2023 Movies Ranked
New list, new year. Passed my goal to break 50 films seen this year, huzzah. Still far below the 100+ I'd see in the mid 2010s though. Films 1-14 are worth remembering as of now, 15-21 are decent.
Update: Hit 50 films 9/23, Passed 70 in December
To See:
The Marvels (do i have to?)
Saltburn
The Shift
Poor Things
Watched: The Killer - 7/10
Update: Hit 50 films 9/23, Passed 70 in December
To See:
The Marvels (do i have to?)
Saltburn
The Shift
Poor Things
Watched: The Killer - 7/10
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78 titles
- DirectorChad StahelskiStarsKeanu ReevesLaurence FishburneGeorge GeorgiouJohn Wick uncovers a path to defeating The High Table. But before he can earn his freedom, Wick must face off against a new enemy with powerful alliances across the globe and forces that turn old friends into foes.9/10, I can get this to a 9 I think, on par with the original John Wick. This is definitely a shut your brain off film like all the others. Yes, its incredibly unrealistic and John Wick has some incredible damage resistance but the film is just so cool that I can't get myself to care all that much. The film did feel a tad too long, could have cut back on a few of the faceless baddies in the fight scenes, there does come a point where you want John to advance on his quest. The character of Donnie Yen bit inconsistent, using tools to fight while being blind and then later fighting as if he could see but I'll let it go. Everything just feels so awesome how could I not love it?
- DirectorJoaquim Dos SantosKemp PowersJustin K. ThompsonStarsShameik MooreHailee SteinfeldBrian Tyree HenryMiles Morales catapults across the multiverse, where he encounters a team of Spider-People charged with protecting its very existence. When the heroes clash on how to handle a new threat, Miles must redefine what it means to be a hero.9/10. Miles and Gwen are back and I love how their characters are developed and the relationship with their families. The supporting characters outside of Peter Parker less so, stuck in a pregnant woman for... reasons? Women who are preggers need to be represented fighting? Okaaay. The story is gripping and takes a joke character in Spot to something quite threatening.
The story is a bit long admittedly and there is a bit current year social garbage in the background but it was never explicit so I can ignore. Overall I think I like this more than the first Spider-verse, really hoping when Part 2 comes out that the writers don't drop the ball. - DirectorTakashi YamazakiStarsRyunosuke KamikiMinami HamabeSakura AndôPost war Japan is at its lowest point when a new crisis emerges in the form of a giant monster, baptized in the horrific power of the atomic bomb.9/10, this monster film was fantastic. Great Godzilla sequences and characters that you actually care about. This film has a heart at its core and with the thrills are tears as well as hope. Amazing.
- DirectorSam HargraveStarsChris HemsworthGolshifteh FarahaniAdam BessaAfter barely surviving his grievous wounds from his mission in Dhaka, Bangladesh, Tyler Rake is back, and his team is ready to take on their next mission.9/10, This sequel tops the first imo. Film has a straightforward story in rescuing a family from a prison with fantastic action sequences and throwing in just enough heart to give Chris Hemsworth some character moments. Great time watching.
- DirectorAaron HorvathMichael JelenicPierre LeducStarsChris PrattAnya Taylor-JoyCharlie DayA plumber named Mario travels through an underground labyrinth with his brother Luigi, trying to save a captured princess.8/10, I had a smile on my face what else can I say? The game references were built around a strong enough story to hold the entire thing together. Film did what needed to be done and hope it makes tons of money.
- DirectorElizabeth BanksStarsKeri RussellAlden EhrenreichO'Shea Jackson Jr.An oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists and teens converge on a Georgia forest where a huge black bear goes on a murderous rampage after unintentionally ingesting cocaine.8/10. Is this a "good" movie? No. However this is a rare occasion for me where the silliness worked. I mean its a bear high on cocaine. This could have been a trainwreck but it was actually amusing and the fun outpaced the times when the cheese got a little strong. Enjoyed this in the theater.
- DirectorChristopher McQuarrieStarsTom CruiseHayley AtwellVing RhamesEthan Hunt and his IMF team must track down a dangerous weapon before it falls into the wrong hands.8/10, Got to admit, while I like this film I just can't love it like I did the last few MI films, the overall plot was sillier than I could tolerate and the new woman thief was used for comedy and nonsense that I simply didn't enjoy all that much. The third act was pure Tom Cruise awesomeness though and helped keep this film from dropping into mediocrity. I think 8/10 is a good rating from me.
- DirectorChristopher NolanStarsCillian MurphyEmily BluntMatt DamonThe story of American scientist J. Robert Oppenheimer and his role in the development of the atomic bomb.8/10, Fantastic portrayal of Robert Oppenheimer, with some interesting editing mixed in to really give the man a nuanced look into him creating the most dangerous weapon ever. Doesn't appear to take any sides into the morality of using in at the end of the war but does go over the consequences of it. Given its length and that its pure character study I don't see this as a rewatchable film but it was one of my favorite theater experiences so far this year.
- DirectorMartin ScorseseStarsLeonardo DiCaprioRobert De NiroLily GladstoneWhen oil is discovered in 1920s Oklahoma under Osage Nation land, the Osage people are murdered one by one - until the FBI steps in to unravel the mystery.8/10
- DirectorAlejandro MonteverdeStarsJim CaviezelMira SorvinoBill CampThe incredible true story of a former government agent turned vigilante who embarks on a dangerous mission to rescue hundreds of children from traffickers.8/10, I'll be honest in that while this is certainly a more "important" film and a "better" film than titles I have rated higher than this but I simply can't put this on top as i just can't see myself ever wanting to rewatch. The subject is disturbing to say the least and not entertaining as a film would normally be. Therefore I'll rate this high but not in "best" territory. All that said this is something everyone should see, get properly sad and infuriated at the same time.
