Thicker Than Water (1935)
Oliver Hardy: Ollie
Photos
Quotes
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Mrs. Daphne Hardy : Oliver, did I or did I not give you the money to pay on the furniture?
Ollie : You certainly did.
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : Then why wasn't it paid?
Ollie : [points to Stan] Why I gave it to him to pay it for me.
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : [to Stan] Then what did YOU do with it?
Stanley : [points to Ollie] I gave it back to him.
Ollie : You gave it to ME?
Stanley : Yeah, I gave it to you to pay my room and board, and you gave it to her.
[points to Mrs. Hardy]
Stanley : "Recomember"?
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : Do you mean to say that the money that he
[points to Ollie]
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : gave to you
[points to Stan]
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : that you gave to him
[points to Ollie]
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : that he gave to me was the same money that I gave to him
[points to Ollie]
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : to pay HIM?
[points to Finlayson]
Stanley : Well if that was the money that you gave to him
[points to Ollie]
Stanley : to give to me
[points to self]
Stanley : to pay to him
[points to Finlayson]
Stanley : It must have been the money I gave him
[points to Ollie]
Stanley : to give to you to pay my rent, didn't I?
[Ollie nods wildly]
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Mrs. Daphne Hardy : [to Ollie] You big dumbbell. I can't trust you to do a thing.
[to Stan]
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : And as for you, I have a good mind to throw you out!
Stanley : You can't do it.
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : I can't do it?
Stanley : No, because I paid my room and board in advance, and I gave it to him.
[points to Ollie]
Ollie : What do you mean you gave it to me? That was the money that *she* gave to *me* and *I* gave it to *you* to give to *him* then *you* gave it back to *me* and I had to give it to *her* to give to *him*!
Stanley : Was that the money that she gave to him that I gave to you to give to...?
Ollie : Why certainly!
Stanley : Well, if she wants to give to him, that's her business. No use you and I arguing about it.
-
Ollie : Well, here's another fine kettle of fish you've pickled me in.
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Mrs. Daphne Hardy : Incidentally, when are you going to pay me for your board and room?
Stanley : [points to Ollie] I gave it to him.
[Ollie spits out his drink]
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : What'd you give it to him for?
Stanley : Well he said he was boss, and I didn't...
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : Oh, he did, huh?
[sticks out her hand at Ollie and motions with her fingers to pay up; Ollie takes out the money and puts it in her hand]
Ollie : Don't get sore, honey. I was only kidding.
[kicks Stan from under the table]
-
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : Where do you think you're going?
Ollie : Well, we're going to the ballgame.
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : You're going to the ballgame?
Ollie : Well, certainly. We businessmen have to relax sometime. Don't we, Stanley?
Stanley : We certainly do.
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : Well, if you want to relax, you can stay home and wash these dishes.
-
Ollie : Stanley's got a great idea.
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : What now?
Ollie : Well, he said that we should draw our money out of the bank and pay the furniture off.
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : We'll do nothing of the kind. That money stays right where it is.
[to Stan]
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : Listen, tumbleweed, from now on you mind your own business.
-
Ollie : What do you think I am? A blood worm?
-
Ollie : My dear, Madam, being a true Southerner, chivalry is my middle name, to say nothing of the hospitality.
-
Stanley : Are you going to let her talk to you like that?
Ollie : I certainly am not.
Stanley : I don't blame you. Why she talks to you like water off a duck's back. If she was my wife, I'd throw her out in the back and I'd go and buy some furniture.
Ollie : Stanley, you're absolutely right. I'll learn her!
-
Stanley : What are you going to tell her about the clock?
Ollie : I'm gonna tell her nothin'. I'll keep everything in the dark. And if you'll keep your mouth shut, nobody will be any the wiser.
[Mrs. Hardy enters]
Ollie : Hello, honey! Well, what's the matter?
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : Where's that clock?
Ollie : What clock?
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : The clock you paid $290 for.
Ollie : Why that's ridiculous. Where would I get $290?
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : [to Stan] Where's that clock!
Stanley : I don't know. He said he was going to keep it in the dark - and if I didn't keep my mouth shut, then, nobody'd be any the wiser.
