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- A bank clerk who becomes wealthy after backing a California gold prospector, is implicated in the death of a detective who was investigating his corrupt business partner.
- Heinie and Louie rescue a fair dame who tells them her life's history. She is hooked up with a John who thinks women an inferior sex, and she resents it. In fact, she resents it so much that she tells our heroes that she'll give them $5,000 to do away with him, to which the gallant Heinie, always ready to help a lady in distress (for a consideration) answers: "Consider yourself a vidow." The boys write a decoy note to the caveman and get him to their rooms, where they truss him up. They then go and tell friend wife that they come to officially announce that they will kill her husband at midnight, as per specifications. Then they go back, and the surprise that awaits them, well, better see the picture.
- "Heinie," the "masked marvel" who, to convince the lady of his love that he had prowess beyond that of all other men, entered the arena, and from its mat challenged the world. But "Heinie" is far seeing. In collusion with his partner in crime, "Louie," he rigs up a mechanical device whereby "Louie," behind the scenes, at a signal from "Heinie" presses a button that releases a spike in the center of the floor, which spike punctures the spinal column of the wrestler over it, and so makes him unfit for further dispute. Jack, another aspirant for the hand of the fair dame in the case, also enters the lists. Heinie's stunt works well, and in some screamingly funny bouts he manages to disable four of his most feared rivals. "Louie," behind the scenes, made careless by the easy success of his button pushing work, falls asleep, and when he awakes instinctively pushes the button. But alas, "Heinie" is over the spike at that moment and takes the count. Then Jack puts the other contenders wise, and "Heinie" and "Louie" show better form as sprinters than they have in any of their previous accomplishments.
- Heinie and Louie read that Professor Waldemar Flubdub of London is on his way to this country with "Skylight Sleep," a new anaesthetic. It is then determined in council assembled that they will board the steamer down the bay and relieve the Professor of his medicine. This is accomplished in due time, and they then set about administering the drug to anyone who shows the slightest inclination for it. They are reaping a harvest and are on the high road to wealth when their well-laid plans go astray. And only because the Honorable Flubdub is rescued from the unusual position in which he is found in his stateroom, tied hand and foot. Irate Prof. makes his way ashore and soon runs into the two heroes with his most cherished discovery, which they are using with the greatest abandon. A call for the police soon puts them in their right place, and the last seen of the two noted "surgeons" is when they are being lugged off with little ceremony to the nearest lockup.
- Hubby promises to phone home every ten minutes so that wifey can be sure he is using his time well.
- Heinie and Louie awake in their improvised scups, and Louie, acting on the principle "first up best fed," makes a raid on the morning's milk. Needless to say he meets with considerable opposition from Heinie, and the resultant "spilled milk" is something that less-hardened scoundrels might cry over. But Heinie and Louie have a little account to settle with the world which, according to them, is in their debt for a "lifing," and go out to make an adjustment. Flossie Coughdrop, also out, is attacked by some roughs whom our heroes disperse. The boys are taken to Flossie's home where they are introduced to Floss's friend, and the four pair off in the usual sentimental way. Their sentiment is interrupted, however, by the college boy friends of the girls who are worsted by Heinie and Louie with the aid of a stuffed porcupine. That night, aided and abetted by other college boys, the two rah-rah Johnnies kidnap the luckless swains, wrap them in the Ostermoor and drag them from the end of an automobile over many rough miles of road. After this things happen so quickly that the only way to enjoy it is to see it.
- Heinie and Louie wake from their slumber and after a quarrel about the division of their stolen breakfast, they set out to seek their fortunes in an unsympathetic world, and spoil a valuable painting in the hands of Don Mendez, an art connoisseur, who is out with his sister. Don Mendez is a fiery don who was raised on a bottle of tobacco juice, and he tells the boys they will work out the damage or die. "You shall watch this door of my sister's room, so that her American sweetheart can't spirit her away," he tells Heinie. "And you this one," is his command to Louie. But sister's sweetheart comes in through the window, and together he and sister plan our heroes' downfall. Sister entices first Heinie into her room and then caresses him with a brick. Louie is next and receives the same attention. Then the sweethearts elope and leave Heinie and Louie to the mercies (?) of the paprika person who awakes in due time and furnishes the hard luck twins with the excitement to which they are accustomed.
