- Julia Balzar: I'm expecting a railroad accident. As soon as an American comes to Europe, trains start derailing.
- Julia Balzar: Americans are right to say we should face life with a smile. Just wait until Sissi gets well, then we'll have a merry dance. Who cares? We'll have great fun.
- Kurt Balzar: You only think you're having fun. I'm leaving.
- Julia Balzar: "You only think you're having fun." Even a broken clock is right once a day. And this time he's right, my broken clock. You only think you're having fun, you think you're in love, you think you're being loved. It's like the candles at a party. You blindly stare into the flames, forgetting they'll soon burn out. One belief after another burns out. Until all that remains is the belief in death.
- Katja von Battwyhl: Well, which belief has just burned out?
- Julia Balzar: I don't know. Perhaps my belief in myself.
- Kurt Balzar: I'm not fond of the other men my wife loves. If possible, I'd rather keep her to myself.
- Julia Balzar: No, simply impossible. All men worship my free spirt.
- Kurt Balzar: It's easy to worship a woman when she's not your wife. I worshipped you once as well.
- Julia Balzar: Don't you find me charming and sweet?
- Kurt Balzar: No.
- Julia Balzar: Then you think I'm kind and pleasant?
- Kurt Balzar: No.
- Julia Balzar: Come sit down. Come on and sit. Kurt, repeat after me: I think you're charming, sweet, kind, and pleasant.
- Kurt Balzar: No.
- Julia Balzar: Poor kid. All grown up and you still haven't learned to lie.
- Kurt Balzar: Would such a lie make you feel any better?
- Julia Balzar: Sometimes you feel so miserable that you'd gladly beg for such small lies, even knowing they're just lies. Just like children who collect fallen leaves, pretending they're made of gold. But they know full well that they're only withered leaves.
- Mary Jonston: How shocking! Yes, why don't you get divorced, when you so clearly covet each other's wives? In America we have a law for cases like these imposing mandatory divorce or polygamy. Once you've been married 8 or 10 times, it's easy to refrain from casual affairs.
- Ludvig von Battwyhl: There, there, Sissi. Don't be upset. Heavens to Betsy, girl! You're so pretty when you're upset, I don't want to comfort you.
- Julia Balzar: Has the person arrived?
- Hall Porter: Which person, Mrs. Balzar?
- Julia Balzar: The dollar queen, of course. Miss Mary Jonston of America.
- Katja von Battwyhl: I'm so glad to see you again, Julia.
- Julia Balzar: I'm just as glad to see you. What a lovely scarf. It doesn't match your hair, but you can always dye that. I see you're doing well. You look nice and plump.
- Mary Jonston: Dr. Jonson was there. That man has sex appeal. His rudeness is simply charming. I wonder if it comes by birth and force of habit, or...
- Karin - Nurse: Or what?
- Mary Jonston: It might be armor - for a sensitive heart.
- Mary Jonston: Sissi suffers from severe psychological distress. The cause is most likely hypocrisy committed by a man.
- Dr. Jonson: That's a quick diagnosis.
- Mary Jonston: The answer was close at hand. The victim is a woman and we're in Europe. In India, if I come across a ravaged corpse, I look for a tiger. In Europe, if I come across a woman's ravaged soul, I look for a man.
- Dr. Jonson: What an honor for the men of Europe. We thank you.
- Ludvig von Battwyhl: Our relationships are terribly innocent.
- Julia Balzar: That's right, miss. We pretend to be indecent. And we don't want interference.
- Mary Jonston: My darling, it's my duty to interfere. You are morally decadent. Yes, I saw Julia take Louis in her arms, Kurt embrace Katja, and the Count couldn't take his eyes off of Sissi.
- Julia Balzar: Yes, calm down. She's absolutely right. Right here. Just a moment ago, remember? I had my arm around Louis and scowled when I saw Kurt with his arm around Katja and she scowled when she saw Ludvig by poor Sussi's feet. Dear friends, I just want to show we know our marriages are rotten. We deceive each other again and again and again!
- Kurt Balzar: Please restrain yourself.
- Julia Balzar: I'm an educated European woman. I don't speak the truth without cause. But if this American doubts my ability, she'll get more truth than she can handle!
- Julia Balzar: I feel like Sussi's accident was a sign from God. A warning to me and the rest of us.
- Kurt Balzar: Julia, it was a pure accident.
- Julia Balzar: Pure accidents don't exist. Everything happens for a reason.
- Julia Balzar: I've had enough of your troubles. I don't want to be the trash bin after the party. I want to be the party!
- Mary Jonston: I'll buy this clinic and rebuild it in accordance with modern principles. And expand the hotel next door. Now that hit home. Perhaps that would suit you better than coming to America?
- Dr. Jonson: Much better, of course. Who actually gave you permission to be here today? Miss Dollar, we'd like some privacy. Please.
- Mary Jonston: You really are rude. For the second time today, if not the third. But you are attractive. A pity you're a lousy doctor.
- Louis Brenner: Good day, Miss Mary. How are you?
- Mary Jonston: Just fine. It's mankind's primary duty to feel fine.
- Mary Jonston: If you come to America, I'll give you the largest clinic in the States. There you'd have a wider range of work worthy of your talents. And I promise I'd waste both dollars and interest on you.
- Dr. Jonson: Thank you, but I decline. I'm afraid that this mountain man of the species Homo Europaeus wouldn't fit into your menagerie.
- Mary Jonston: How about a wager? I'll give you 12 hours to cure Sissi. After that, it's my turn. If you win, I'll donate 10 free stays at your clinic.
- Dr. Jonson: I see. And if I lose?
- Mary Jonston: You'll enter my service.
- Dr. Jonson: As your personal physician?
- Mary Jonston: No, as my husband.
- Mary Jonston: I don't like being kept waiting.
- Mary Jonston: The right thing would be to slap you.
- Mary Jonston: What do you say?
- Dr. Jonson: Slap you, I said.
- Mary Jonston: Good heavens.
- Mary Jonston: Damn it! I've made a fool of myself!
- Dr. Jonson: Let's just say it's human nature to be wrong every now and then.
- Dr. Jonson: Ladies and gentlemen, here you see two of the world's most harmful parasites: an honest American quack and a dishonest Swedish doctor. She's honest for believing in her quackery and I'm dishonest for allowing her to do so.
- Mary Jonston: It's your sexual bouquet that appeals to me. I'll buy you.
- Dr. Jonson: What?
- Mary Jonston: Yes, like a fine wine or a purebred dog.