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- Sir Muchdoe is a golf enthusiast, and his daughter Eva is looked upon as a great catch. Sir Muchdoe receives a telegram telling him that Duke Mixture and Lord Salisbury are expected as his guests. He is delighted to hear it; his daughter is not. She loves Chester, who sells the soft drinks at the golf course. Nibbs De Hobo and Nobbs De Bum see the message and they get an idea: They plunge into the locker room and steal a fine assortment of golfing togs. Then they present themselves to Sir Muchdoe as the distinguished noblemen. Pa is delighted, and invites his guests to a game of golf, and their attempts at the sport are ludicrous. Chester makes things lively by substituting ancient eggs for the ball at the critical junctures. Eva is riding her horse Patsy to the links. The caddie who has been turned down by her father resolves to be revenged and gives booze to her horse. The animal runs away and the noblemen give chase. They take a short cut, and manage to decoy the horse into the stable by holding a peck of oats out in front of it. Chester is suspicious of the noblemen. On the night of the party they have presented two statues to Sir Muchdoe, which are to be unveiled later in the evening. The statues stand in the conservatory. Chester hires two roughnecks to impersonate the statues, in order to discredit the lords, but his plan miscarries. Then he takes more desperate measures as he hears pa announcing the engagement of Eva to Duke Mixture. He and his pal dress up, and pretending to be the real lords, challenge the pretenders to a duel. The fray is a desperate affair, both principals being so scared that they can hardly stand up. In the middle of the ceremonies the real bearers of the titles arrive with credentials enough to establish their identity, and the bogus ones are kicked out, while Chester embraces Eva. Moving Picture World, November 10, 1917
- A dishonest undertaker stirs up droll, laughable tragedy between two devoted husbands and their loyal wives in his attempt to build up an insurance sideline when the undertaker business fails.
- "I want a plain soda without chocolate flavor," chirped Liberty Bell, the silver-tongued gong of Muchroom Manor, to G. Wattaface, the swiftest shooting soda squirter in the whole state. "We're all out of chocolate, but I can give you one without vanilla flavor," sighed the lover, and just then something happened, in walked father. Father, though a rabid prohibitionist always made it a point not to practice what he preached, so he ordered his daughter without, while he imbibed within his daily "medicine." One night Sylvester Shellfish, a he-vampire, spied Wattaface depositing a note intended for Liberty Bell in the hollow of a tree, and conveyed the information to father, who had already severed diplomatic relations with the young soda dispenser. But Wattaface was the original stick-to-it-kid, so he managed to free Liberty from her father's grasp, and elope with her to Allaboola. General Beetlebuzzer, of the Allaboola Army, goes courting, but when Wattaface butts in and tries to help him make love to the Allaboola queen, Beetlebuzzer becomes indignant and gets his army of seven braves to wipe Wattaface off the map. Liberty sends a telegram asking her father to get the army and navy to help them. This he does, and when he arrives at Allaboola the army and navy are already there. Wattaface is about to be shot when father arrives, and, not knowing whose life he was about to save, disposes of the army in lightning fashion. He is about to shake hands with the wronged man, when he discovers that he saved the life of the villain who had kidnapped his daughter. Just then healthy bomb, which had strayed from the fold, rushes up to them, and bids them both a fond farewell and a pleasant journey.
- Two hotel bell hops get into all kinds of shenanigans between dames, baths and bags of loot.
- Phil and Bill love Gaby. Phil had the best of the bargain for he was the proud possessor of a real car while Bill only had a two-seated motorcycle. Bill called to take Gaby out and Phil came along and stole the girl away because he had a real car. But cars have their troubles and Phil stalled and Bill took a shot at the tires. He had no trouble in persuading Gaby to steal away with him, but he disregarded all speed laws and raced over the ill kept street and spilled Gaby into an excavation. Phil saw this and recovered the lost Gaby. Bill was too interested in the scenery to miss her for some time, but when he did he raced back looking for the missing Gaby. Phil had won her heart and hand owing to the fact that he had a real car. This angered Bill and he immediately purchased himself a large touring car and after some difficulty he learned to drive it. When he learned to drive well enough he went on a hunt for Gaby and found her, but alas, too late, for she was just coming out of the minister's home with her husband. This was too much for Bill. He immediately grew desperate and wanted to die at once. He invited the newlyweds to take a ride in his new car. Hardly had they got seated before he turned and told them it would be their last day on this earth. It was some wild ride and aroused the whole country. Cops in automobiles, cops on motorcycles and cops afoot were chasing Bill on his wild ride, and perhaps it would have been going yet had not Bill disregarded all auto ethics and headed for the pier and into the briny deep. This was Bill's finish for the car was a land car only and they all went to a watery grave.