- The widow's pies disappear from her back fence. The deacon, rival with the farmer for the widow's hand, sees a chance to put his rival out of the running. He takes a pie and a bottle of chloroform to the farmer's room and when the rival lover enters, he puts him to sleep and rubs pie all over his face. In the process of making the farmer out as the pie stealer, the deacon drops his watch which is picked up by a tramp hiding under the bed. The farmer is convicted and put into prison. The tramp is sent to prison, too. He recognizes the farmer, who knows nothing about why he has thus been rudely cast behind the bars, and divulges the deacon's plot. The farmer and the tramp are released and hasten to the widow's house, where they arrive just in time to break up a happy little wedding party. The watch proves the tramp's tale, and the farmer and the deacon exchange places.
- Heinie and Louie are commissioned to kidnap a fair dame whose father is about to have her married to some anaemic count against her will. For this job the 'ansom 'ero offers them one thousand dollars. They pull the trick and demand the thousand, upon which the elopers bind them, change clothes with them and rush off. Heinie and Louie are found by irate papa, who thinks them the runaway and they are hauled off to the station house, where the big disclosure stuff is worked.
- Our old friends Heinie and Louie are featured with the ice. or rather, on the ice, and give an exhibition of rough ice riding. The cake of ice gets started on its downward path early in the story, but is captured by Heinie, who brings it back to its owner a little lighter for its exercise, but then you can't melt your cake and have it. So the proprietress, a fascinating Mariuch, is content. She is more than content; she is actually beaming, for the gallant Heinie has appealed to her as a man whose place should ever be her ice house. Heinie doesn't mind being liked, but he never was clever on the ice, so he puts his partner Louie on the job while he melts the ice lady's heart. Mariuch's former sweetheart then appears on the scene and with the aid of some companions, proceeds to cool Heinie's ardor by tying him to a cake of ice and starting him from the top of a high hill, for heaven knows where.
- Heinie is a hen-pecked husband. So much under the thumb of his cute little 250-pound wife is Heinie that he wears a lace cap and a carpet sweeper is his favorite plaything. But one day Louie comes as a physician to attend Mrs. Heinie. This is too much for our hero. He rises up in his wrath and runs away from home. Good fortune, though, takes a hand at this juncture, and Heinie gets hold of a magic liquid that transforms him from a weak-kneed atom into a roaring terror. He returns home, and what he does to his wife and her relatives, to say nothing of a squad of police that is brought in to subdue him, is a caution.
- Three city sports, reeking of 6th Ave. and 14th St., come to Hicksville, and immediately two of them have a desire to create the only atmosphere they're comfortable in. The third, Aleck, has the desire but not the youth, so he stays home and makes sure of the crowd's funds by sewing them in the lining of his suit. Willie and George shine up to two charmers who are accustomed to stepping lively and all their available cash is used in a taxi ride to a swell café. Willie doesn't have much trouble in faking up a fit outside the café, and the boys depart, making a date for that evening. They then go home and look for their cash, but Aleck's been there first. The only available asset is the sleeping Aleck's clothes, which they take out and hock. When Aleck awakes the boys tell him they have soaked his clothes, and he almost jumps out of his pajamas at the news. Disguised as a woman, he takes the boys' clothes to pawn them in order to get enough money to take his own suit with the money sewed in the lining out of hock. But alas, the suit has already been sold.
