Dutch/Flemish films
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- DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsCarice van HoutenSebastian KochThom HoffmanIn the Nazi-occupied Netherlands during World War II, a Jewish singer infiltrates the regional Gestapo headquarters for the Dutch resistance.
- DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsMonique van de VenRutger HauerTonny HuurdemanAn aimless young artist learns to face his responsibilities when a former lover develops a terminal illness.
- DirectorReinout OerlemansStarsCarice van HoutenBarry AtsmaAnna DrijverA serial adulterer faces his demons when his loving wife falls severely ill.
- DirectorMaarten TreurnietStarsRutger HauerReinout Scholten van AschatGijs NaberA bold, amateur kidnapping goes wildly awry in this fictionalized account of beer magnate Alfred Heineken's 1983 abduction, which would go on to become one of The Netherlands' most infamous crimes.
- DirectorPaula van der OestStarsSallie HarmsenMarwan KenzariBarry AtsmaA young assistant DA puts a serial killing nurse behind bars, only to discover evidence that may prove her innocence.
- DirectorFelix van GroeningenStarsVeerle BaetensJohan HeldenberghNell CattrysseElise and Didier fall in love at first sight, in spite of their differences. He talks, she listens. He's a romantic atheist, she's a religious realist. When their daughter becomes seriously ill, their love is put on trial.
- DirectorGeorge SluizerStarsBernard-Pierre DonnadieuGene BervoetsJohanna ter SteegeRex and Saskia, a young couple in love, are on vacation. They stop at a busy service station and Saskia is abducted. After three years and no sign of Saskia, Rex begins receiving letters from the abductor.
- DirectorMartin KoolhovenStarsMartijn LakemeierJamie Campbell BowerYorick van WageningenIn German-occupied Netherlands, a teenage boy gets involved in the Dutch resistance after coming to the aid of a wounded RAF pilot.
- DirectorAlex van WarmerdamStarsJan BijvoetHadewych MinisJeroen PercevalA vagrant enters the lives of an arrogant upper-class family, turning their lives into a psychological nightmare in the process.
- DirectorMike van DiemStarsPavlik Jansen op de HaarJan DecleirFedja van HuêtJacob Katadreuffe lives mute with his mother, has no contact with his father who only works against him and wants to become a lawyer, at all costs.
- DirectorFons RademakersStarsDerek de LintMarc van UchelenMonique van de VenA Dutch doctor, haunted by grueling childhood memories of World War II, struggles to find peace as he spends his life looking for answers about the tragic night that shaped him.
- DirectorMarleen GorrisStarsWilleke van AmmelrooyJan DecleirVeerle van OverloopA Dutch matron establishes and, for several generations, oversees a close-knit, matriarchal community where feminism and liberalism thrive.
- DirectorBen SombogaartStarsEllen VogelGudrun OkrasThekla ReutenTwin sisters Lotte and Anne grow up very differently after their parents death. Now adults, they want to reunite but World War II and their growing socioeconomic differences complicate things.
- DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsRutger HauerJeroen KrabbéSusan PenhaligonDuring World War II, Dutch students join the resistance movement against the German occupation of the Netherlands.
- DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsPeter BlokRobert de HoogSallie HarmsenDuring his 50th birthday party thrown by his wife, Remco's life takes a turn for the worse: His business partners are scheming behind his back to sell him out, and his former mistress shows up pregnant.
- DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsJeroen KrabbéRenée SoutendijkThom HoffmanA man who has been having visions of an impending danger begins an affair with a woman who may lead him to his doom.
- DirectorDick MaasStarsHuub StapelWilleke van AmmelrooyJosine van DalsumA lift technician finds himself drawn into a web of mystery and peril as he investigates the perplexing deadly accidents occurring in the elevators of a new office building.
- DirectorDick MaasStarsHuub StapelMonique van de VenSerge-Henri ValckeA hard-boiled police detective sets out to capture a gruesome serial killer terrorizing the canals of Amsterdam.
- DirectorRobert Jan WestdijkStarsKim van KootenRomijn ConenHugo MetsersMartijn is obsessed with his younger sister Daantje and visits her to make a documentary about her. He manages to invade Daantje's life with his video camera, but soon unresolved issues from a distant past come to the surface.