- Phil is a corn-fed country boy, and Mert is pleasingly plump and mischievous. She rakes the meadows and Phil at the same time. Pop Snodgrass, her father, does not like Phil. He chases him up the windmill, and Phil gets caught in the fans, and whirls around at a great rate. Pop thinks he is rid of him for good. However, a change in the wind throws him into Mert's room, and then Pop is mad. Tinhorn Ted is in jail. However, he steals a saw from a passing workman, and escapes. He hides in a mail bag, and is delivered with the rest of the bags at Pop's place. Pop receives a letter introducing a famous artist, who is recommended to him by a friend. "He wants to paint a pig," says the letter, "so I sent him to you." Pop is delighted and says the artist shall be Mert's husband. Ted determines to impersonate the artist. He meets the real one, beans him and takes his outfit, locking the senseless artist in the hen house. Ted is then presented to Mert as the artist, and she plays and sings for him, to his great agony. They are spooning under a tree, when Phil puts a hen coop over Ted's head. Pop rescues him and spanks Mert. Phil and Mert then determine to elope. Phil is taking Mert out of her window down a ladder when Pop catches him and he runs off down the street balancing Mert on top of the ladder. Pop overtakes them and sends Mert to school. Ted meets his accomplice, Melba Sundae, at the school to kidnap Mert, the heiress. The girls are all in overalls, and Melba puts on a wonderful silk pair. Phil arrives, too, following Mert. The snobbish girls are horrid to Mert, but surround Phil. The mistress throws him out, so he disguises as a little girl and returns. Mert says he is her twin. The girls go to bed, and Melba stays up waiting for Ted. The mistress takes Phil to her room to comb his hair, and his wig comes off. He runs. Mert is kidnapped by Melba and Ted, and Phil follows them to the city. Mert is taken to a café below the street level, and Phil slides through a manhole to get in. Ted introduces Mert as the new dancer, and Phil comes to rescue her. There is a fight, and Mert is carried off in an auto. Phil takes a bicycle from a cop and gives chase. At last they are both caught in the safety fenders of a street car. Moving Picture World, August 11, 1917
- She was just a poor, but honest girl, out looking for a job, when she happened to see the L-KO Film Company offices, and dropped in to secure a job. They did not think much of her work in a tryout as an actress, but when she told them of the number of little mouths she had to feed the manager took pity on her and gave her a job as janitress. Her ambitions were far above the job, and when she discovered an old discarded newspaper, telling of a big floral parade in which the L-KO Company was to participate, she decided that with the assistance of the head janitor they ought to be able to walk away with the parts to be portrayed. After some persuasion, the janitor decides to join her in the impersonation. They arrive at the scene of the parade after donning the apparel of the other actors and actresses. But there was something doing when the actors and actresses who had been chosen by the L-KO to do the work discover that someone had stolen their wardrobes.
- In "Dippy Dan's Doings" ( and not "Dan's Dippy Doings") Dippy Dan (Dan Russell), a taxicab driver in New York City, is addicted to both speeding and flirting, and his affair with a judge's wife combines both of his addictions into a long chase.
- Billy, supposed to saw wood, was possessed of other plans. He went fishing. Lucille was rich. She held a mortgage to the soil where Billy was fishing. The Bevans, proud parents of Billy, were about to be ejected. "I have a plan," said Lucille as she broke in upon them. "Your son", exclaimed the unhandsome spinster. They found Billy. But he had other plans. Billy took Lucille for a boat ride, during which he managed to drop her in the middle of the lake, a stone about her throat. Then he packed his belongings and beat it for town. In the hash house of the sweltering city he found employment and love, in the person of the proprietor's daughter. But Lucille, recovering, got on the job. Bill had no intention of giving up his sweetheart, but he could not confide to her that a former would-be flame devoured corn flakes at one of her father's tables. "Quick, a mustachio from the wigmaker", Bill appealed to a fellow slave. As they are cooing at the desk, Lucille has penetrated Bill's disguise and rushes toward him, throwing her self into his unwilling arms. "Out of my way", exclaims Bill, grabbing up about a dozen and a half plates, which he manipulates with telling effect. A marconi battle follows, with more dishes thrown and a complete demolishing of the place. Lucille goes back to the farm, much the worse for wear, and Bill takes into his arms the fair form of his beloved. The mortgage is lifted from the homestead, and Bill's parents welcome his bride. Lucille takes courage again in the smiles of a lean lodger, sure that he has at last found in her a much-needed and long-coveted meal ticket.