- Gill Howe, while riding on a business trip through the country for Mr. Stacey, his employer, accidentally falls from his horse and is seriously injured. John Adams and his daughter are driving along the roadside and discover Gill Howe lying in the snow drift. They take him to their home and nurse him. Gill requests Kate Adams to notify his sister of his accident and to come to him. The two girls meet and become friends. Gill falls in love with Kate. He is the chief advisor of Samuel Stacey, a millionaire promoter. Kate's father is a big contractor for the great dam in the wilderness and meets with financial difficulty. He thrashes a thieving man for trying to steal from the works. The man becomes very angry and threatens to have revenge. John Adams is very much worried over the works being shut down and not being able to pay any money to the laborers, who have become very angry, and threaten to blow up the dam. Through a stray bullet John Adams is accidentally shot. Unable to go to the city to borrow money on securities, he sends his daughter. She arrives in the city and seeks to borrow from Stacey, who insults her in his office. Gill, overhearing the insult to the girl who has been so kind to him. resents it. Through his interference, he is discharged by Stacey. Gill then assists Kate in borrowing the money. They are continually blocked through Stacey's interference, so finally Gill arranges with several friends to detain Stacey until they get the money. Being tricked, Stacey swears revenge and follows the girl and Gill to the dam. Gill, who has proven himself to be loyal, is now made manager of the dam. This displeases the present foreman, who conspires with Stacey to overthrow Gill. The laborers continue rioting and howling for their money. Through Mr. Adams, Gill secures aid from the governor of the state, to protect their large holdings and investments. Gill pleads with the rioters and begs them to keep quiet and promises that all salaries will be paid in due time. Through jealousy, Stacey with the assistance of the foreman urges the crowd to wreck the great dam. The militia arrive in time with their Gattling Guns. Gill instructs the militia that if they are forced to fire, to use only blank shells to frighten the mob away. Stacey, who overhears Gill, surreptitiously substitutes real bullets, and then incites the men to riot. A moving picture man, scouting for scenes of interest, is photographing the dam where these labor disturbances are taking place. He sees Stacey substituting the bullets and photographs the dastardly deed. He runs off, to hide his camera and, returning to the spot, sees the militia firing upon the rioters. He hastens to Stacey's office and accuses him of murder through his substitution of the bullets for blanks. Stacey and the foreman attack the cameraman, carry him into the dam and turn on the water. Gill hears his cries and rushes to the rescue. Being unable to turn off the water, he secures dynamite and blasts the dam. He succeeds in rescuing the cameraman, and takes him to his home. Gill is arrested and accused of being responsible for the murder of the rioters. While the trial is proceeding the cameraman enters the court with a moving picture machine, and after darkening the courtroom, shows the picture of Stacey substituting the bullets. He then tells the story to the court, resulting in the freeing of Gill and the militia officers, and the conviction of Stacey.
- Jim Borden, a big loving, good-natured fellow lives in the woods with his wife, Alda, his crippled brother, Jack, and his baby, who is the apple of his eye. He struggles to keep up the expense of the land which he is trying to improve, by working at taxidermy and selling his specimens. He also studies medicine and chemistry in his spare moments. Jim has a great affection for Jack, who became crippled in his early youth, in saving Jim's life. Jack, the cripple, is very fond of Jim's baby. Alda, the wife, however, denies Jim the joy of romping with the baby, contending that his crooked shape will have an ill influence on the child. She refers to him as an imp. The very first quarrel between Jim and his wife is the defense of Jack, whom he hears his wife speak ill of. Jim declares that Jack's poor bones were twisted in saving his life, and no one, not even she, his wife, shall speak ill of him. Hardy, a hunter, is accidentally shot in the mountains while hunting. He is found by Jim, Jack and their dogs. He is brought to Jim's home and cared for. The wife falls in love with Hardy. Jack surprises them in embrace. He refrains from exposing them, knowing the pain it would cause Jim. He orders Hardy from the house. The wife induces Jim to turn all his property over to her. She and Hardy leave together, taking Jim's baby. The property is sold and Jim and Jack are driven off. Jim, who adores his wife and baby, is crushed beneath the mighty blow. Gradually there comes through the daze of the terrific blow a desire for revenge upon the guilty pair. Jim records an oath, but he does not call upon high Heaven to witness that oath. He starts about it in a secret, systematic, subtle manner. He labors arduously with his medicine and chemistry. Ten years pass; Jim is in Spain. He is a wonderful doctor, having won the world's highest honors. Under another name he is loved and respected. Through his great skill he has been able to correct his brother's misshapen bones. He meets a Spanish woman of great beauty, who has a crippled arm. He operates, correcting the condition, thus winning the Spanish beauty's undying gratitude. Jim, still with the thought of vengeance most prominent in his mind, takes advantage of her gratitude to extract from her a sacred oath at her shrine, to do his future bidding. A short space of time has passed. A terrific epidemic of spinal meningitis has broken out in the South. Jim having a specific cure, starts for America with Jack. Alda, Jim's former wife, and Hardy are living in a southern city. Jim and Jack arrive in the South. Jim works day and night to relieve the suffering of the stricken. Like an angel, worn and weary, never thinking of himself, he works on, on. He gathers up the stricken, carrying them through the streets to the improvised hospital, where he operates. When others fear, he is at hand to aid. Hardy, the snake in the grass, is stricken. Alda reads of Jim's phenomenal cures. Not knowing he is her former husband, the man she has wronged, she goes to Jim to help Hardy. Here comes a great surprise when she recognizes Jim. He consents to see Hardy. He meets his own child. Jim consents to save Hardy's life for two purposes, one condition being that Alda tell the child that he, Jim, is its father, and that she also tell the child of her own shame and guilt. She does this in order to save Hardy's life. The child shrinks from her. Jim saves Hardy's life for future vengeance. He sends for Mama, the Spanish beauty, who in time wins Hardy away from Jim's former wife, so she suffers the same pains she inflicted upon Jim. Alda, deserted by Hardy, becomes poor and wretched. The child leaves her, seeking a home with Jim, her father. Later Jim takes the Spanish beauty from Hardy; thus, he, too, feels the hand of vengeance. The wife seeks peace beneath the hood of a nun. Jack becomes happy in the arms and love of the Spanish beauty. Jim. after years of suffering, gathers his precious baby within his big arms and silently thanks God for the one blessing bestowed. When not employed comforting the ill and suffering, his thoughts wander back into the purple past of what seems so long ago, and he thinks of what might have been.
