Charles Laughton: Henry VIII
Photos
Quotes
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[Henry's fourth wedding night]
King Henry VIII : My wife? Huh... not yet.
Anne of Cleves : Poor mother told me... first he says the marriage is no good, and then he cuts off the head with an ax chopper!
King Henry VIII : That is an exaggeration, madam.
Anne of Cleves : Then why do you say I am not yet your wife?
King Henry VIII : Well, madam, uh, a marriage ceremony doesn't make us one.
Anne of Cleves : Mmm?
[shows her ring]
King Henry VIII : Oh, yes, yes, yes, 's all right, but you, uh, have to, umm, I have to...
Anne of Cleves : What?
King Henry VIII : Did your mother not talk to you about...
Anne of Cleves : What?
King Henry VIII : Oh Lord. Ohhhh, well, uh, madam, all that stuff about children being found under gooseberry bushes... that's not true...
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[Henry's fourth wedding night]
King Henry VIII : [shouting] Ah, what am I, what am I going to do with you!
Anne of Cleves : Chop my head?
King Henry VIII : Probably.
Anne of Cleves : You daren't.
King Henry VIII : Why not?
Anne of Cleves : Because in Europe I will make such a scandal as you never heard. Not the first time you have chopped the head. Henry the wife-butcher, that's what they will call you!
King Henry VIII : I don't care what they say, I'm not going to live with you!
Anne of Cleves : Well, why don't you divorce me, like a gentleman?
King Henry VIII : You would consent to a divorce?
Anne of Cleves : I would consent to a divorce.
King Henry VIII : You are a very reasonable woman. What are your terms?
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Katherine Howard : Who's there?
King Henry VIII : Henry.
Katherine Howard : Henry who?
King Henry VIII : The King.
Katherine Howard : Oh, the King, not the man.
King Henry VIII : Unlock the door.
Katherine Howard : Isn't it rather late for a maid to unlock her door to a... man?
King Henry VIII : On, come on, unlock the door.
Katherine Howard : Is that a command?
King Henry VIII : Yes.
Katherine Howard : To the King, then, not the man.
[lets him in and kneels]
King Henry VIII : Don't do that. I'm leaving me crown outside.
Katherine Howard : You've left it outside with my reputation, sire.
King Henry VIII : No one saw me, Katherine, I swear. Can't you forget the King and forget the crown, forget everything... you told me once I was a man, uh? What do you say if I'm not the King?
Katherine Howard : Get out of my room!
King Henry VIII : What? Whyyy...
Katherine Howard : That's what I *would* say, if you were not the King. Since you are the King, I expect your command.
King Henry VIII : Command? It's a poor thing to command in love.
Katherine Howard : Love? Who is in love?
King Henry VIII : I am, with you.
Katherine Howard : Love eternal, since yesterday afternoon, until tomorrow morning?
King Henry VIII : When I say love, I mean love.
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[last lines]
King Henry VIII : Six wives, and the best of them's the worst.
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King Henry VIII : [gobbling down chicken and then casually tossing the legs off to one side as Cromwell looks on disgustedly] There's no delicacy nowadays. No consideration for others. Refinement's a thing of the past! Manners are dead!
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Anne of Cleves : Well, how's life?
King Henry VIII : Oh, it's rather sad, Anne.
Anne of Cleves : Oh, but why?
King Henry VIII : Well, I haven't got any friends, you know. I haven't got a wife. I haven't got any love in my life... I haven't got anything. Not even hatred.
Anne of Cleves : What you want is a good wife!
King Henry VIII : "Wife"?
[makes a slightly disgusted expression]
Anne of Cleves : I said a *good* one. Not a spiteful one like the first. Not an ambitious one like the second, and not a stupid one like the third.
King Henry VIII : And not a cardsharper like the fourth.
Anne of Cleves : No, and not a very young one like the fifth. I said a *good* one.
King Henry VIII : Where do you find them?
Anne of Cleves : I'll show you...
[opens a window, where outside Catherine Parr is tending to the king's children in the palace garden]
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Thomas Cromwell : Sire, we need more heirs.
King Henry VIII : I have given you three, two daughters and a son! I grant you, the daughters show little promise; Mary may grow to wisdom, but Elizabeth'll never learn to rule so much as a kitchen. Ah, but the boy is my second self.
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King Henry VIII : Diplomacy? Diplomacy, my foot! I'm an Englishman - I can't say one thing and mean another. What I can do is to build ships, ships, and then more ships!
Thomas Cromwell : You mean, double the fleet?
King Henry VIII : Treble it! Fortify Dover! Rule the sea!
Thomas Cromwell : To do this will cost us money, sire.
King Henry VIII : To leave it undone will cost us England!
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King Henry VIII : Well Thomas, what do you think of the new queen?
Thomas Culpeper : Wonderful, your majesty.
King Henry VIII : Beautiful?
Thomas Culpeper : Lovely.
King Henry VIII : Clever, too?
Thomas Culpeper : A miracle of good sense, your majesty.
King Henry VIII : Liar!
[slaps Thomas's face and laughs]
King Henry VIII : No, Thomas, not clever, thanks be to heaven. My first wife was clever, my second was ambitious, but my third... Thomas, if you want to be happy, marry a girl like my sweet little Jane. Marry a stupid woman! Ha ha ha...
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King Henry VIII : When a hen lays an egg, it's not entirely all her own doing.
Anne of Cleves : You mean sometimes it was the cuckoo?
King Henry VIII : Yes. It was the cuckoo.
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King Henry VIII : So, how many blunders, stupidities and cruelties has a man to pass, before he finds his happiness in a wife?
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King Henry VIII : Love is drunkenness when one is young... love is wisdom when one is at my age.
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King Henry VIII : All sauce and no substance. Like one of Cromwell's speeches.
[coughs]
King Henry VIII : And just as difficult to swallow!
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King Henry VIII : You know, the Germans offered me half of France if I'd join 'em... heh... and the French offered me Flanders. Heh heh heh. They're very generous with each other's territory, heh heh heh. In my youth, in Wolsey's time, I'd have accepted one offer or the other, but what's the use of new territories and wars, wars, wars again?
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King Henry VIII : [on being told a son has been born] It's a boy! A boy!
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King Henry VIII : If those French and Germans don't stop killing each other, the whole of Europe will be in ruins.
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Anne of Cleves : Are you getting the money?
King Henry VIII : Can't you give me five minutes credit?
Anne of Cleves : I play for cash.