- Billie took out a policy which worked two ways. It was good for a loan of $3.75 or $500 in case of fire. He tried to collect on both clauses but had not counted on rivals and sweethearts. His rival extinguished Billie's insurance blaze and to cop Billie's troubles an ostrich swallowed the bracelet he had bought for his girl. In addition, an unkind note he had written in his rival's name fell into hostile hands and was read by unfriendly eyes. When the fire department and hoses had their turn, Billie found himself completely cured of any inclination to realize on fire insurance policies.
- A city couple drops into a restaurant and try to steal the cash box.
- Whether to asphyxiate himself outright or hire someone to put him out of the world and thus relieve himself of the suspense of death, was the question Mr. McIdiot had to decide for himself after his lady friend refused to marry him. At first he decided on self-destruction, but when he attempted to throw himself into the lake, several hungry alligators cruising around it in changed his mind. He then hired the Chief Assassin of the Murderers' Association to do away with him within 12 hours. Same assassin agreed to the bargain, but meanwhile, Mr. McIdiot's lady friend decided she had made a mistake and told Mr. McIdiot she wanted him back. He went to cancel his bargain with the assassin, but unluckily he was out on a killing expedition, and Mr. McIdiot couldn't find him. To make matters worse, the Chief Assassin had a fit of remorse and decided to give up his old life. He chose the same minister to confess to who was marrying Mr. McIdiot, and the meeting was not pleasant. Mr. McIdiot ran up a high ladder, and the Chief Assassin fell off the same ladder into shallow water. Mr. McIdiot finally got the girl, but he was in such nervous condition he forgot to kiss her at the close of the wedding ceremony.
- Three suitors tried to serenade the girl all at the same time, but there was a discord in their regard for one another as well as in their instruments. In fact, the ill feeling grew so pronounced that a couple of them took refuge in a shed. This didn't relieve the situation, as the shed was blown up and they were taken to the hospital. On the way the ambulances ran over Billie, the only uninjured Romeo, and he had to go to the hospital too. Meanwhile, suitor Henric got chummy with a fat gentleman who was suffering from an overindulgence of liquor, and he imagined he was seeing things and started following a bomb. The unpleasantness and confusion was enhanced when the girl came to visit Henric, everything went wrong, and there was a big, unexpected explosion. The great question was, who suffered most?
- Phil is about to graduate at the School of "Detecatufs," and he and the chief are trying the effect of various disguises on each other. A suspicious party is registered at the hotel, and the detecatufs are called in. They disguise themselves as porters and busy themselves with the baggage, in order to divert the attention of the guests. The bride, Lucille, and groom arrive and register at the desk. Soon after another pair, with Merta as the bride, also appear and ask for rooms. Their trunks are delivered and Phil is told to take them upstairs. He takes up Lucille's and leaves it outside her door, going down for Merta's. Charles comes along and take Lucille's down on the elevator, under the impression that it was left there to be taken away. When Phil staggers up the stairs with Merta's, he is horrified to find Lucille's gone. In the confusion the trunks are delivered to the wrong rooms, and Merta nearly has a fit when she opens the one in her room and finds clothes much too small for her in it. Phil and Charles, meantime, have made many changes in make-up and succeeded in deceiving no one but each other. Each thinks the other a suspicious character, until his disguise is removed. The trunks become hopelessly confused, each taking the wrong one into the hall. For some unknown reason, they find themselves on the roof, where they do stunts with the trunks over the edge. One trunk is landed on the telegraph wires, with the detectives and guests after it. There is a battle for the possession of the trunk high up above the city. At last trunk, detective and guests fall together in one heap.
- Billie enjoys flirting with the ladies, and so does Henry, although he's married. Trouble erupts when both men bring dates to the same beer garden, and Billie's date turns out to be Henry's wife.
- Two men who seek the same girl are switched back and forth in the wedding ceremony.