- In Bombay, Count Adolphe elopes with Vasca, although engaged to a lady in Rome. In that city two years later the Roman lady's father hears of Adolphe's wife and child. He sets the Black League to work. As a result, the young wife is met by death. The baby daughter is abandoned. The deed is committed by Michael, a confidential servant of the Roman lady. Adolphe eventually marries the Roman lady and Michael becomes their butler. Twenty years later Adolphe, now the Duke of Torini, for the first time receives news of his daughter. He sends his secretary to Bombay to fetch her. The young couple falls in love. The mind of Michael is unhinged by the sight of the young lady, and in his temporary insanity he tells the Duke where the proofs of his crime are to be found. The Duke finds the papers, sends them to his secretary, Genovo, makes his will in favor of his daughter, Zania, and dies of heart disease. Michael, having no knowledge of what he said or did in his delirium, thinks the proofs have been taken by Zania. The father of the duchess is compromised by the missing papers, so Michael confides in her. They seek the help of the Black League. Zania cannot give up the papers she has not got. She is kidnapped and taken to the Tower of Terror. Then next morning Genovo, her lover, sets out to rescue her. He discovers where she is and has a terrific fight with her jailer. In the struggle a lantern is upset, and the place set on fire, and the jailer meets his death. Genovo reaches his sweetheart, but escape is cut off by the fire. They get free by climbing down a tower over 200 feet high, the most sensational feat ever shown in a film. The Duchess and Michael arrive at the Tower of Terror just as the fire reaches some powder barrels, and the guilty couple are blown to bits.
- Heinie and Louie are guardians for a girl who is fabulously rich and extremely good looking. Some unthinking unfortunate left both the cash and the girl behind him when he took up his abode in the next world and foolishly provided in his will that the girl should be under the care of Heinie and Louie and that she should marry one of them. They are called to the office of the lawyers in charge of the estate and told of their good luck. They imagine that the girl is anything other than the beauty she really is, and are agreeably surprised when they see her. Her surprise, however, is anything but agreeable, because she had arranged to marry the man of her choice. Both Heinie and Louie propose to her, and she accepts the former. Then she arranges with her lover to act the part of the clergyman, after insisting that Heinie draw the money from the bank. He does this and hands it over to her when the ceremony is carried out. But he then finds that the minister is none other than his rival, and that he has been "fleeced" out of a perfectly good fortune. Great are his lamentations thereat.
- Louie and Heinie find jobs with a village grocer who agrees to pay them $5 a month for the two, the principal inducement, however, being the grocer's attractive daughter, with whom both fall in love. Their rivalry leads to a fight in which the grocery is wrecked, and Louie and Heinie are fired. In the meantime the daughter in reply to their proposals of love tells them that she will marry none but a brave man and as a test of love demands that they spend a night in a haunted house nearby, she agreeing to marry the one proving himself the bravest. Louie and Heinie accept the conditions and repair to the haunted house. Her sweetheart learning of this, with two pals, dress in skeleton suits and sneak into the haunted house. Louie and Heinie are awakened by their antics and flee in terror from the house. Outdistancing the pursuers they sit down to rest on a keg of powder. The keg is open. Heinie would smoke a cigarette. They vanish in the explosion.