- DirectorGuy RitchieStarsJake GyllenhaalDar SalimSean SagarDuring the war in Afghanistan, a local interpreter risks his own life to carry an injured sergeant across miles of grueling terrain.8.0/10, Not much to say here, story serviceable if perhaps idealistic (i hope not) but left me quite irritated in remembering how the US screwed over the interpreters in Afghanistan. Screwed over the whole country really when abandoned to the Taliban.
- DirectorGerard JohnstoneStarsAllison WilliamsViolet McGrawRonny ChiengA robotics engineer at a toy company builds a life-like doll that begins to take on a life of its own.7/10, can't quite get to an 8 but this was still an entertaining watch with some interesting themes, like being a parent instead of fobbing you child off on tech to raise the kid for you, ha. I know the robot is supposed to be the evil one but a sympathetic villain is best I can describe 'her' if not outright wanting to support her.
- DirectorJames GunnStarsChris PrattChukwudi IwujiBradley CooperStill reeling from the loss of Gamora, Peter Quill rallies his team to defend the universe and one of their own - a mission that could mean the end of the Guardians if not successful.7/10, Well this was a surprise. Disney/Marvel actually managed to make a decent film post Endgame, never thought it would happen again. While the film is a bit darker than previous entries it wasn't as bad as the rumors suggested, the tone worked just fine with me. Rockets past is what this movie revolves around and it and the villain who is the cause of it played the part well. The Guardians as a whole had the same chemistry, Nebula added and Gamora with her missing memory. Kirk from Gilmore Girls had a mini arc of his own that was obvious where it would lead to and got a shrug from me. I will say that some of the scenes with running gags were rather painful to sit through. Overall a fun enough film that feels even better given the garbage coming from Disney lately.
- DirectorJalmari HelanderStarsJorma TommilaAksel HennieJack DoolanWhen an ex-soldier who discovers gold in the Lapland wilderness tries to take the loot into the city, German soldiers led by a brutal SS officer battle him.7/10, this film is pretty straightforward, man digs up gold, runs into Nazis, Nazis steal his gold, man kills Nazis to get gold back. Man gets beat up and survives, Nazis die in various graphic ways. You will need to turn your brain off while this is happening, the film gets more and more silly as it goes, he does and survives things that is absurd and Sisu ends up like a poorer version of John Wick only with more straightforward violence instead of gun-fu.
- DirectorTomohisa TaguchiStarsOji SuzukaMarie IitoyoTasuku HatanakaIn a sleepy country town, a traumatized boy and a transfer student from Tokyo stumble upon a time-bending tunnel that may grant them their every wish.7/10, I found the movie to be beautiful to look at, had a good soundtrack and had a great concept that I feel was fumbled in making the film so short. There wasn't enough time to get me to care about this couple. I also find it doubtful that a grown woman would still be so attached to a month long teenage romance but it being fiction I can give this more of a pass.
This film could have been a masterpiece if it was longer to give more time to these characters but as it is the film is merely "good". - DirectorDavid FincherStarsMichael FassbenderTilda SwintonCharles ParnellAfter a fateful near-miss, an assassin battles his employers and himself, on an international manhunt he insists isn't personal.7/10, For the bursts of violence its a rather quiet film, Michael Fassbender going after those responsible for hurting his girlfriend after an assassination goes sideways. A one time watch but an interesting one, Fassbenders mental dialogue main way of moving plot along.
- DirectorBen AffleckStarsMatt DamonJason BatemanBen AffleckFollows the history of sports marketing executive Sonny Vaccaro, and how he led Nike in its pursuit of the greatest athlete in the history of basketball, Michael Jordan.7/10, Completely serviceable story, Nike creating a product around Michael Jordan and helping make him even richer than he would have already been. Making themselves tons of money too of course. Was humorous which would be needed around the creation of a shoe. Sure its basically kissing the butt of a huge corporation exploiting its workers in Asia (which it even mentions in in offhand way) but isn't it great they shared their profits with Michael? Isn't it?
- DirectorAndré ØvredalStarsCorey HawkinsAisling FranciosiLiam CunninghamA crew sailing from Varna (Bulgaria) by the Black Sea to England find that they are carrying very dangerous cargo.7/10, I think this film was a bit too long, made it drag but I had fun with this, a decent vampire flick and it taking place on a ship added an interesting flavor to it.
- DirectorCord JeffersonStarsJeffrey WrightTracee Ellis RossJohn OrtizA novelist who's fed up with the establishment profiting from Black entertainment uses a pen name to write a book that propels him into the heart of the hypocrisy and madness he claims to disdain.7/10, Had some interesting ideas here in regard of the marketing of "race issues" but I'm unsure of what conclusion the film is trying to make in the end. Are we meant to sympathize with Jeffry Wrights character? Most of the film says yes but toward the end it gets a bit nebulous. Decent watch.
- DirectorNeill BlomkampStarsDavid HarbourOrlando BloomArchie MadekweBased on the unbelievable, inspiring true story of a team of underdogs - a struggling, working-class gamer, a failed former race car driver, and an idealistic motorsport exec - who risk it all to take on the most elite sport in the world.7/10, I think this was a good theater film, the racing scenes went well on the big screen but I can't say that I loved the film as a whole, once the engines went silent, the people just couldn't keep up the energy. Decent film all the same but can't hold up to something like Rush.
- DirectorGareth EdwardsStarsJohn David WashingtonMadeleine Yuna VoylesGemma ChanAgainst the backdrop of a war between humans and robots with artificial intelligence, a former soldier finds the secret weapon, a robot in the form of a young child.7/10, i was hoping for a movie like Children of Men and didn't get that but at least it wasn't like Chappie. Felt more like action scenes strung together with thin plot of main character dragging along the AI girl with two factions wanting to have her for their own aims. Cared nothing about any of the characters though was amused that CJ joined the army after her job as press secretary for the Bartlett administration. Quite the career change! Nothing fleshed out that well and the conclusion while filled with action doesn't really resolve anything to me. Still a decent film to see in the theater though not one I think will ever be worth rewatching.