- DirectorJoost van GinkelStarsAngela NedyalkovBoris IsakovicErik AdelöwThe jarring lives of six immigrant residents of Amsterdam intertwine in a poetic mosaic.
- DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsHans van TongerenRenée SoutendijkToon AgterbergSeveral Dutch teenagers realize the cruel difference between dreams and reality.
- DirectorAlex van WarmerdamStarsJack WouterseAnnet MalherbeRudolf LucieerDuring the summer of 1960, the idiosyncratic residents of a one-street Dutch suburb collide in intertwining stories of desire and frustration.
- DirectorFons RademakersStarsLex SchoorelNan LosVan DoudeThe fainthearted cigar trader Ducker keeps himself quiet during World War II. That changes when parachutist Dorbeck lands in his backyard. It turns out the parachutist bears a remarkable resemblance to Ducker. Ducker follows Dorbeck blindly, becomes involved in the Dutch resistance and soon starts killing people. When he escapes through German lines to the freed South Netherlands, no one has ever heard of Dorbeck.
- DirectorVincent BalStarsCarice van HoutenTheo MaassenSarah BannierA cat who turns into a young woman helps a journalist protect their town from a factory boss with an evil plan.
- DirectorJoram LürsenStarsMichiel RomeynThomas AcdaAnneke BlokThe bumpy love lives of four Amsterdam couples intersect during the days leading up to Dutch national holiday Sinterklaas.
- DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsMonique van de VenRutger HauerAndrea DomburgThe young girl Keetje moves to Amsterdam in 1881 with her impoverished family, and is led into prostitution in order to survive. In the process she sees the corrupting influence of money.
- DirectorDick MaasStarsNelly FrijdaHuub StapelRené van 't HofA rather a-social family, gets a chance to live in an upper-class neighborhood. As they are not accepted by the snobs living there, they get in all sorts of trouble.
- DirectorFons RademakersStarsMax CroisetMary DresselhuysBernard DroogAn independent-thinking doctor in a rural community with his own ideas of how medicine should be practiced begins to find himself ostracized from the community after one of his patients commits suicide.
- DirectorDennis BotsStarsHanna ObbeekNils VerkooijenFiona LivingstonAkkie is a pretty schoolgirl who is good at soccer and doesn't let boys mess with her, until she is diagnosed with leukemia and must start her battle to stay alive.
- DirectorPieter KuijpersStarsEgbert Jan WeeberTygo GernandtAngela SchijfTwo small-town Dutch boys have such a close socially unnatural friendship that they care nothing for human or divine rules and lose all grip on reality, sliding into violent crime.
- DirectorMartin KoolhovenStarsGuy PearceDakota FanningEmilia JonesFrom the moment the new Reverend climbs the pulpit, Liz knows that she and her family are in great danger.
- DirectorErik de BruynStarsFedja van HuêtFrank LammersFrederik BromThree friends live an anguished existence in a small village by the sea. Al three want to break loss. Motorcycling, music and partying gives temporary satisfaction, but no solution.
- DirectorBert HaanstraStarsSimon CarmiggeltBert HaanstraPeter UstinovHow do the Dutch people live? Hidden cameras filmed the crowds on the beach, during carnival time, skating on the ice plains...
- DirectorJean van de VeldeStarsCas JansenRicky KooleThomas AcdaBased on a book about an infamous real scandal in the Dutch crime scene, the film aims at exposing the horrors caused by corruption on both sides of the law. A rookie policeman is coerced into obtaining secret information from a childhood friend turned gangster. The childhood friend turns informant. But his revelations are hardly the most important "leaks" in the story. In fact, the new relationship between old friends goes all wrong, and the young policeman becomes increasingly involved in a deadly web of lies, crimes, treason, and revenge, all seemingly out of control.
- DirectorJob GosschalkStarsPaul de LeeuwKarina SmuldersLineke RijxmanWhen Molly, the 21 year-old sister of Maarten, departs the family home, she leaves her older brother with empty nest syndrome.
- DirectorEddy TerstallStarsCees GeelMarcel HensemaRifka LodeizenA mild-mannered gay dentist and a hedonist womanizer rekindle their unlikely friendship when the latter's terminal cancer drives them back together after a decade apart.