- Hans and Heinie are broke. Hans concludes that, having once been a horse doctor, he can cure human beings. He brews bacterium of a disease called the jumps. They inoculate the folk of a village with the jumps, and hang out a sign specializing in a cure for jumps. Their office is besieged. They make instant cures and incidentally a barrel of money but their trick is finally exposed. They are arrested, and jailed much to their discomfiture, but to the amusement of those who witness this wonderful get-rich scheme of Hans and Heinie.
- Heinie and Louie are made guardians of a young girl. If she marries with their consent, their guardianship ends and they lose a salary of five thousand a year. If she marries without their consent the money goes to charity and their guardianship ends. They both try to marry her and keep the money in the family. The sweetheart of the ward enlists the aid of a beautiful young woman, to make love to the two Dutchmen, and make them jealous, with the hope that in their anger they will kill each other, thus leaving the sweethearts free to marry. The scheme worked beautifully to a happy ending, and many laughs.
- Bill, Tom and Tickey Childs, two brothers and a young sister, are living on a large tract of timberland to improve it. The land is the property of the younger brother, Tom, who takes his business away from the hands of a scheming lawyer, who designs to defraud him of his property. The lawyer has a friend noted as a grafter. The grafter's daughter, Kate, overhears her father accused of being a notorious grafter. She is horror stricken. The father is threatened with prison for his nefarious dealings. Failing to secure money to cover his misdeeds, Kate is persuaded by him and the scheming lawyer to go to the woods and induce Tom and his younger sister to come to the city. She does not realize that her father and the lawyer mean to trick Tom. Brother Bill does not like the idea of their going to the big city, but Kate promises to shield and protect the little sister. Time passes on and not a word is heard from either side. The grafter sees that all the letters are intercepted. Bill goes to the big city only to find that his brother Tom is leading the pace that kills, gambling and drinking. He finds his little sister in a cabaret. Tom is kept drinking at the big city club by the grafter's friends. He is invited to become one of its members. He thinks he is signing a membership certificate, but they change the papers and he signs away his entire timber land. Kate overhears her father's conversation with the scheming lawyer, when he tells him what he has done and that he will get his share of the money. She realizes that she is the cause of Tom signing away his property and immediately starts to assist him in recovering it. She confesses to Tom the unintentional wrongs she has done him, which caused the loss of his timberland. Tom is very much infatuated with Kate and asks her to marry him. She denounces the grafters and begs Tom to take her to the log cabin, as his wife. Kate, the sister, and both brothers arrive at the log cabin and are immediately pursued by the scheming lawyer and his followers, who claim the timberland. Tom drives them off. During the night, forest fires start, and in trying to fight the flames, Tom falls into a blazing bear pit. Bill jumps in to save him and they both have to struggle for their lives. The forest fires are creeping all over the land and here you see one of the greatest blazing fires ever conceived in a moving picture. Kate and the little sister save them. When they arrive at the cabin they are thrown off their land by the scheming lawyer. Bill calls the lawyer a human wolf and swears he will be the human bloodhound to track him to his last lair. He succeeds in securing considerable evidence against the lawyer. The lawyer feeling safe in his possession of the property decides to go to the city. Bill tracks him to the hill-top. They fight over the rocks and cliff. As Bill is about to throw the lawyer over the cliff, the little sister arrives just in time to prevent him from committing murder. Bill drags the lawyer to the courthouse and there, with the evidence he has gathered, succeeds in convicting the lawyer, denounces the rest of the grafters and adjusts all wrongs.
- Two old maids live alone. One is simply crazy to get married. Their father has died and left his wealth about the house. They search for it tirelessly. The older places an advertisement in the newspaper for a husband, a dimple being a condition to acceptance. An old fellow who lives next door is in love with her. She objects to him because he has no dimple. This angers him. A young Portuguese nobleman seeks her hand. The old fellow next door accuses him of being a crook. He is thrown from the old maid's house. In revenge he has a bomb placed in the old maid's house. The house is blown completely to pieces. The great treasure is revealed. The Portuguese, thinking fast, says he did it to reveal the treasure. He is accepted. The unsuccessful rival goes in search of an anarchist to have him apply house-wrecking measures on his own person.