- DirectorGuy NattivStarsHelen MirrenZed JosefHenry GoodmanFocuses on the intensely dramatic and high-stakes responsibilities and decisions that Golda Meir, also known as the 'Iron Lady of Israel,' faced during the Yom Kippur War.7/10, I can't judge this for accuracy but the performances were solid and the storytelling done well. Am familiar enough with the Yom Kippur War in general terms that nothing really surprised but the little details were nice. Amusing to see all the 1 star ratings from Egyptians as well.
- DirectorSean DurkinStarsZac EfronJeremy Allen WhiteHarris DickinsonThe true story of the inseparable Von Erich brothers, who made history in the intensely competitive world of professional wrestling in the early 1980s.7/10, Perhaps it is because I'm not a big wrestling fan but I couldn't love this film as much as others. It was a fine watch but I simply couldn't attach myself to this family to really feel that strongly about their lives. Domineering and demanding father that got his sons into wrestling though unlike other films where this leads to greatness this relationship is more toxic and gives tragic results instead of triumphant ones. Unfortunately I felt distant from the drama so the emotion didn't land.
- DirectorAlexander PayneStarsPaul GiamattiDa'Vine Joy RandolphDominic SessaA cranky history teacher at a prep school is forced to remain on campus over the holidays with a grieving cook and a troubled student who has no place to go.7/10, Shades of Dead Poets Society here, I feel like this could have been much better and didn't quite land like it should have. The kids outside the main boy for instance got only cursory attention. Still was a good one time watch even if the script was stretching oh so far in order to reach for an Oscar.
- DirectorKenneth BranaghStarsKenneth BranaghMichelle YeohJamie DornanIn post-World War II Venice, Poirot, now retired and living in his own exile, reluctantly attends a seance. But when one of the guests is murdered, it is up to the former detective to once again uncover the killer.7/10, This was alright if silly with the pushing of the possibility of the haunting being legit. The story and then revelation as to what occurred rather convoluted as well. Rating might be a bit high in the end...
- DirectorPeter AtencioStarsBert KreischerMark HamillJimmy TatroBert's drunken past catches up with him 20 years down the road when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia.7.0/10. This film left me with mixed feelings. There were times I was highly entertained and others I just sighed or rolled my eyes. Definitely a cheeseball that one shouldn't think too much about. Some good humor some terrible humor. Very choreographed fight scenes that I did not buy at all. Turn the brain off and try to enjoy, things don't make sense but try to roll with it.
- DirectorChris McKayStarsNicholas HoultNicolas CageAwkwafinaRenfield, Dracula's tortured henchman, is forced to capture prey for his master and do his every bidding. But now, after centuries of servitude, Renfield is ready to see if there is a life outside his boss's shadow.6/10, When the action is going down it is fun enough and Nicholas Cage was a perfect choice for this character. Everything past this... ehhhhh. Renfield himself was passable but Awkafina and the dirty cops and mob guys just didn't work for me. One time watch.
- DirectorJean-François RichetStarsGerard ButlerMike ColterTony GoldwynA pilot finds himself caught in a war zone after he's forced to land his commercial aircraft during a terrible storm.6/10, This is a decent film, nothing special, nothing particularly memorable or offensive.
- DirectorStephen WilliamsStarsKelvin Harrison Jr.Samara WeavingLucy BoyntonSon of an African slave and a French farmer, Joseph Bologne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges, achieves an unthinkable position in society as a famous violinist, composer and fencer, in addition to experiencing an ill-fated love affair.6/10, Too much of a ho-hum docudrama that had too much of a modern feel to it given how the characters acted. Too surface level with both the people and the society behind France, lots of tell instead of show. Chevalier would have been better served as a miniseries instead of a film.
- DirectorMakoto ShinkaiStarsNanoka HaraHokuto MatsumuraEri FukatsuA modern action adventure road story where a 17-year-old girl named Suzume helps a mysterious young man close doors from the other side that are releasing disasters all over in Japan.6/10, Just to start off the animation of this film is truly spectacular. The best part of it for sure. The landscapes and the action sequences were entertaining (some of the action anyway). Makes sense from same director as Your Name and Weathering With You. Past that though I was quite let down. I found Suzume herself to be quite a brat whenever she receives pushback from her aunt but is supposed to be sympathetic given her backstory but it simply didn't fly with me. Her relationship with her adult co-star (22, 23?) was also more creepy to me than anything that would make me smile. Felt very shallow as well. The guy himself turns into a chair at the beginning as well and I felt the rest of the film involving him moving around as a childrens chair to be more stupid than funny.
There is complete trickery as well with one of the characters to make you think one thing about them than to throw down a reverse uno card and say "sucker!" Not a twist to mislead your audience like that, I simply felt nothing when the "twist" came regarding them. Other characters simply felt superfluous. The antagonistic force Suzume and Chair-Kun are up against also felt quite unclear to me, the rules seems wishy-washy. Movie was a miss for me. - DirectorJeff RoweKyler SpearsStarsMicah AbbeyShamon Brown Jr.Nicolas CantuThe Turtle brothers work to earn the love of New York City while facing down an army of mutants.6/10. Better than I was expecting if nothing special. Animation was where it was at and the dynamic between the Turtles was entertaining enough but I simply could not care that much about the story overall and April still feels like a middle finger to the fans. I did have some fun though so can give this passing grade.