- DirectorDanyael SugawaraStarsAnneke BlokMarnie BlokManuel BroekmanA story on the trials and tribulations of a mother-and-son relationship, which goes downhill after son Damiaan passes his school exams and almost immediately moves into a squat, while his widowed mother Aleid falls for the charms of a skipper and moves in with him just as soon.
- DirectorLodewijk CrijnsStarsJaap SpijkersRenée SoutendijkJack WouterseBy accident, Luc discovers the whereabouts of his brother Ad, who mysteriously disappeared fifteen years before. As it turns out, he is living with Els, secluded from the rest of the world, on a farm. Luc decides to stay a few days, even though he and his wife Mieke are not welcome at first. After a while, Mieke heads home. Also, Luc hears strange sounds coming from a barn at the farm. He decides to investigate the matter. He discovers a secret that Ad and Els have been hiding for years.
- DirectorPieter KuijpersStarsTheo MaassenGijs Scholten van AschatMaryam HassouniA lonesome ambulance driver turns both his life and society upside down after one night he violently loses his temper with the hoodlum youths who hinder him in performing his duties.
- DirectorMichiel ten HornStarsPepijn CladderAnis de JongWolf de Witte van LeeuwenA 30-something slacker finds his carefree life turned upside down when he falls for his sister's teenage babysitter.
- DirectorMenno MeyjesStarsThekla ReutenDaan SchuurmansJacob DerwigTwo well-to-do couples with plenty to lose have dinner to discuss the gruesome act their teenage sons may or may not have committed together.
- DirectorPieter KuijpersStarsHuub StapelJeroen van KoningsbruggeElla-June HenrardLove is the Word is a moving, romantic and funny coming-of-age drama about the magic of first love and the misery of first lost, set in 1978: the year 'Grease' hit the big screen.
- DirectorErik de BruynStarsFedja van HuêtFrank LammersFrederik BromThree friends live an anguished existence in a small village by the sea. Al three want to break loss. Motorcycling, music and partying gives temporary satisfaction, but no solution.
- DirectorAntoinette BeumerStarsCarice van HoutenMarcel HensemaWaldemar TorenstraAfter giving birth to her first child, a happily-married woman sees her picture-perfect life spiral out of control.
- DirectorBen SombogaartStarsKarina SmuldersAnna DrijverElise SchaapA romantic drama that charts the lives of three women from different backgrounds, forever changed when they emigrate to New Zealand as war brides.
- DirectorRoel ReinéStarsFrank LammersSanne LangelaarBarry AtsmaWhen the young republic of The Netherlands is attacked by England, France, and Germany, and the country is on the brink of civil war, only one man can lead the country's strongest weapon, the Dutch fleet: Michiel de Ruyter.
- DirectorNic BalthazarStarsMarijke PinoyGreg TimmermansCesar De SutterAs an alternative to getting bullied at school, an autistic teenager retreats into the world of online role-playing games.
- DirectorDiederik EbbingeStarsTon KasRené van 't HofPorgy FranssenA lonely widower finds himself facing both his own regrets and his devout Calvinist community when he takes a deranged vagrant into his home.
- DirectorSteffen HaarsFlip Van der KuilStarsHuub SmitTim HaarsWesley van GaalenFive friends from 'Maaskantje' are getting fired because of the economic crisis. They decide that they won't pay for anything anymore.
- DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsMonique van de VenRutger HauerAndrea DomburgThe young girl Keetje moves to Amsterdam in 1881 with her impoverished family, and is led into prostitution in order to survive. In the process she sees the corrupting influence of money.
- DirectorPaula van der OestStarsSylvia PoortaAnneke BlokMonic HendrickxZus & Zo shows what three sisters are willing to do to stop their would-be sister-in-law from coming into possession of Paraíso, their beloved family summer home on the Portuguese coast.
- DirectorWillem GerritsenStarsNiek RoozenMartijn van EijzerenSimon KindermansFour teenagers decide to spend their summer holiday on a camping at the beach. Officially to disseminate ashes of a grandfather, but foremost to finally get laid.
- DirectorErik Van LooyStarsKoen De BouwWerner De SmedtJan DecleirVincke and Verstuyft are the best detectives of the Antwerp police department. They are confronted with the murder on a leading executive and put all their effort to catch the murderer.