- To cancel his mortgage, a farmer agrees to marry his daughter to his creditor's son. The daughter has different plans.
- Mert, the station agent, loved Al the foreman, and Mert's father, the engineer, loved Al's mother, and Al loved Mert, and Al's mother loved Mert's father. However, Mert's father did not love Al, and Al's mother did not love Mert, so that kept things from being monotonous. Al invited Mert to the soda fountain, but when Mert found that he had no money she suspected that the attraction was Babe the dispenser of liquid refreshment. Herein she wronged Al's honest soul. Al found Mert's father making love to his mother and threw flour at them. Just then the train arrived, and with it Terrible Ted, the He-Vampire. Ma and Pa were sitting a truck, and Al sneaked up and tied it to the train as it pulled out. However, the end of the rope caught his foot and he was hauled along the track till Pa cut the rope and they all came home. Mert was making making eyes at Ted. His idea was to get into the safe while she flagged the train. He and his confederates had almost succeeded, when Mert managed to grab the bad in which they had placed the money and pull it up through a trap in the ceiling. They discovered her and pursued her to the roof. She jumped off, but they got her, and put her in a trunk. They then loaded the trunk onto a passing train. Al and Babe went to the rescue on a handcar. All of them arrived in the Great City, and the trunk with Mert inside was taken to a room. Al and Babe arrived, and Mert, looking out of the window, saw them. She wrote a note which she placed in the water pitcher and threw out of the window. Al snatched a bow and arrow from a child and shot a reply to her. He sent up a rope and Mert lowered the money to him. She then slid down the rope after tying it to the bed, and they all went off on the handcar, pursued by the villains in an auto. But the handcar reached the station first. Ted was not to be foiled, and be subdued them all with chloroform. She grabbed him, threw him off the train, and then returned with the money. Moving Picture World, October 27, 1917
- The Fire Chief's daughter is sought after by three suitors.
- Kid Cameraflage, the Chief's chauffeur, was secretly married to the maid. She had promised to take good care of him before he married her, but everything was different now, for he was made to do the menial work and become a full-fledged kitchen mechanic to meet the high cost of living. The Chief and his wife were happy. They had a battle every other minute. The Chief gets an order from the Mayor, advising him that all blackhanders must be clean-shaven. This aggravates one of the blackhanders, who picks himself out a well-fed bomb, and wends his weary way to the office of the Mayor. Kid Cameraflage, whose duties varied, was lining up the cuspidors, when he spied the bomb nestling in one of them. Everyone looked on to see the Kid's finish, but picking the bomb up courageously, he flung it out of the window, hitting the blackhanders, and saved the day. "You're fired!" said the Mayor to the Chief. "You're hired!" said the Mayor to the Kid. "You're chauffeur!" said the Kid to the Chief, and so the Chief became the chauffeur, while the chauffeur became the chief. Returning home, the ex-chauffeur and the maid took possession of the Chief's house. Kid Cameraflage fell asleep in Mrs. Chief's room. The maid tried to detain the Chief by fainting in his arms. Friend wife, seeing her husband's arms full of maid, entered her room, and she found the Kid trembling in her clothes closet. Thereupon she, too, fainted. The ex-Chief's bullets send the Kid to the roof, but they all drop through the skylight and land back where they came from. Explanations are in order, and the Kid relinquishes his right to Chiefdom.
- Dinty, a bum, had just alighted from his "pullman" when he went out on a hunt for cigars. But the men were smoking them very short that season, so it was a hard job to get a good smoke. At last he was run over by a machine as he was in the act of getting a good one, and the doctor took pity on the fellow and took him home. At the house of the doctor he revived and was asked to stay for dinner. During the meal he became flirty and began to write notes to the lady of the house under the table. After dinner he became a little more familiar and the doctor was angry. He ejected Dinty from the house, so the tramp swore revenge. Dinty telephoned the doctor to come to a certain house at once, and then, when the doctor went to the door, he stole the car. Calling for the doctor's wife in the car, he took her for a ride. But as a chauffeur Dinty was not a success and it was not long before the flivver was a thing of the past. It so happened that the smashup occurred just in front of the hospital, so that he was taken inside and given the best of attention. The doctor was at once sent for, as an operation was deemed necessary. But the doctor that came was the very one who was looking for Dinty. With fiendish glee he sharpened the knife and prepared to take his pound of flesh. Dinty managed to get away and led the surgeon a chase all over the hospital. Then the police arrived and things got even more complicated. Dinty got out and took refuge in an auto with the cops after him. The chase ended in the doctor's house again. Dinty entered the room of the doctor's wife and then the doctor came in. He was forced to hide in the closet, but at last was discovered by the irate man. The picture ends as the masher gets his true deserts.
