- Train Conductor: Are you the lady who jumped on this train after we had started?
- Countess Helene Mara: Yes, and I shall complain about it. Trains don't go until I get on them!
- Count Rudolph Falliere a.k.a. Rudy the hairdresser: I have a system that can't miss. If I happened to be standing beside a brunette I bet on red. If I am standing next to a readhead I bet on black.
- Armand: But suppose you're standing next to a blonde. What do you do then?
- Count Rudolph Falliere a.k.a. Rudy the hairdresser: I ask where she lives.
- Countess Helene Mara: oh, oh, oh, oh... ohohohoo... that feels good... oh,oh... that feels even better... you must have electricity in your hands. I've never felt like this before! Gorgeous!
- Countess Helene Mara: After all there's a little difference between us.
- Count Rudolph Falliere a.k.a. Rudy the hairdresser: The only difference between us is that you are a woman and I am a man. That's all.
- Countess Helene Mara: No, I'm afraid not. I happen to be a countess.
- Count Rudolph Falliere a.k.a. Rudy the hairdresser: Yes, I'm a... I am a hairdresser. Alright I am a hairdresser.
- Prince Otto Von Seibenheim: I am glad that your hairdresser...
- Countess Helene Mara: Please don't mention him. I don't wanna hear another word about hair or hairdresser. What's the opera about?... I asked you what the opera is about?
- Prince Otto Von Seibenheim: It's er... all about a hairdresser but I... I can't help it. I didn't write it.