- Two Germans are traveling in Cuba. One saves the life of a wealthy Cuban who gives the German the hand of his daughter. She has already been married. Her young husband threatens to pursue the German over the world and kill him. Later, the old Cuban sends his lawyer, who resembles the young husband, to New York to find the German to give him $100,000. The two Germans think the fellow with the money is the one who has come to kill. Consequently they have a fearful time keeping away from the man who is trying to give them the money; the two men who look so alike, coming and going. The German's great confusion and fear forms the foundation for laughable situations.
- Heinie's lot is pretty rough, doughnuts all he has to munch; Louie's plight is still more tough, hasn't got a thing for lunch. Myrtle is a sculptress fair; see her in her studio, not a model has she there, though she's searched both high and low. Louie gets a mighty start when he gazes at his pal entering the shrine of art with the pretty sculptor gal. Heinie cannot understand what the reason is that he has been kidnapped, so he asks, "What idt iss you vant off me?" "All you have to do is pose; stand still for a minute, wearing scarcely any clothes; there's five hundred dollars in it." "Lofely woman, you're a queen, beautifuller than Venus. I lofe you wid all my bean. Noddings will come in between us." Well, to make a long story short, Louie pushes his way into the posing class and rouses the anger of his companion-in-crime. The result is a beating for the intruder and a jail term for Heinie.
- Heinie, now happily married, is engaged in removing such particles of dirt from the carpet as a broom in the hands of a novice will remove. While he conscientiously studies the art of street cleaning by mail, his most loving better half prepares the grub. The most awkward of men, he bumps against the tray of food which his wife fetches to him, giving himself another lesson in his chosen art and no nourishment with which to continue his muscle wrecking studies. He proceeds to the delicatessen for more bologna. Meanwhile Louie stands all alone holding up the side of a shack, in which a band of kidnappers are plotting. They hear his breathing and open the door very suddenly. Thereafter Louie is one of them and steals a child just as Heinie marches home with the luxuries. Heinie sees him and pursues him into the shack, where he neatly cleans up the clan and takes the baby home. Louie squeals to the police with the result that Heinie goes to jail. The imitation zebra make a getaway and Heinie comes home to make a counter charge against Louie. Louie is found guilty and loses his precious liberty. Heinie returns to his domicile to comfort his weeping wife.
- Heinie gains an entree to the upper crust and although for a while he resembles a bull in a social china chop, he finally lands home with a batting average of 500.
- Heinie and Louie run afoul of a sort of Utopia in which only women reside. There are female cops and all other officials of the town are of that sex. Men are barred under pain of death, so when our two heroes are observed wandering along the main thoroughfare of the burg they are immediately spotted and pursued by the entire police force and captured. After being subjected to the spanking machine and the water cure, they are locked up in cells, but the novelty of having males in the neighborhood appeals to the mayoress and sheriffess, and they take the captives to their home for dinner. But even this hospitality has no effect on their guests, and the latter rob their hostesses of the contents of the safe. However, some time later their absence is discovered by the cops and they are tracked down to the home of the mayor, where they are given a terrific beating and cast to the four winds.
- Thus far the world has not come to Heinie and Louie's way of thinking, thus far the world has not given them a living. Coming to a town where the dominant Heinie feels that Louie's conspicuous face is too familiar to the inhabitants, he adopts a well-known disguise for the "sometimes" humble Louie. Heinie having tonsorial ability of no mean note, very rapidly relieves the very willing Louie of his troublesome goatee, and with shears, brush and a curry-comb, he trims his golden locks. They borrow some clothes of vintage unknown, and hire sleeping quarters, payment promised. Much disturbed by the landlady's son, they seek to revenge themselves by storing the contents of their room in a trunk of unfathomable depth. Then proceeding to call in an express man, they are stopped by the irate landlady, who expresses a wish, that they expressly "fork over." Failing, they are ordered to the kitchen to "work it out." It would have been better to have ejected them immediately, for the damage they wrought to the well-kept kitchen was irreparable. The star boarder, a tragedian, suffers much at the hands of the two hoodlums. The other boarders, enraged, put the troublemakers into the street, where they are set upon by a minion of the law, and jailed, much to their satisfaction, because of the things to eat.