- DirectorRidley ScottStarsJoaquin PhoenixVanessa KirbyTahar RahimAn epic that details the chequered rise and fall of French Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte and his relentless journey to power through the prism of his addictive, volatile relationship with his wife, Josephine.6/10, I was hoping this would be better but not surprised that is turned out to be only okay. This movie was too short to give the story of Napoleon a proper telling. Everything felt only surface level and skipped too much. Felt like a soap opera as well with his relationship with Josephine, too much time spent with her instead of with you know Napoleon and his battles. I hear there is a 4hr cut, will give that a try if its true and see if the added content makes this feel like an actual story instead of a few moments stitched together.
- DirectorMichael B. JordanStarsMichael B. JordanTessa ThompsonJonathan MajorsAdonis has been thriving in both his career and family life, but when a childhood friend and former boxing prodigy resurfaces, the face-off is more than just a fight.6/10. I have to wonder if there are any ideas left in this franchise. Other than cannibalizing previous Rocky films I can't see it. The rivalry between the two men here just felt completely flat to me and contrived. Manufactured tension transfers over to his family with an especially irritating one with his grandmother. Adonis can't express his emotions and needs to open up as well! The boxing itself was just not as impressive to me as in previous Rocky or Creed films with and annoying stylized sequence in the climactic fight. At this point I'm ready to end my time with Adonis and to move on to his deaf daughter when she premiers in female boxing (inevitable).
- DirectorBenjamin RennerGuylo HomsyStarsKumail NanjianiTresi GazalElizabeth BanksA family of ducks try to convince their overprotective father to go on the vacation of a lifetime.6/10, I think this is completely inoffensive animated film, nothing really annoyed me here but then nothing really impressed me either. I suppose parents can put this on for kids while doing something else.
- DirectorEmma TammiStarsJosh HutchersonPiper RubioElizabeth LailA troubled security guard begins working at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. During his first night on the job, he realizes that the night shift won't be so easy to get through. Pretty soon he will unveil what actually happened at Freddy's.6/10, The film had questionable acting and many plot holes but I got some mild entertainment out of it all the same, this coming from someone who has never played the games.
- DirectorCraig GillespieStarsPaul DanoPete DavidsonVincent D'OnofrioDavid vs. Goliath tale about everyday people who flipped the script on Wall Street and got rich by turning GameStop (the video-game store) into the world's hottest company.6/10, The story felt like something that wasn't able to be supported in a feature length film and the "comedy" really didn't work. Trying to get to the "youths" with the hip hop soundtrack and overall vibe. Characters would spout dialogue to each other that was clearly meant for the audience instead of each other. Maybe was trying for a Wolf of Wall Street kind of tone? Meh.
- DirectorMichael MannStarsAdam DriverShailene WoodleyGiuseppe FestineseSet in the summer of 1957, with Enzo Ferrari's auto empire in crisis, the ex-racer turned entrepreneur pushes himself and his drivers to the edge as they launch into the Mille Miglia, a treacherous 1,000-mile race across Italy.6/10, I was hoping for more about him creating cars and less about his personal life and the dram with his wife and mistress, of whether or not to legitimize his child with the mistress. Just didn't care. When final act came around I felt sadly nothing when the race should have got my heart pounding. Nope. Not terrible film, just forgettable.
- DirectorFrancis LawrenceStarsRachel ZeglerTom BlythViola DavisCoriolanus Snow mentors and develops feelings for the female District 12 tribute during the 10th Hunger Games.6/10, I thought this film would be garbage but turned out to be passable. If it wasn't for the cringe that was the games master and Rachel Zegler stopping the movie to sing half a dozen times I might have liked this more. I am a bit baffled at the conclusion of her and young Snows relationship too, seemed rather arbitrary. I could even ignore the moments thrown in there that just felt there the shock factor. It is a Hunger Games movie and a prequel at that so guess got to have it in there to keep peoples interest.
- DirectorJosh GreenbaumStarsWill FerrellJamie FoxxIsla FisherAn abandoned dog teams up with other strays to get revenge on his former owner.6/10, I was worried this film would send me fleeing the theater but it wasn't actually that terrible. There was quite a mixed bag in the quality of humor here, perhaps in equal amounts, from cringe to a few that actually got a snicker out of me. Don't watch if you don't like crude humor or have a love for rabbits...
- DirectorMatt JohnsonStarsJay BaruchelGlenn HowertonMatt JohnsonThe story of the meteoric rise and catastrophic demise of the world's first smartphone.6/10, After watching Air I can't help but find this to be a poor version even if the two aren't really all that similar I suppose. Still feel that way though, characters not as interesting, only kept my attention with the corporate guy yelling and swearing all the time, can't sleep with that going on.
- DirectorBobby FarrellyStarsWoody HarrelsonKaitlin OlsonMatt CookA former minor-league basketball coach is ordered by the court to manage a team of players with intellectual disabilities. He soon realizes that despite his doubts, together, this team can go further than they ever imagined.5/10, this can be defined as one of those forgettable throwaway films. Absolutely nothing to distinguish itself from others of its type. Jerk coach is forced by the court to do community service helping out a sports team. In the case of this film its a basketball team of mentally challenged adults. From here its the usual. Coach can't connect with the team at first. Through adventures manages to connect with team. Finds "romance". Come the third act turning point has falling out with team and romance. Finds he actually wants to stay with team and romance and "redeems" himself. The End. Details hardly matter really. I did chuckle a few times to the jokes but also cringed as often. Usually I stared blankly at the screen. Nothing to see here and I doubt many will see Champions. Anyone who doesn't see this won't be missing anything.
- DirectorJohn Francis DaleyJonathan GoldsteinStarsChris PineMichelle RodriguezRegé-Jean PageA charming thief and a band of unlikely adventurers embark on an epic quest to retrieve a lost relic, but things go dangerously awry when they run afoul of the wrong people.5/10, I feel like this film could have been so much better but so much just felt like a swing and a miss from character choices to the humor. Creators said they intentionally made the men as unmasculine as possible and they succeeded there. Movie tried to force feels out of me and failed hard. Ending "emotional" moment especially as how it would play out was telegraphed from the very beginning. Felt completely dead inside. Still had its fun moments so can't crap on it entirely. Got more fun out of it than Shazam or Ant-Man anyway.