- DirectorJan VerheyenStarsKoen De BouwWerner De SmedtBlerim DestaniVincke and Verstuyft are detectives of the Antwerp police department. This time they have to deal with the Albanian mob and some problems in their own police division.
- DirectorPieter KuijpersStarsSteef de BotHuub SmitSigrid ten NapelThe story about Riphagen, a cunning Dutch traitor during WW2 who helped Nazi round up Jews, stealing their treasures for himself. He destroyed Resistance groups, making many who pursued justice after the war look like fools.
- DirectorJoram LürsenStarsGijs Scholten van AschatJacob DerwigRifka LodeizenIn 1888 Amsterdam, a stubborn violin maker and his pharmacist cousin face hardship and tragedy as they oppose the powerful businessmen who plan to force him from his house and erect a luxurious new hotel in its place.
- DirectorDiederik Van RooijenStarsMatteo van der GrijnMonique van de VenDerek de LintUpon learning she has an autistic brother she is convinced is unjustly behind bars for a brutal murder, a lawyer sets out to prove her sibling's innocence - only to uncover even more life-changing secrets in the process.
- DirectorAntoinette BeumerStarsCarice van HoutenJelka van HoutenHolly HunterDutch twin sisters travel to America to look for their long-lost mother.
- DirectorAlex van WarmerdamStarsAlex van WarmerdamAriane SchluterJaap SpijkersA downtrodden waiter decides to take up matters with the screenwriter determined to make him suffer.
- DirectorAlex van WarmerdamStarsHenri GarcinIngeborg ElzevierAlexander ElmeckyAn artist, a school girl, a maid, a train conductor and a business executive are drawn into a great wheel of misfortune as all their lives are touched by the existence of one very particular summer dress.
- DirectorFelix van GroeningenStarsKenneth VanbaedenValentijn DhaenensKoen De GraeveA thirty-something novelist and impending father looks back on his all-too-formative years in the hapless, alcohol-ridden milieu of his youth in 1980s rural Flanders, Belgium.
- DirectorMichaël R. RoskamStarsMatthias SchoenaertsJeroen PercevalJeanne DandoySint-Truiden, Belgium. Jacky, a young cattle farmer who is constantly pumped on steroids and hormones, is approached by a veterinarian to make a deal with a notorious beef trader.
- DirectorJos StellingStarsSylvia HoeksRenata LitvinovaDieter HallervordenThe Girl and Death tells us the impossible love story of Nicolai and the courtesan Elise. A love obstructed by materialism, wealth and death threat.
- StarsSylvia HoeksKees PrinsGuido PollemansAfter a photographer and a lawyer start a steamy affair, their lives and those around them get entangled in dirty business and family secrets.
- DirectorHans HerbotsStarsGeert Van RampelbergIna GeertsJohan van AsscheA police inspector haunted by the childhood abduction of his brother becomes obsessed with the disturbing case of a dangerous serial kidnapper
- DirectorKarim TraïdiaStarsJaap SpijkersMonic HendrickxRudi FalkenhagenPolish deceived woman hides from pimps on a Dutch farm, and shares an intriguing romance with the farmer.
- DirectorGuido PietersStarsDanny de MunkWilleke van AmmelrooyHerman van VeenA poor 11-year-old schoolboy with a heart of gold grows up in 1930s Amsterdam.
- DirectorRemy van HeugtenStarsJohan LeysenVincent van der ValkAli Ben HorstingIn the impoverished southern Dutch province of Limburg, the bond between a former mine worker and his only son is put to the test as the latter takes it upon himself to pay his father's debts to a local gangster.
- DirectorAlex van WarmerdamStarsAlex van WarmerdamHenri GarcinOlga ZuiderhoekA well-to-do, shut-in thirty-something faces city life, family secrets and his own quirks when he is finally thrown out by his parents.
- DirectorEddy TerstallStarsMarc van UchelenRifka LodeizenNadja HüpscherIn Rent a Friend the talented painter ARTHUR is suffering from an artist's block. Alfred does not bother about becoming rich and famous. He sticks to painting bright coloured Mexican hats. Alfred's total lack of ambition increasingly irritates his girlfriend MONIEK. Moniek is a successful writer of a popular Dutch soap opera and she is continuously accusing Alfred of having no commercial instinct. The soap episodes created by Moniek are totally based on her own life. When Alfred sees one of the episodes, he correctly infers that she is having an affair with the executive producer. He decides to leave Moniek and sets out to show the world that he doesn't have a problem with making money. He starts a company called Rent a Friend and rents himself out as a friend to those in need of one. The concept is so successful that he soon is running a veritable "friends empire". Things really take off when Alfred hires the highly inventive manager Françoise. Moniek, by this time, is lonely and unhappy - perhaps it's time she calls Rent a Friend?
