Love on a Bet (1936)
William Collier Sr.: Uncle Carlton MacCreigh
Quotes
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Michael MacCreigh : [Poking his head through some hanging beef in the cooler] A hundred and seventy-five in my stocking feet.
Uncle Carlton MacCreigh : Yes, and we don't deal in inferior beefs. Throw this carcass out.
Michael MacCreigh : Day by day, I rise in your estimation.
Uncle Carlton MacCreigh : Yes. Any time now I'm liable to think enough of you to offer you a job again.
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Michael MacCreigh : You're getting to think too much of me, Uncle Carlton. Really, I'm not worth it.
Uncle Carlton MacCreigh : Certainly you're worth it. A man of your accomplishments is not to be taken lightly.
Michael MacCreigh : Say, I'm never taken lightly. When they take me, they take me for everything I've got.
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Uncle Carlton MacCreigh : Well the whole idea of the play is ridiculous. You expect anybody to believe that a man can leave New York in his underwear and get to Los Angeles in 10 days?
Michael MacCreigh : Well, at least he's got his BVDs. That's more than any of us start life with.
Uncle Carlton MacCreigh : And the way Stephen piles it on. This boy wonder arrives in Los Angeles in a new suit of clothes, a hundred dollars in his pocket, and engaged to a beautiful girl. Ridiculous! Who's gonna believe that?
Michael MacCreigh : Remember, this happens in a play, not in a slaughter house. It's not beef ham and prize-cuts. It's romance! Adventure! Just was people want to see in a play.
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Uncle Carlton MacCreigh : Are you cold?
Michael MacCreigh : [Shivering in the cold walk-in cooler] No. I'm practicing for the DTs.
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Uncle Carlton MacCreigh : You'll never get out of the city without being arrested for indecent exposure.
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Uncle Carlton MacCreigh : [Reading a telegram from Michael] "Traded shotgun for a portable sewing machine. It keeps me in stitches. Practically no kisses, Michael." Very funny.
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Miss Jones, MacCreigh's Secretary : Another one of those collect telegrams, sir.
Uncle Carlton MacCreigh : And this is the last one I pay for. If any more come, send them back.
Miss Jones, MacCreigh's Secretary : Yes, sir.
Stephen Dody : Where is he now?
Uncle Carlton MacCreigh : Bellwood, Kansas.
[He reads the telegram out loud]
Uncle Carlton MacCreigh : "Breezed into Bellwood, thus doubling the population. Stop. Had lunch with the chamber of commerce, who really is a swell fellow. Stop."
Stephen Dody : Not bad time. He made 600 miles yesterday.
Uncle Carlton MacCreigh : [Continues reading telegram] "Trading sewing machine. Big deal pending. I hate you."
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Uncle Carlton MacCreigh : Well, here's your check.
Michael MacCreigh : It's a pleasure.
Uncle Carlton MacCreigh : Now I'm in show business, whether I like it or not. Can you imagine what will happen if I talk leg of lamb to the leading lady?
Aunt Charlotte : You talk cold turkey to her and you'd be surprised what will happen.