- Heinie and Louie, two old pals, find themselves alone in the world and stranded. Disheartened, they stride into the railway station where their eyes fall upon a man decked out with diamonds. Heinie and Louie think quickly; they decide to follow the illustrious gentleman with a view of parting him from his wealth. That night they stealthily enter the house they see him enter and suddenly come in contact with a large vase which falls and breaks. The count and his valet rush down and confront the two, who are all unnerved. Not desiring to be sent to jail, they pretend to be newspaper reporters. Through this medium Heinie and Louie find that the man they intended to rob is a count, who came to America for the purpose of marrying an heiress, whom the Count had never seen. The two friendly Dutchmen imprison the Count and his valet and decide to pose as the Count. Heinie and Louie call on the heiress and introduce themselves as "the Count and his noble friend." They are accorded a hearty welcome and the heiress falls a victim of love to the charms of the "pseudo count." But the real Count and his valet, whom Heinie and Louie thought safely imprisoned, free themselves with the aid of the famous police force and wend their hasty steps in the direction of the heiress' home, where Heinie and Louie are stopping. The real Count presents himself and a chase starts. Heinie and Louie, seeing that they are about to be caught, lock themselves in a box car and the chasing mob fall in a heap from exhaustion beside the passing train.
- Heinie finds a ticket to the big show and to prove "you can't fool Heinie," declares that the magic man is not a real "magicer" at all but a bush league faker. He starts something he can't finish, and gives the audience a highly amusing number not on the bill.
- Heinie and Louie learn that a high-priced mechanical doll is about to be sent from abroad to Mrs. R.U.A. Nutt, so they figure that they may as well get in on the good thing. Accordingly, Louie is "all dolled up" to represent the mechanical wonder and is brought to Mrs. Nutt's home. They manage to get away with it for a while, but later on, Slippery Jim, who has also fallen for the mechanical doll stuff, brings one of his own. The two dolls meet each other and their antics are most ludicrous. But finally the real doll makes its appearance and the plotters are put to rout.
- Heinie and Louie follow Mabel into a soda emporium. As she leaves and is asked for her cash, she tells the waiter that her friends will pay, but they are not very enthusiastic about the invitation. They finally leave the place and camp on Mabel's trail, which leads to a gymnasium where she is working out for reducing purposes. They are persuaded to sign up to appear at an entertainment to be given some days later. The eventful night rolls around and they are introduced to a packed house. A wrestling bout opens the fun. Heinie starts off with the famous nose hold, and gets a grip on Louie's "beak," angering the worthy so much that he retaliates with the famous toe hold. This is not sufficient and he is compelled to resort to a hold of his own invention, which he calls the "tickle" grip. This consists in tickling Heinie under the armpits and causes him to fall heavily to the mat, a beaten gladiator. They then start a ten round bout. The manly art of self-defense as portrayed by these two doesn't appeal, so the contest is stopped. The two contestants echo the sentiments of the audience and realize that as athletes they are frosts.
- This film. It presents a funny mix-up of babies, and the only jarring note is where an automobile is seen to run into a baby carriage which has started on its way downhill alone. - The Moving Picture World, January 23, 1915
- Heinie and Louie, suffering the pangs of hunger, take to chicken-stealing to relieve said pangs. Getting a couple of fat birds, they go to the edge of a neighboring lake to pluck them, but a mysterious hand rising out of the water disconcerts them. They flee, but the hand greets them wherever they go and finally, getting all their courage together, they grab the card held in the hand. This directs them to go to a certain address, death being the penalty should they fail. They go and there find a queen of a band of rogues, who directs them to kill a rival. They leave on this errand, but when they arrive at the home of their quarry, they find her to be a much more formidable person than they had imagined her to be. She pulls a gun on them and they take to their heels. When they return to the queen, she orders them to get the third degree of those who fail to carry out her royal command, and they are pitched without ceremony into the tank reserved for such emergencies.
- Fatty is on his way to be married when an escaped 'wild man' from the circus attacks him and changes clothes with him. Then the circus keepers are after Fatty.