- DirectorEddy TerstallStarsRoberta PetzoldtMeral PolatLidija StevanovicBecoming father and daughter in one week.
- DirectorAlex van WarmerdamStarsAlex van WarmerdamAnnet MalherbeAriane SchluterThe wife of an illiterate farmer hires a beautiful woman to teach him how to read and write.
- DirectorLee TamahoriStarsDominic CooperLudivine SagnierRaad RawiA chilling vision of the house of Saddam. The world of Hussein comes to life through the eyes of the man who was given a choice; either be the double for Saddam's sadistic son, or die.
- DirectorAlex van WarmerdamStarsTom DewispelaereAlex van WarmerdamMaria KraakmanOn his birthday, a hitman reluctantly takes on the easy task of killing a writer, only to find the job a lot more difficult than expected.
- DirectorJoram LürsenStarsJacob DerwigBarry AtsmaFockeline OuwerkerkIn Nazi-occupied Amsterdam, banker brothers Walraven and Gijs van Hall face their greatest challenge yet when they decide to help fund the Dutch resistance.
- DirectorPeter GreenawayStarsRichard BohringerMichael GambonHelen MirrenAt Le Hollandais gourmet restaurant, every night is filled with opulence, decadence and gluttony. But when the cook, a thief, his wife and her lover all come together, they unleash a shocking torrent of sex, food, murder and revenge.
- CreatorDiederik Van RooijenPieter Bart KorthuisStarsMonic HendrickxSigrid ten NapelStijn TaverneAfter her husband is assassinated, housewife Carmen reluctantly has to take charge of the criminal business of her family.
- DirectorBen VerbongStarsRenée SoutendijkPeter TuinmanLoes LucaThe story of Hannie Schaft of the Dutch resistance told in flashbacks how she tries to bring collaborators and criminals to justice in 1945.
- DirectorPeter GreenawayStarsJulia OrmondRalph FiennesPhilip StonePlagued with infertility, the inhabitants of Mâcon are naturally involved in the spectacle that is a masque about the miracle child born to a virgin mother.
- DirectorJean van de VeldeStarsPeter Paul MullerAntoinette LouwJosé DomingosIn apartheid-ruled South Africa, a renowned lawyer struggles to hide his secret affiliation to the nation's chief resistance movement - as he takes on defending a group of its arrested members, including its leader, Nelson Mandela.
- DirectorJim TaihuttuStarsMarwan KenzariChems Eddine AmarSteef CuijpersA promising kickboxer struggles to resist the temptations of a life of crime.
- DirectorRoeland KerboschStarsMaarten SmitAndrew KelleyJeroen KrabbéSet in The Netherlands at the end of WW II, this touching story, told in flashbacks, explores the complex and romantic relationship between an adult soldier and a displaced, lonely adolescent boy.
- DirectorBoudewijn KooleStarsRick LensLoek PetersCahit ÖlmezA young boy and his father have a difficult relationship, but are trying to reach each other. They need a catalyst to make that happen.
- DirectorUrszula AntoniakStarsLotte VerbeekStephen ReaTom CharlfaAlone in her empty flat, from her window Anne observes the people passing by who nervously snatch up the personal belongings and pieces of furniture she has put out on the pavement. Her final gesture of taking a ring off her finger signals she is leaving her previous life in Holland behind. She goes to Ireland, where she chooses to lead a solitary, wandering existence, striding through the austere landscapes of Connemara. During her travels, she discovers a house that is home to a hermit, Martin.
- DirectorPieter KuijpersStarsTheo MaassenLisa SmitBob SchwarzeA man convicted of killing his own father and sister escapes from a criminal hospital to track down his mother and prove his innocence.
- DirectorRita HorstStarsMonique van de VenJohan LeysenOttolien BoeschotenAnne and Matthijs learn that their unborn child won't survive for long.