- Gladys Zell, besides being a nurse, was a heart breaker. Simple Jinx, the janitor, was her latest conquest. Dr. Soakum, head of the day nursery, was old in years, but young in experience, so he took a flying leap into Glady's heart. It was circus day in kiddie land, and Mrs. Washington Mint, a millionairess, brought her little heiress to the nursery, while she went out to do a day's washing. Dr. Soakum entered the nursery to deposit his new charge, when a love scene enacted by Miss Gladys and Mr. Jinx hit him in the eye. Dr. Soakum fired Simple Jinx. Jinx espied a baby carriage with some baby clothes in a yard opposite. A big idea struck the great lover. With the assistance of Fatty Lard, Simple Jinx managed to ride his way into the nursery. When Gladys kissed the sweet thing she recognized Jinx's brand. Down in the underworld a storm was brewing. They had to make a haul somewhere, so they selected the little heiress. Planting a live dairy inside a milk wagon, Terrible Ike, the King of the Roughnecks, comes to sell milk to the nursery. In the confusion Terrible Ike grabbed the baby heiress and the pretty nurse, and rode off, followed by Jinx, who had managed to extricate himself from the hole in the wall. Jinx overhears the gang planning to hold the heiress for ransom, and, accidentally pushing his head through the wall, bids Terrible Ike the time of the day. Jinx was choked and bound to a chair, and Gladys, blindfolded, was forced to operate a sewing machine near a barrel of dynamite. A burning candle attached to the thread of the machine was the means to the end. As she sat there sewing the burning candle kept coming nearer and nearer the barrel of dynamite. The frantic mother was notified, and together with Dr. Soakum they rescue the baby and the two lovers in the neck of time, but the gang would not be foiled, so they followed the fugitives in a fast Ford. Simple Jinx, who rode off on a bicycle, reached a bridge, and lassoing the nurse and baby, rescued them from the gang. Moving Picture World, December 8, 1917
- Dinty was hard to discourage in his coquettishness, and he flirted desperately, and without the least embarrassment to himself. Unfortunately he was unlucky in one of his flirting excursions, as he picked out a lady whose husband had the nastiest temper and was the most unreasonable when he got angry, of any flirt discourager alive. Husband gave Dinty a fair and gentlemanly warning and fate was against him until he discovered that he was unintentionally taking a bath in the wife's bathtub. Also he discovered that husband was in the near vicinity with two Krupps, and that the means of exit from the bathroom led right past husband. How flirts miraculously escape, how innocent people get mixed up in pursuits they don't want to, and how some people live through terrible experiences was proven here. The result of it all was that Dinty tried to escape on a streetcar in his kimono. The conductor was willing, the motorman was unwilling and Dinty was unwilling, but husband was close behind with his trusty Krupps, and Dinty just naturally had to keep going to perish from a shot in the excitement. The chase eventually stopped, but it stopped when the streetcar conductor stopped in the middle of a railroad crossing when a train was due to pass. The only thing that got stopped was Dinty's inclination for flirting. The crash was heard for miles and several policemen lost their dignity trying to escape from the onrushing train. As Dinty went up on a sliver from the cowcatcher he remarked that flirting does not pay.
- A married couple's dream of true love is upset by an intrusive gas man and other flirtatious individuals.
- There is no reliable documentation that any film bearing this title was produced or distributed at this time by either L-KO or Universal. There was no L-KO film released on the alleged 11 December 1914 release date, under this or any other title; this title is either entirely bogus, a figment of some contributor's imagination, or else a working title or a re-release title of another unidentified film.
- Fiery-tempered Captain Barnacle, who is master of a steamer, is very jealous of his wife, and when he finds her pursued by a masher, he chastises him and warns him to leave town in one half-hour, under threat of death. The masher takes this very seriously and stows away on a ship. Judge of his horror when he finds he is on the same craft with the captain's wife: she screams and the husband, master of the vessel, appears. Imagining the silly dude has followed his beloved wife on board, he makes his life terrible. The crew finally mutiny and scuttle the ship. The dude is hurled into the hold and becomes a hero by stopping the leak in an ingenious manner.
