A terrible end to good careers
Some of the best directors, producers, actors and actresses of our time (and previous generations) have ended their careers on some VERY low notes. This is a collection of not good movies featuring the final performances of some not bad actors and actresses. (Yes... I know DeNiro and Pacino are still alive but I am seeing into the future and... oops!)
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- DirectorSteven E. de SouzaStarsJean-Claude Van DammeRaul JuliaMing-Na WenIn the midst of a civil war in South East Asia, a general intensifies the climate of violence by kidnapping 63 UN delegates. To free the hostages, a colonel leads a group of fighters, who will have to use all their skills to be successful.Raul Julia's last performance as he was dying of stomach cancer.
- DirectorNelson ShinStarsOrson WellesRobert StackLeonard NimoyThe Autobots must stop a colossal planet consuming robot who goes after the Autobot Matrix of Leadership. At the same time, they must defend themselves against an all-out attack from the Decepticons.Orson Welles... from Kane to Unicron
- DirectorRaja GosnellStarsNeil Patrick HarrisJayma MaysKaty PerryThe Smurfs team up with their human friends to rescue Smurfette, who has been abducted by Gargamel, since she knows a secret spell that can turn the evil sorcerer's newest creation, creatures called "The Naughties", into real Smurfs.Jonathan Winters voiced Papa Smurf in these not-so-smurfy movies.
- DirectorDylan BankStarsRobert LoggiaCharles DurningTony ToddAn undercover journalist travels to small-town Mansionville attempting to expose its dark secrets. He quickly discovers the town is home to a cult of five twisted sisters that capture men for a sadistic yearly ritual.Charles Durning plays Santa Claus in what promises to be a movie that should be exiled to the Island of Misfit Toys.
- DirectorChristopher GuestStarsChris FarleyMatthew PerryBokeem WoodbineTwo bumbling explorers hope to beat Lewis & Clarke to the Pacific Ocean as they race across America's western frontier in the early 1800's.Chris Farley's final role... Sad!
- DirectorPeter MarkleStarsJohn CandyJoe BaysAbraham BenrubiIn the 1860s Wild West, a ragged bunch of misfit settlers decides they cannot stand living in their current situation and they hire a grizzled cowboy to take them on a journey back East to their hometowns.John Candy died during production but they went ahead and tried to piece it together without him. Never heard of this movie? You're not alone.
- DirectorStephen NorringtonStarsSean ConneryStuart TownsendPeta WilsonIn an alternate Victorian Age world, a group of famous contemporary fantasy, science fiction, and adventure characters team up on a secret mission.Sean Connery isn't dead but he hasn't been in a major motion picture since TLOEG's release. (Y'know he turned down the role of Gandalf in LOTR? No... Really... Look it up!)
- DirectorRobert ClouseBruce LeeStarsBruce LeeGig YoungDean JaggerA martial arts movie star must fake his death to find the people who are trying to kill him.They used a cardboard cutout of Bruce Lee to complete shooting. What a mess.
- DirectorOtto PremingerStarsJackie GleasonCarol ChanningFrankie AvalonInfamous psychedelic all-star comedy about ex-gangster Tony Banks, who's called out of retirement by mob kingpin God to carry out a hit on fellow mobster "Blue Chips" Packard. When Banks demurs, God kidnaps his daughter Darlene on his luxury yacht.Groucho Marx plays God in his final role. Jackie Gleason freaks out on acid... No hilarity ensues.
- DirectorKen HughesStarsMae WestTimothy DaltonDom DeLuiseOn the day of her wedding to her sixth husband, a glamorous silver screen sex symbol is asked to intervene in a political dispute between nations, which leads to chaos.Mae West was suffering front dementia and partially blind at 83. Who thought this was a good idea?
- DirectorFreddie FrancisStarsJoan CrawfordMichael GoughBernard KayA sympathetic anthropologist uses drugs and surgery to try to communicate with a primitive troglodyte who is found living in a local cave.Joan Crawford went from Oscar to B-movie hack. Acting career in reverse.
