The Princess Comes Across (1936)

Alison Skipworth: Lady Gertrude

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lady Gertrude Allwyn : The story is from a novel entitled Lavender and Old Lace, but the name of the cinema has been changed to... um... She Done Him Plenty.

• Lady Gertrude Allwyn : What is that?

  Princess Olga : Why it's one of those things, you know, one of those come-to-you go-from-you things.

  Lady Gertrude Allwyn : A concertina. And very vulgar. A definite symbol of the lower classes. Put the thing on the floor and it crawls.

• Lady Gertrude Allwyn : My dear, I am an old woman. I have travelled at home and abroad, and *never, never* have I known any good to come out of a concertina.

• King Mantell : Your Highness, there's something wrong with your tub.

  Princess Olga : Vat?

  King Mantell : Yes, you see, the water runs in and it runs out, but the trouble is it runs out faster than it runs in. I discovered it this morning when I was trying to take a bath. It can only draw about that much water

  [his fingers show an inch] 

  King Mantell : and you can't take a bath with that much water

  [shows an inch again] 

  Princess Olga : Vell, if you're a ploomb-er, why don't you fix it?

  King Mantell : Well, I'm not a ploomb-er, uh, I mean, a plumber, but I think I could fix it. Have you got a screwdriver?

  Lady Gertrude Allwyn : A screwdriver? Her Highness is not in the habit of going around with a screwdriver on her person.

  Princess Olga : [to Mantell]  Please go avay.

  King Mantell : Well, I was only trying to help, but may I suggest that when you want to take a bath, you should take a shower.

  [walks away] 

  King Mantell : Of course, there's always the ocean.

  [Exits] 

  Princess Olga : [dropping her phony Swedish accent]  I'd like to smack that guy right in the kisser.

• Princess Olga : You enjoyed the cocktails, didn't you?

  Lady Gertrude Allwyn : The first two or three. After the fifth or sixth I was utterly bored.

• Princess Olga : What do you expect me to do? Sit around and twiddle my thumbs?

  Lady Gertrude Allwyn : There are plenty of proper gentlemen on board without you drinking cocktails with a concertina squeezer.

• Princess Olga : I had a good time. Who said: uneasy lies the head that wears the crown?

  Lady Gertrude Allwyn : You know I was a married woman before I knew that Kings didn't sleep with their crowns on.

  Princess Olga : Where do they put them? Under the bed?

• Lady Gertrude Allwyn : Oh my, stars and garters!

• Lady Gertrude Allwyn : Thank heaven this day is over. Such a crowd, my dear. I don't mind people stepping on my feet, but I do object to their loitering there.