- Heinie and Louie wake up under the spreading filbert tree, and consult on how best to extract from a reluctant world the living so long withheld from them. They are surprised when a dainty slipper lands at their feet, with the following message neatly inserted: "We are two sisters, one fair, the other homely. Neither of us may marry unless the other one does. If you are game, come tomorrow at noon. You will find both heavily veiled. One of you will get the fair one. Here's hoping you both win." The boys have the true gambler's instinct, and decide to risk it, each trusting in Providence to cast his lot with the fair one. They get dolled up and meet the tremulous brides, who are dressed exactly alike, and heavily veiled. The fatal knots are tied, and Louie, raising his veil to either kiss or say howdedo to his bride, discovers he picked the winner. It's needless to say what Heinie discovers. The boys then find themselves proprietors of a milk bottling station, and take immediate charge. Louie, made ambitious by his recent luck, proceeds to take charge of the girl engaged in capping the bottles, and his fair wife, catching him at his tricks decides to make up to Heinie, and be revenged. She and Heinie, have a pretty soft time of it for a while, when the girls' cousin Reggie, a social scandal hound, spies them and gets out an extra early edition on it. Louie then pursues his old side kick, with intent to kill, and Heinie lands up in a doctor's office to have his nerves overhauled. His run has made him dry, and he tries something sweet smelling out of a convenient bottle, and is quite put out to find it poison. The doctor says that nothing but milk will save him, and Heinie starts his race for life to his milk station, where he meets up with more side-splitting complications than there is room to tell of here.
- Whoever it was wrote "troubles never some single," must have been inspired by the checkered career of Heinie and Louie. We'll have to start this story with Mrs. Walter Blister, instead of with Heinie and Louie, because if she had never been entrusted with a magnificent emerald by her husband, she wouldn't have set out for the jeweler's, and if she hadn't set out for the jeweler's, she wouldn't have dropped her bag going there. And if she had never dropped her bag going there, why, they would never have stolen it and this story wouldn't been. But she was, and she did, and so did they, and there you are. Heinie and Louie made way with the bag securely wrapped in a lump of baker's dough. But here comes the complication. A baker and a cop, in full cry after a thief who'd just stolen some kneaded dough, come upon our luckless pirates, and take from them their dough, which wasn't his at all. With it goes the silver bag, and the emerald in it. The baker, satisfied, goes back to his oven and proceeds to bake the dough into bread. Heinie and Louie down to their last nickel, buy a loaf of bread, and find in it, yes, you guessed it. But this is not the last of it by a long shot. Heinie and Louie do not, of course, keep the emerald. But their attempts to make a one-reel comedy of unusual gaiety.
- Louie gets an idea. He tells Heinie he will marry an heiress. He does and leads her to the altar in her own drawing room. Getting sore at the wedding because the best man kisses the bride, Louie swats him. They clinch and destroy the wedding supper. Louie sneaks out on the porch and is kidnapped by serenaders and carried twenty miles away. On his way back he meets Heinie and a pal who insist on food. Louie invites them home with him. They steal a goose for the occasion. Arriving home, they cook the goose without cleaning it. It blows up, fills the house with smoke and feathers, and wakes the family. The cop, who has seen them steal the goose, arrests Louie. Heinie and the bum escape and Louie, seeing that the jig is up, dives through the window and beats it. Rejoining Heinie, they go to the country, following the road called "Nowhere."
- The honorable Heinie again shouts that the world owes him and his partner a living and that they must get it. Comfortably resting under some hay in a stranger's barn-loft, they are rudely disturbed by a pitchfork in the hands of the stranger. Forcibly ejected from the loft via the air route, they escape the necessity for arnica by landing in a cistern. With a fire nicely burning and their clothing set to dry, Heinie engages in a game of solitaire and Louie, reading the news of the day before notices that the wealthy Mrs. Moore has decided to purchase the "Black Statue" from one Prof. Weiss. Heinie, a man possessing great powers of control, is immediately given a coat of liquid black with trousers to match. Properly packed, Heinie is brought to the house of the wealthy Mrs. Moore, but the fond embraces of the women prove his powers of resistance to be nil, and he and his companion Louie must needs retreat. And then he awakens, from a dream.
- Heinie and his pal crawl out from the sewer from where they have spent the night. They decide that the world owes them a living, and go to find it. They bamboozle a boarding house landlady into giving them a room for which they promise to pay her that afternoon. They raid the kitchen for food, but are caught. Then they try to get away with a trunk filled with the fixings of the room. They are again captured and put to work in the kitchen, helping the cook. As usual, they start things which end in a smashup all around, and a gentle ride down the street with the officer of the law.