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- After an unexpected drunken one night stand with a truly "bad girl", regular guy Jeff Bryers is about to get his own taste of immortality. Quickly finding that sunlight has a nasty tendency to make him explode, Jeff is forced to throw his overly-expensive college education down the drain and embark on a new career: late night Chinese food delivery.
- Jeff is more miserable than ever and, with so many things on his mind, can't sleep. After weeks of insomnia, Jeff realizes that the problem lies in finding the right kind of bed - as in a coffin. But new coffins are too expensive, online discounters won't deliver to his apartment, and Craigslist is for the insane. After searching everywhere, Jeff and Ryan make a plan to get a coffin the hard way: by robbing a grave.
- Colleen drags Jeff to a surprise intervention where his former colleagues, mistaking his affliction for drug addiction, try to get Jeff into rehab.