- DirectorDiederik Van RooijenStarsBarry AtsmaSusan VisserRoos DickmannA young Dutch couple vacationing in Argentina unwittingly witness a murder and end up going on the run from the perpetrator, who just happens to be a cop.
- CreatorFranky RibbensStarsMarcel HensemaKim van KootenMartijn LakemeierForensic psychiatrist Fokke Augustinus makes an unexpected career change when he inherits his father's mansion in Groningen where he becomes involved with a criminal organization with a marijuana plantation on his father's land.
- DirectorDiederik Van RooijenStarsJavier GuzmanThijs RömerTeun KuilboerDutch working mother, Stella, was supportive of international mission in Uruzgan, even if that meant missing her husband Jurre for months. After her brother is killed in action there, nothing can return life to normality, not even the return home of her military husband, Jurre. Flash-backs from a trial nine months later show the tragic developments.
- DirectorJeroen KrabbéStarsLaura FraserAdam MontyIsabella RosselliniAgainst a background of holocaust memories, a liberal Jewish girl becomes a nanny to a young Jewish boy with a disability and grows fond of him.
- DirectorCarlos da SilvaGeorge SluizerStarsDiogo InfanteMaria d'AiresHuub StapelA Portuguese immigrant in Holland dies in an accident and is buried in a cemetery in Amsterdam. Soon he discovers that his soul won't rest in peace until his body is laying down in his fatherland. This way he decides to go to Portugal to convince his sister to travel to Amsterdam and bring back his body. The only problem is that the only way for him to be seen or heard by the living is appearing in their dreams.
- DirectorPieter VerhoeffStarsMonic HendrickxJeroen WillemsPeter TuinmanFrisian-spoken costume drama about the turbulent marriage between a writer and a socialist politician.
- DirectorMichael Dudok de WitStarsJames LauferA father says goodbye to his young daughter. Time passes and the daughter moves through life age by age, but within her there is always a deep longing for her father.
- DirectorPaula van der OestStarsCarice van HoutenLiam CunninghamRutger HauerIn Apartheid-torn South Africa, poet Ingrid Jonker (Carice van Houten) struggles tragically in search of love and a sense of home.
- DirectorVictor D. PontenJim TaihuttuStarsNasrdin DcharAchmed AkkabiMarwan KenzariThree friends drive from Holland to Morocco to deliver a taxi to a family friend, but the trip turns out more complicated than expected.
- DirectorPeter BrosensJessica WoodworthStarsPeter Van den BeginLucie DebayTitus De VoogdtDesperate to return home from a state visit to Istanbul when his country suffers its worst-ever political crisis, but unable to fly due to a solar storm, the King of the Belgians finds himself on a tumultuous road trip across the Balkans.
- DirectorAnthony FabianStarsSophie OkonedoSam NeillAlice KrigeBased on the true story of a black girl who was born to two white Afrikaner parents in South Africa during the apartheid era.
- DirectorPaula van der OestStarsManon AlvingCheryl AshrufAli Ben HorstingBookkeeper Jacob newest client is the talented and flamboyant actress Anne. They first meet each other on her houseboat, the morning after the premiere of Anne's new theatrical play. Jacob soon discovers that Anne has made a mess of her personal finances and that she has several debts. She may even have to sell her houseboat. Anne gets into a blind panic as she definitely has no intention to sell the boat where she has so many memories. Jacob becomes fascinated about Anne's world and is not concerned anymore with his own personal life and wife. Anne is trying to get money and is convinced that Jacob can save her financial mess. Despite Anne's plans and efforts, the boat must be sold by auction. During the evening of the auction, Anne has organized a big good-bye dinner and has invited all her colleagues and friend on the boat. When Jacob is about to inform Anne about how he wants to save Anne's houseboat (he has bought it himself for her), she comes up with a totally different plan..
- DirectorSam de JongStarsAyoub ElasriJorik ScholtenAchraf MezianiA troubled teenager attempts to conquer the love of his life by becoming the baddest boy on the block.
- DirectorAntoinette BeumerStarsLies VisschedijkFedja van HuêtDan KaratySoof is reaching 40 and has everything she ever wanted: three children, a small catering business, a sweet husband Kasper, and a lovely home. Until she starts asking herself: 'Is this all there is?'