- Anne had three suitors, Bill, the choice of her dad, Frank, the choice of her mother, and Johnnie, the choice of her own heart. She stood it as long as she could, and then she took matters into her own hands. She sent Frank word to disguise as a woman, and they would elope that night. At the same time she sent word to Bill to do the same thing. Bill and Frank then eloped with each other, and she ran off with Johnnie.
- Billie and his wife for twenty years had gotten along fine until the Star Boarder arrived on the scene. Bill had a pretty wife and the Star Boarder immediately fell in love with her. He began to sow seeds of discontent in her mind. And as you know very few of us are free from faults. Bill had a few of these the Star Boarder began to magnify to the little wife, who fell for his slander. After a time she grew so discontented that she decided that life was too short to live with so worthless a man as Bill. The Star Boarder was then happy and immediately after the divorce popped the question to her and they were married. It was raining terribly while the ceremony was performed, which was a bad omen, but the Star Boarder called a cab to take them home, and lo and behold who should arrive but Bill with his old jitney bus. When he discovered who his fares were he immediately proceeded to give them the ride of their lives. Over fences, through green pastures and uphill and down dale. He was pursued by cops, pedestrians, dogs and everything, but Bill raced on until the old bus blew up with all occupants. Bill thus got the last wallop at the Star Boarder.
- Father, with two other old fossils, was sitting in the park for an airing. A swell dame appeared and the other two edged Father out and went over and got acquainted. Just as they were getting along nicely, the lady's escort appeared. The guilty pair made a hasty exit, but the escort followed them up and slapped their faces. Father was congratulating himself that he remained out of the affair, when the escort noticed him and gave him a slap for good measure. He was knocked into a young chap who didn't like being bumped into. He told Father so, emphasizing his dislike with a smack on the jaw. Father went home and daughter insisted that he meet her new sweetheart. Father was introduced, but the sweetheart was the young chap who had smacked him. Sweetheart was ordered out, but he went home and disguised as a girl to come back to the house. When Father set eyes on him he thought him a girl. So did Hank, the park escort, and they both tried to elope with him. This led to disagreements. A taxi ran away, and Hank was hung up on a hot trolley wire. There was a marriage, but neither Father nor Hank was the bridegroom.
- Ambrose is an enormously powerful, but tender-hearted, blacksmith, who takes it upon himself to right the wrongs inflicted upon the heroine by a black-hearted "villun."
- The proprietor of the Crowing Rooster Inn was a bad man, but he went one too many when he stole the airship model from the War Department, for they were on his trail immediately. The head waitress discovered the workshop where the proprietor was having the model duplicated and she was bribed not to say anything about what she saw. She started out with the bribe money to buy some gewgaws for herself, but she got in the road of a passing auto. Unfortunately, the auto contained the young Secret Service agent. He rescued her and took her to the Crowing Rooster Inn. There he tried to get her to tell about the aeroplane in the garret. She refused and went her way, but she had a terrible dream in which she tried to secure the model with the assistance of the Secret Service man and some local cops. She awakened after a perilous trip through the air, accompanied by the Secret Service man chasing the bandits who had escaped in a fast aeroplane.
- Being an ex-Minister of Hosiery to the Siberian Monarch has its advantages. But it also has its disadvantages, and one of the main disadvantages was that the ex-minister had a very artistic and sensitive temperament which had to be gratified. The manner of gratification was hanging around the mansions of the Four Hundred. This might have been all right, but the minister ran afoul of an officer who couldn't appreciate artistic temperaments, and said officer actually struck the Baron. In addition, the Baron obtained a dollar from Reno Reggie under false pretenses, and this transaction later rebounded on the Baron under embarrassing circumstances. Anyway, the Baron was invited to the Rustlebucks' garden party, where he covered himself with distinction and cream puffs at the tea table. Even this might not have extinguished him socially, but the Rustlebucks gave a dinner at the Ice Palace, where the Baron's behavior caused his social career to be ended without a doubt. Suffice to say, that the law took a hand, the manager of the Ice Palace took a hand, and the cops took hold of both feet of the Baron. The ensuing scenes were painful in the extreme. The Baron got on a fourteen-story skyscraper and imagined he could run about on the edge of the building and defy the laws of gravity, but the laws of gravity would not be defied and the Baron fell off and struck himself in the dining room. The upshot of it all was that Reno Reggie got old Rustlebucks' daughter and the Baron got six months in the hospital among the chloroform and acid bottles. The only one who sent him flowers was Mama Rustlebucks, but these were poison ivy blossoms.