- DirectorJustine TrietStarsSandra HüllerSwann ArlaudMilo Machado-GranerA woman is suspected of murder after her husband's death; their half-blind son faces a moral dilemma as the main witness.5/10, As this movie progressed I just felt increasingly bored with this too long film. Starts off with its intriguing premise but as it gets into the trial just felt like speculative wheel spinning and examination into their marriage without really making me think they were teasing the audience on whether or not she was actually guilty of killing her husband. Ending felt very anti-climatic, no emotional payoff at all. I suppose the fact I don't understand the French court system didn't help, everyone jumping in talking at random points with no seeming system felt quite baffling.
- DirectorGeorge Tillman Jr.StarsKhris DavisJasmine MathewsSullivan JonesFueled by an impoverished childhood, George Foreman channeled his anger into becoming an Olympic Gold medalist and World Heavyweight Champion, followed by a near-death experience that took him from the boxing ring to the pulpit.5/10, "Meh" is all I can say about this film. Nothing impressed, nothing got me emotional. It just felt surface level.
- DirectorMarc TurtletaubStarsBen KingsleyHarriet Sansom HarrisJane CurtinMilton lives a quiet life of routine in a small western Pennsylvania town, but finds his day upended when a UFO and its extra-terrestrial passenger crash land in his backyard.5/10, When I first walked out of the theater I had a bit better opinion of the film that while hardly what I'd call great, was still a film with an interesting attempt. The people interacting with the alien is not really what is important after all, the visitor from space just pushes the trio involved to examine themselves and admit the mistakes of their life and how unhappy they are. All well and good but I just couldn't love it. Then I realized on the way home that there were plotlines that weren't addressed at all, mainly the government agents and police who were also looking into the trio and the alien but Jules just ends with no resolution at all. Baffling.
- DirectorAngel Manuel SotoStarsXolo MaridueñaBruna MarquezineBecky GAn alien scarab chooses Jaime Reyes to be its symbiotic host, bestowing the recent college graduate with a suit of armor that's capable of extraordinary powers, forever changing his destiny as he becomes the superhero known as Blue Beetle.5/10, Better than it could have been I suppose, was merely a mediocre superhero film, stealing from its betters. Sure there were some bad jokes and bad eye rolling racism nonsense and calling Batman a fascist but overall Blue Beetle was simply forgettable in every way.
- DirectorWes AndersonStarsJason SchwartzmanScarlett JohanssonTom HanksFollowing a writer on his world famous fictional play about a grieving father who travels with his tech-obsessed family to small rural Asteroid City to compete in a junior stargazing event, only to have his world view disrupted forever.5/10, Now I see myself as a Wes Anderson fan, had four homeruns to me in has recent releases but unfortunately I can't see this as anything other than a groundout. His eccentric unique storytelling is something that usually works for me but I feel he went too far with the strangeness this time. Characters were unique as usual and would have worked better in a less messy and confusing story. With a baffling end as well. I found it hard to care anyway and was actually feeling bored around the mid point. I felt reminders of Royal Tennenbaums with the cast, in a less interesting film. Sadly I have to lowerWes Andersons batting average after seeing Asteroid City.
- DirectorHayao MiyazakiStarsSoma SantokiMasaki SudaKô ShibasakiIn the wake of his mother's death and his father's remarriage, a headstrong boy named Mahito ventures into a dreamlike world shared by both the living and the dead.5/10, I can't lie about this, as much as I want to love this latest Ghibli film I simply didn't. I was bored for most of it. I could not connect with the boy in film, he felt adrift from any emotion and I could not understand either his actions or the story that was presented, just felt dead inside and boredom quickly took over. The Heron wasn't even really a supporting character and was terrible morally though the film wanted me to feel some kind of redemption at the end? Nope. Concludes abruptly and not sure what lessons came from it. Was it all like a fever dream? Dunno and don't care. Not sure where to rank this exactly, give it a 5 given how dull it was but don't want to rank lower with actual garbage films...
- DirectorPeter SohnStarsLeah LewisMamoudou AthieRonnie Del CarmenFollows Ember and Wade, in a city where fire-, water-, earth- and air-residents live together.5/10, A dull outing from Pixar, or Disney really so I shouldn't be surprised that they have no talent any longer. Just a ripoff of Zootopia and some Inside Out and we get this forgettable film. Pathetic story on discrimination and two characters that shouldn't be together, "fire and water don't mix!" Of course in this case they aren't regular people but are made of of things that can literally kill each other so the metaphor falls flat. Much of the film has them afraid to touch each other, especially from the fire girl end, "we don't know what will happen!". Really? No fire and water people have ever touched each other in history? The four elemental "races" are all jammed together on the train! Absurd.
- DirectorRob MarshallStarsHalle BaileyJonah Hauer-KingMelissa McCarthyA young mermaid makes a deal with a sea witch to trade her beautiful voice for human legs so she can discover the world above water and impress a prince.5/10. This adaptation could have been worse, I guess that is praise of a sorts. Thing is that most of the parts taken from animation original was done better by the original and most of the added material was mediocre to utter crap. I am baffled why the Under the Sea scene was done so bad, when Sebastian sings about the creatures playing they aren't shown playing like in the original. Why? Just one example of twisting original material done poorly. For the new the music is... not good. Eric's song was bleh but my god Scuttle. Hearing Aquafina sing was torture, had to skip past it, the clip I saw of it didn't indicate how bad it really was. With the animation I got used to it, it was not believable and Disney sunk hundreds of millions into a film with bleh CGI but its their choice to continue making bad films.
