- Introductory Card: Mr Hardy is a man on great care, caution, and discretion - Mr. Laurel is married too.
- Oliver: Let's get together. There's nothing to getting a boot off. You don't have to drag me around the room. It's most embarrassing. Let's concentrate and use our brains, Rome wasn't built in a day. Remember the old adage, a task slowly done is surely done.
- Stanley: [Nods]
- Oliver: Do you understand?
- Stanley: Sure, a cool head never won fair lady.
- Cookie: Attaboy. Now you're talking. Remember the ole saying: No man is bigger than the excuses he makes to his wife. So, don't forget. Be big! Get me? *Be Big*!
- [first lines]
- Mrs. Hardy: Oh, Oliver, darling?
- Oliver: Yes, ducky lover?
- Mrs. Hardy: Hurry, honey bug, we'll miss our train.
- Oliver: I'm coming, angel, darling.
- Mrs. Hardy: Why, Oliver, what's the matter?
- Oliver: Oh, I feel faint. As light as a feather. Spots before my eyes. Oooo, it must be the excitement. Oooo-oooo.
- Mrs. Hardy: Oh, oh, there, dear. There. Don't let it get you. Be big!
- Oliver: What's the matter?
- Mrs. Hardy: Did you take a shower with your hat on?
- Oliver: I didn't want to get my hair wet.
- Oliver: [doorbell rings - to Stan] Oooo! It's the wife. The towel for my head? Do something to help me!
- Oliver: You two girls go right along. Stan can stay here with me. I'll be feeling fine in the morning and we'll come down on the first train.
- Mrs. Laurel: Well, that certainly is big of you.
- Stanley: What's the idea?
- Oliver: The gang is giving a stag party in our honor tonight.
- Stanley: Where? At the club?
- Oliver: Yes!
- Stanley: For us?
- Oliver: Certainly!
- Stanley: Well, you can't go.
- Oliver: Why?
- Stanley: You're sick. You're all in a heap.
- Oliver: That was only an excuse to get them out of the house!
- Stanley: Oh! Why didn't you tell me?
- Oliver: Now, just follow my plan - and see how easy, how *simple*, how free-from-care, everything will be. Now, I'll lie on the floor...