- A pretty nurse makes an impression on Billie. Her flirtation arouses the jealousy of the crippled anarchist, who gets even by bouncing a basin on Billie's head. The young interne, also in love with the pretty nurse, makes a date to meet her, but Billie, waiting for another sight of his lady fair, forestalls him. The interne's jealousy aroused, he proceeds to punish Billie. Believing him dead, the frightened nurse and interne make off for the hospital. Found unconscious by a couple of policemen, Billie is restored by a whiff of his beloved gin. He is carried into the hospital, where his head is bandaged and he is prepared for bed. Turning into the ward he is treated by the anarchist. The ungrateful Billie manages to steal the bottle, but is not able to get away with the contents before the arrival of the nurse. Recognizing him, the nurse showers attentions upon him, much to the jealousy of the anarchist, who plants a bomb under the bed of the sleeping Billie. The anarchist, awaiting the explosion, is horrified to discover the nurse sitting on the bed with Billie. He endeavors to drag her away and the bomb is discovered. Thoroughly alarmed, the entire hospital force endeavor to throw the bomb out. In the confusion the anarchist is thrown on the bed of Billie, and together on Billie's little hospital bed they are blown through the roof, finally landing in the lake.
- Hughie's better half leaves the dressing of her little girl to him, so he costumes her in a pillowcase with the horns cut off. The most important people in town besides Hughie and his wife are the Purity League, headed by Judge Knott. Hughie takes his daughter to the beach and puts her in her baby-wagon in the shade to nap, but she is a fine swimmer and takes a dip. The lifeguard is sleepy, sees the empty wagon, and climbs in for a nap. Hughie and the Judge both pick out beach-peaches and have a good time. Someone pushes the wagon and the lifeguard is shoved into the sea. Hughie thinks that his little one is drowning and calls for help. The lifeguard brings her in while Hughie is having a lovely time with the girls. One of them dresses in a seaweed skirt and does a Hula Hula. They tell Hughie that he would be a hit as a dancer and wreath him in seaweed. Of course Hughie believes all this hot air about his being a vision in a Hula Hula outfit, and he dances his head, arms, and legs off just to prove it. Mrs. Hughie never said anything like this to him, and the exhilarating effect on the beach maidens causes him to double his exertions until he drops limp on the beach like a baby whale. The Purity League resolves to clean up the beach, and the whole bunch is arrested and taken to the station. There they recognize Judge Knott, and threaten to give him away if he fines them, so he lets them all go. The prettiest girl writes a note to Hughie asking him to meet her on the beach that night. When he goes she prepares to let her confederate in to rob his house. Wifie wakes and finds the note. Hughie, tired of waiting, returns to the house and meets the girl. He hides her in his wife's room. Mrs. Hughie has met the lifeguard, whom she brings home with her. The girl tells Hughie that a strange man is with his wife. Hughie and the guard fight. Then Hughie's kiddie comes in and asks for the pretty lady who was there, and the fat is in the fire. Wifey calls the cops, and Hughie's finish is a rapid one. Moving Picture World, November 24, 1917
- Mishap the school cook falls in love with the new teacher, who is really a crook.
- The artists were trying to paint September mornings one September morning, but it soon developed into a September evening with a good night attached, when one of them tried to sell a bum painting to a shrewd dealer and the other tried to paint a model against her will. This unpleasantness was soon over, however, and the artists got into a Grecian garden where some dancing girls were running around with a smile and some jewelry on, and a gentleman was trying to take snapshots with a camera. The gentleman and the artists tried to look at the ladies simultaneously and as there was only room for one spectator there arose a dispute as to who should gain the vantage point. This dispute was not polite and the three gentlemen start to chase one another about among the poison ivy and whortleberry vines. The dancers remained unembarrassed, but some conscientious policemen thought they were indecent and attempted to hold overcoats over them out of respect for the public morals. The ladies thought differently and ditched the policemen in the cold lake and went back to dance in the sunlight. Things were almost smooth and delightful again when the art dealer appeared and insisted with a Krupp gun the artist could hardly refuse. The other artist was confronted with some little past professional dirty work that he indulged in at one time, and this little affair was unpleasant. The only ones who remained unruffled were the dancing girls, who continued to sport in the sun.