- DirectorDavid F. SandbergStarsZachary LeviAsher AngelJack Dylan GrazerThe film continues the story of teenage Billy Batson who, upon reciting the magic word "SHAZAM!", is transformed into his adult superhero alter ego, Shazam.5/10, This is a mediocre superhero film, I guess DC can be satisfied with making something passable, I always expect a trainwreck with DC/Marvel films these past couple years. Everything felt a mixed bag, character moments had good points and stupid points, some humor hit (especially when that older titan sister was reading that letter) but most was just cringe. Some action was entertaining, others (mostly involving the monsters) was just CGI nonsense. Main conflict was passable though I couldn't buy the conflict between the sisters. Plenty of outright dumb elements like that dome which should have consequences that wasn't explored at all or the fact that a 6000yr old goddess I guess is going to date a 17yr old awkward teenage boy? Really? Movie is dumb but didn't hate myself watching it so 5 is a good place for it.
- DirectorWalt DohrnTim HeitzStarsAnna KendrickJustin TimberlakeKenan ThompsonPoppy discovers that Branch was once part of the boy band 'BroZone' with his brothers, Floyd, John Dory, Spruce and Clay. When Floyd is kidnapped, Branch and Poppy embark on a journey to reunite his two other brothers and rescue Floyd.5/10, Well this is like all the other Trolls films. Not any better or worse. In this one I guess the lesson is that if your family abandons you and then comes back 20 years later all is forgiven. The two orc things best part of film. "I didn't think we'd both be tied up on our honeymoon". Wow.
- DirectorJames WanStarsJason MomoaPatrick WilsonYahya Abdul-Mateen IIBlack Manta seeks revenge on Aquaman for his father's death. Wielding the Black Trident's power, he becomes a formidable foe. To defend Atlantis, Aquaman forges an alliance with his imprisoned brother. They must protect the kingdom.5/10, I found everything to be forgettable with bad CGI. Nothing outright offensive even if dumb at times so can't rate too low, definitely worse big budget films out there.
- DirectorBen WheatleyStarsJason StathamJing WuShuya Sophia CaiA research team encounters multiple threats while exploring the depths of the ocean, including a malevolent mining operation.5/10. The plot and character choices are idiotic.
The protagonists in this film because they wanted to explore a dangerous area caused the deaths of lots of people though this is of course never acknowledged by them. Before the action that caused the Megs to escape occurred one character did utter words that sums everything up though: "This is some dumbass sh*t, mark my words". Movie pointing out its own idiocy does not excuse it though, only makes it worse really. - DirectorJustin SimienStarsLaKeith StanfieldRosario DawsonOwen WilsonA single mom named Gabbie hires a tour guide, a psychic, a priest and a historian to help exorcise her newly bought mansion after discovering it is inhabited by ghosts.5/10. Meh. I found this to be dull overall, nothing really stood out or offended though some dialogue fell flat as well as the couple attempts to draw tears. Or maybe I just have a heart of stone? Don't know but its a silly film that I try not to think too hard on in its making sense but I guess will work for older kids who want some spooks though i don't know if even they will really find it "scary". Maybe its just supposed to be fun? Either way its no homerun that's for sure.
- DirectorJonathan SobolStarsHarvey KeitelRon PerlmanElias KoteasAn elderly baker must do everything he can to protect his granddaughter from gangsters.5/10, This is a lot like 65 to me in that it is so generic, derivative of previous films that are much better so rating similar to it. Didn't outright hate it but will in no way leave an impression. Biggest difference in this "seemingly ordinary guy actually a badass" film is that all the opponents didn't die. Reason for this did not feel earned at all but that's a generic film for ya.
- DirectorJohn WooStarsJoel KinnamanKid CudiHarold TorresA grieving father enacts his long-awaited revenge against a ruthless gang on Christmas Eve.5/10, The film has a gimmick where the protagonist can not speak and the rest of the cast does not speak either. This gimmick hardly holds the film together though. Was a frustrating and silly watch. Took too long to get to the revenging and the introduction of main villain was cringe with the focus on his tattoos. Was bothered that a man out for revenge from his son dying from stray bullet by guys in two cars shooting at each other would then take part in the exact action that caused his son to die. Absurd. Action over the top in John Wick inspired scenes, though not anywhere near as good of course. Disappointing.
- DirectorAntoine FuquaStarsDenzel WashingtonDakota FanningEugenio MastrandreaRobert McCall finds himself at home in Southern Italy but he discovers his friends are under the control of local crime bosses. As events turn deadly, McCall knows what he has to do: become his friends' protector by taking on the mafia.5/10. You know if this stuck as a simple mafia story it would have been better. Tying in the CIA, drugs and bombs with terrorists was really unnecessary. Didn't affect the main plot anyway. That lady CIA agent was among the cringiest things I've seen, her dialogue was absurd. Saying random spy things that just felt like something from a bad cosplayer. Completely worthless, everything she did was fed to her by Denzel. His stuff was passable like him in previous two films was passable.
- DirectorKristoffer BorgliStarsLily BirdNicolas CageJulianne NicholsonAn ordinary family man finds his life turned upside down when strangers suddenly start seeing him in their dreams.5/10, Low 5 for me, not sure where to place exactly. Nothing is really explained here, just a pathetic man who people start dreaming about and his pathetic reactions when he gets famous. Was bored throughout.
- DirectorNimród AntalStarsLiam NeesonNoma DumezweniLilly AspellA bank executive receives a bomb threat while driving his children to school that his car will explode if they stop and get out.5/10. Nonsensical but I honestly couldn't hate it. Completely forgettable though, better than seeing many of the big budget films of this year.