- DirectorPaul BolgerYvette KaplanGreg TiernanStarsSigourney WeaverSarah Michelle GellarPatrick WarburtonAn alliance of evil-doers, led by Frieda, looks to take over Fairy Tale Land. But when Ella realizes her stepmother is out to ruin her storybook existence, she takes a dramatic turn and blossoms into the leader of the resistance effort.George Carlin deserved better!
- DirectorEdward D. Wood Jr.StarsGregory WalcottTom KeeneMona McKinnonEvil aliens attack Earth and set their terrible "Plan 9" into action. As the aliens resurrect the dead of the Earth, the lives of the living are in danger.Famously tragic last movie for Bella Lugosi at the hands of Ed Wood.
- DirectorRobert GreenwaldStarsOlivia Newton-JohnGene KellyMichael BeckA struggling artist living in Los Angeles meets a girl who may hold the key to his happiness.Gene Kelly?! Why?!
- DirectorBrad F. GrinterStarsVeronica LakePhil PhilbinDoug FosterA ring of Nazis in Florida are in possession of the body of Adolf Hitler, and plan to revive him so they can take over the world.Veronica Lake didn't age gracefully and ended her career with a clumsy maggot filled horror flick.
- DirectorBrian LevantStarsJohn GoodmanRick MoranisRosie O'DonnellIn a parallel modern-day Stone Age world, a working-class family, the Flintstones, are set up for an executive job. But they learn that money can't buy happiness.Elizabeth Taylor received a Razzie nomination for worst supporting actress for her role in this Flintstones flop. Ugg!
- DirectorJohn G. AvildsenStarsJohn BelushiDan AykroydKathryn WalkerA quiet man's peaceful suburban lifestyle is threatened by the new, obnoxious couple that moves in next door.Arguably an okay movie but still an unfortunate endings for John Belushi... No?
- DirectorElia PetridisStarsErnest BorgnineBarry CorbinCarla OrtizErnest Borgnine plays Rex Page, an old man who is bitter about never becoming famous and having lived a life without any meaning. After suffering a stroke, he ends up in a nursing home staffed by Latin American immigrants. Put off by the situation, Rex focuses his energy on getting out, which places him at odds with the Latino workers. However, their relationship takes on new meaning when it is discovered that he once shook hands with Vicente Fernandez, a Mexican singer, producer and actor idolized throughout Latin culture. The employees soon begin to treat Rex like the celebrity he's always dreamed of being.95 years old with a rich and accomplished career and Ernest Borgnine finishes with a fizzle.
- DirectorPhil NibbelinkSimon WellsStarsJames StewartJohn CleeseAmy IrvingFievel's family decides to move out to the West, unaware that they are falling into a trap perpetrated by a smooth-talking cat.Jimmy Stewart voices dog sherif Wylie Burp. 'Nuff Said.
- DirectorA. Dean BellStarsJosh MosbyRobert MitchumKathy IrelandJust as Jeremy Jackson attempts to become the first male firewoman in New York, fires begin mysteriously erupting from toilets all over the City and Fire Marshal Marc Marshall is called in to investigate. From the start, Jeremy is heckled and sexually harassed by his tough as nails female cohorts including his instructor, the hard-boiled Lt. Shithouse. Jessica Luvintryst, Jeremy's old flame and the Mayor's very personal assistant, rekindles the fire in his eyes and between his thighs. Jeremy discovers trace jet fuel at the fire sites and soon becomes hot on the trail of The Most Evil Man and his diabolical scheme. In the tradition of Naked Gun, Backfire spoofs Backdraft.Telly Sevalas stars as a toilet bomber alongside Robert Mitchum, Edie Falco, and Kathy Ireland.
- DirectorDonald PetrieStarsGene HackmanRay RomanoMaura TierneyA US president who has retired after two terms in office returns to his hometown of Mooseport, Maine and decides to run for Mayor against another local candidate.Granted, this may not be Hackman's last movie? He is 85 and reportedly healthy but hasn't done a movie since Mooseport. He has said he will not be coming out of retirement. So I guess this is it?