- The old man goes away on vacation and leaves his son in charge of the house, with no money. The son gets the idea of renting the rooms. He steals a sign and hangs it out. Mr. and Mrs. Henpeck arrive with their daughter. They are all loaded into an auto, but it breaks down. Henpeck must transfer all the bundles to a wagon. The horse makes a meal of Mrs. Henpeck's new hat. Filet Mignon of the Follies has rented a room. Hen falls a victim to her charms. Mrs. Hen ties hubby to the bedstead, but he transfers the rope to the heaviest bag and goes out. An old man who rooms across the hall is much interested in Filet. She puts on the ballet costume, decorates himself with a lampshade, and they do a pas-de-deux. Her maid gives a note to the Black porter asking him to meet her in the park at 3:00. Mrs. Hen finds it and thinks it is from Filet to her husband. She ties a bean bag to his back, with the corner torn out of it, but the chicken gets out and eats the beans. Hen gets through the transom and back to Filet. He orders supper. He connects a tube with the open gas jet and asphyxiates the old man. Mrs. Hen has gone to the park, thinking to trap her husband. She meets the Black maid instead and they have a fight. Both end in the lake. Meantime, the snake in the grass has seen the supper party. He creeps in. Filet flies, and Hen puts on a suit of armor. The Black girl comes to serve the next course and is scared white. Mrs. Hen returns. Hen takes the bellboy's cap and goes in to answer Filet's ring. Mrs. Hen follows, and Hen hides in the folding bed. Mrs. Hen suspects where he is, and there is a mix-up in which the bed goes through the wall. Hen climbs a tree. It is in a picnic ground, and the village band is playing. Hen drops into the drum and goes rolling down the hill. He falls over a bank and into the auto which is carrying Filet away from the house.
- Last Chance Valley fairly wallowed in wickedness. To it came Professor Polonius Pinhead upon the back of his donkey and boon companion, King Solomon, and there he found two shrinking flowers of the valley. One's name was Violet and the other was Molly, whose expansion was in direct contrast to Violet's shrinking. She weighed 350 and could juggle a bean-shooter as well as any gun-toter. And, of course, there was a bad man. His name was Howling Hank, and he was a union villain licensed by the Moving Picture Theater Villains' Association, to wear the official black mustache and carry forty-seven shots in his six-shooter. Now, Howling Hank was determined that Violet should work in his dance-hall, and Molly was just as determined that Violet should not. Into this life and death struggle King Solomon, the donkey, kicked Professor Pinhead, and this elongated individual eventually obtained Dutch courage enough to route the villain, to save Violet, and to marry Molly.
- The stenographer was entirely too pretty for the equilibrium of the office force, and both clerks and the boss found themselves off balance. The boss had the advantage of authority in the office, but unluckily he didn't have the same at home, and when his spouse happened in and interrupted a little conversation he was having with the stenographer, said stenographer went out by express orders of the wife. This didn't help matters, however, as Gertie came back in boy's clothes, got her old job back, and also got Wifey stuck on her. The ensuing trouble is best left untold, with the exception of a secret meeting at the café, an intercepted note, and an important disclosure just at the wrong time. The whole affair would have been far better if Wifey had not attempted to take over the office under her management and Gertie had not imagined she could get away with the men's clothes effect.
- Hubby made such a noise in his soup bowl that Wifey simply couldn't stand it and she rather frankly told him that he should use a muffler. This made husband peeved and he went over and started to talk to a strange lady on a park bench. Unfortunately this lady had a husband who had a hair-trigger temper, and was the amateur champion slapper. He put a couple of slaps on Hubby's proboscis for good measure. This physical warning to flirts was further exemplified when husband's wife and the other wife's husband found themselves in a very embarrassing position and the champion persisted in beating up the husband when he was laboring under a delusion that he was beating up a chronic flirt. How unexpectedly events can transpire was certainly proven when the wrong husband and the wrong wife found themselves under the glare of publicity through an unfortunate accident on the telephone wires. In fact, the whole affair was one unfortunate thing after another, and about the only individual who was not ready for Reno was a policeman. This individual was burned by hot telephone wires while attempting to rescue husband and wife.