- DirectorPierre MorelStarsJohn CenaAlison BrieJuan Pablo RabaAn ex-special forces operative takes a job to provide security for a journalist as she interviews a dictator, but when a military coup breaks out in the middle of the interview, they are forced to escape into the jungle.5/10, well this was stupid. Whole film was absurd by the actions of everyone involved and the stupid messaging of how evil corporations are and how dictators can have hearts of gold. Brain deadening gun fights made this semi-tolerable.
- DirectorScott BeckBryan WoodsStarsAdam DriverAriana GreenblattChloe ColemanAn astronaut crash lands on a mysterious planet only to discover he's not alone.5/10. This is basically After Earth with better acting and not quite as dumb. Just as dull though. Amazing how many bad CGI dinosaur predator things there are, how can there be any prey left with the sheer number of the things leaping at you every moment. Character development between Adam Driver and the girl very stiff, the film making the choice to have her not speak English did not help. I suspect 65 was going for a developing foster parent-child relationship but given the language barrier, awkward transitions from scene to scene and then the abrupt end of the film I just didn't buy it. A forgettable nothing of a film.
- DirectorRic Roman WaughStarsTom Rhys HarriesFarhad BagheriGerard ButlerA CIA operative and his translator flee from special forces in Afghanistan after exposing a covert mission.5/10, The main sin of this film is that it was so boring. Felt very formulaic, paint by numbers. Cared nothing about the few action scenes as I cared nothing about the characters. Had a similar storyline to that of The Covenant and that was a much better film. Has a more negative viewpoint of the US as well which didn't help. Not surprised Kandahar didn't work, this is a Gerard Butler film after all, generic action flicks are his bread and butter.
- DirectorJeff CelentanoStarsDennis QuaidColin FordJoelle CarterThe true story of Rickey Hill, the son of a travelling pastor who overcomes physical obstacles to pursue his dream of playing baseball in the major leagues.5/10, Was wondering if should even rate this as I walked out of theater 30min or so in, was bored and couldn't stand the preaching. I didn't realize this was a faith based film after all. Wanted to see a kid learn baseball and got bible stuff instead, bleh.
- DirectorMatt AngelSuzanne CooteStarsLulu WilsonSeann William ScottDenise BurseTwo years after escaping a violent attack, a teenage girl must defend herself against a domestic terrorist cell.4/10, Its a discount John Wick with a teenage girl instead of Keanu Reeves. Not only a bad clone but had cringe modern day messaging in it. The men Becky is fighting belong to a group called "Noble Men", I wonder if they are a take on a real world organization? Pfft. Its an absurd movie, the violence is fun enough in a grisly way but everything around the killing is just so bad I couldn't enjoy it all that much.
- DirectorTaika WaititiStarsMichael FassbenderOscar KightleyKaimanaThe story of the infamously terrible American Samoa soccer team, known for a brutal 2001 FIFA match they lost 31-0.4/10, Take the generic formula of a failure of a coach with tragedy in his past who has one last chance and a team of misfits who no one believes in. Throw in bad Taika Waititi humor and cringe modern social justice stuff and what results is a derivative fart of a film.
- DirectorTim BrownStarsNicolas CageAshley GreeneThalia CampbellWhen Ashley and her young daughter Sarah get caught up in a criminal enterprise that puts their lives at risk, she turns to estranged father Matt, currently living the life of a retired beach bum in the Cayman Islands.4/10, Yet another unsuspecting man being an assassin film. Poorly done as well, a truly stupid film full of stupid people doing stupid things.
- DirectorKirk DeMiccoFaryn PearlStarsJane FondaLana CondorToni ColletteA shy adolescent learns that she comes from a fabled royal family of legendary sea krakens and that her destiny lies in the depths of the waters, which is bigger than she could have ever imagined.4/10, I didn't know it was possible to make a film so dull, so cliche, so full of modern bullcrap. Elemental may have been a disappointing nothing but this animated film was just BORING.
- DirectorCatherine HardwickeStarsBrian CoxSteven LittlesKate BeckinsaleA father fights for the love of his daughter and grandson, after serving twelve years in prison.4/10, I was going to give this film a 6 in a barely passing way after the first act but Prisoner's Daughter quickly fell apart after this and I simply cannot claim to have enjoyed this film at all. Very melodramatic and the situations became absurd and wasn't helped with questionable acting from some of the cast. Story felt like was patched together from better films like Sling Blade and Gran Torino as I watched it play out. Dialogue could be cringe and very on the nose especially when spouted from the son in the film. The problem with the ex-husband was something that wasn't even attempted to be tried to be solved with the police, I guess might solve issue too fast, wouldn't get dramatic end.
- DirectorGreta GerwigStarsMargot RobbieRyan GoslingIssa RaeBarbie and Ken are having the time of their lives in the colorful and seemingly perfect world of Barbie Land. However, when they get a chance to go to the real world, they soon discover the joys and perils of living among humans.4/10, Saw this movie in its second weekend in theater so have already heard much of it and it certainly delivered for whatever the politics of the viewer has. As it happens it doesn't line with mine so it became quite a distasteful watch by the third act. To start positive, the film looked great and Ryan Gosling was the best Barbie offered, certainly was the most interesting. It began well, everything in the "Barbie World" was actually pretty decent, it wasn't until Barbie and Ken arrive in the real world that the propaganda started to show itself. Even then there was enough for me to go along with it, even with the stupid patriarchy nonsense. Ken affecting Barbieland was amusing, especially imaging what insecurities Greta Gerwig must have. However once that stupid monologue is made about how tough women have it that kicks off the climax this film nosedived and crashed in a fiery wreck. Had this taken a less disgusting turn I might have found Barbie to be mildly acceptable but alas, it went full stupid.
Can laugh at its stupid feminism though so preferable to something like The Flash so will rank a little higher than other bad films. - DirectorAndy MuschiettiStarsEzra MillerMichael KeatonSasha CalleBarry Allen uses his super speed to change the past, but his attempt to save his family creates a world without super heroes, forcing him to race for his life in order to save the future.4/10, The Flash was going to be a more ordinary bad but the ending sealed the deal as I was incredibly irritated. Very unsatisfying and I felt as it was all pointless. (DC universe being rebooted so it was pointless) The whole concept the writers decided to make regarding time travel was stupid anyway explained with that spaghetti analogy. Ugh. Ezra Miller was annoying as expected and doubly so as there were two of them. Michael Keaton was as expected the best part of the film though of course the writers had to "deconstruct" him by having him be a pathetic mess when first introduced, can't give him any respect or be married to Catwoman or anyone after all. Kara was fine as well especially when these two are compared with The Flash who had zero charisma.
- DirectorSteven Caple Jr.StarsAnthony RamosDominique FishbackLuna Lauren VelezDuring the '90s, a new faction of Transformers - the Maximals - join the Autobots as allies in the battle for Earth.4/10, I debated if I disliked this or The Flash more but decided that the acting and "humor" of Transformers was worse so deserves a lower spot on this list. The robots being based on a kids show no doubt explains the over the top declaring statements, threats, credos as kids need the obvious, no nuance wanted. I feel like was especially bad in this film compared to the previous in the series but the lack of the extremely cringe jokes from the Michael Bay films make it an improvement. Humor still poor but not horrendous. Wasn't impressed with the acting of either of the humans (who of course are forced to have a use) especially the female half, really helped remind me the level that these films continue to provide on that front, as low as possible. I suppose I can pat this film on the head as not being the absolute worst, best of the bad. Original Transformers and Bumblebee were alright so this will be ranked third though given its low rating I don't think it says much.
- DirectorRobert RodriguezStarsBen AffleckAlice BragaJD PardoA detective investigates a mystery involving his missing daughter and a secret government program.4/10. Eyes want to glaze over when watching and when attention returns I find what I'm seeing to be stupid.
- DirectorJames MangoldStarsHarrison FordPhoebe Waller-BridgeAntonio BanderasArchaeologist Indiana Jones races against time to retrieve a legendary artifact that can change the course of history.4.0/10, this film only gets a rating this high because of the opening sequence with younger Indy. After this happens and it cuts to 1969 everything is just terrible. Phoebe-Waller Bridge and her character is as disgusting as I've heard. An absolutely terrible person, selfish and greedy, treacherous, nasty and sarcastic. Joking after the death of a friend of Indy. Despicable all around and yet when the conclusion comes around we are expected to think she was good all along and just lying to herself on her motivations. This person who left Indy to be charged with murder, almost got him killed a few times as well. Did I mention she is a garbage person, yet its played off for laughs?
She has a sidekick in a magic brown boy who can do anything, even fly a plane when he has never flown before. Amazing! Villain was pathetic, not even Mads Mikkelsen could save the simple incompetence. Story all around was dull, I don't fall asleep in the theater but oh was this film attempting to be the first. Messy too, plot progresses foolishly and dumb decisions galore. They find a new passage in an already explored cave by... looking up. They cross a wooden bridge made 2000 yrs ago and it hasn't rotted. Of course they did. Characters teleport in CGI chase sequences, felt nothing at all. Don't expect the kind of excitement that comes from Indy hanging on the tank in Last Crusade. Hard to feel anything at all. Whole script has stupid conveniences but especially the third act and I could only stare blankly at what was happening on screen. Plus Indy being involved was completely pointless. If he was removed, everything could have played out exactly the same! What a failure of a film. - DirectorBrett DonowhoStarsNicolas CageRyan Kiera ArmstrongClint HowardAn old gunslinger and his daughter must face the consequences of his past, when the son of a man he murdered years ago arrives to take his revenge.3/10, Cliché revenge plot and terribly done. Bad Nick Cage acting but without the insanity to at least get some laughs. Whole cast has wooden and often stupid dialogue except for the daughter who is the one bright spot in this mess. (Well the marshal was mildly amusing too.) Did the best she could with this garbage script that if possible got dumber as it went.
- DirectorTomasz BaginskiStarsMackenyuFamke JanssenMadison IsemanWhen a goddess of war reincarnates in the body of a young girl, street orphan Seiya discovers that he is destined to protect her and save the world. But only if he can face his own past and become a Knight of the Zodiac.3/10. Bad CGI, bad story and questionable acting, has it all. Better than Dragonball Evolution though, this has that going for it!
- DirectorPeyton ReedStarsPaul RuddEvangeline LillyMichael DouglasScott Lang and Hope Van Dyne are dragged into the Quantum Realm, along with Hope's parents and Scott's daughter Cassie. Together they must find a way to escape, but what secrets is Hope's mother hiding? And who is the mysterious Kang?3/10. Time not kind to this film, had as flat 4 but dropping to a 3. Terrible film full of characters I care nothing about. Marvel continues to desperately add "strong" women with the daughter of Scott Lang, another teenage girl who is better than Tony Stark just like Riri Williams is. Villain felt more pathetic than menacing. Terrible messaging promoting f**k the police and praising socialism. Idiotic character choices to move the plot forward just make me shake my head. Pretty much every storybeat made me feel absolutely nothing. Best I can say about Ant-Man 3 is that it isn't as boring like The Eternals or as cringe as Thor 4 so it has the honor of only being the 3rd worst Marvel film as of now.
- DirectorLouis LeterrierStarsVin DieselMichelle RodriguezJason StathamDom Toretto and his family are targeted by the vengeful son of drug kingpin Hernan Reyes.2/10. Not quite as bad as the previous one. Not quite. Was still incredibly stupid, absurd action and irritating dialogue with characters who, god the stupidity. Rolling my eyes when not rubbing my temples. Saw this late, didn't think anything would be worse than Ant-Man but this was.