The Flying Deuces (1939)

Stan Laurel: Stan

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Quotes 

• [Stan and Ollie have just heard that they will be executed the next day] 

  Oliver : Here's a nice pickle we're in. Shot at sunrise!

  Stanley : I hope it's cloudy tomorrow!

• Oliver : Stanley, a miracle has happened. I've completely forgotten.

  Stanley : You mean you've forgotten Georgette?

  Oliver : Who's Georgette?

  Stanley : That's swell, now we can go home.

• Stanley : [watching a pair of airplanes doing acrobatics]  I wonder what keeps them up?

  Oliver : I don't know. But I do know what keeps me DOWN!

  [firmly and deliberately taps his shoe on the pavement in front of him to indicate how safe and solid it is and how he never intends to let his feet leave the ground] 

  Stanley : Yes, sir - good old Terracotta Firma for me!

• [last lines] 

  Oliver : Hey, Stan! Look! I'm over here.

  [Stan does a take - sees a horse in a pasture with Ollie's hat and mustache] 

  Oliver : Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into.

  Stanley : Ollie, is that really you?

  Oliver : [as horse]  Of course, it's me.

  Stanley : Gee, I'm glad to see ya!

• Oliver : How much do we get for all this work?

  Commandant : One hundred centimes, a day.

  Stanley : Well, that's not bad.

  Oliver : How much is that in American money?

  Commandant : Oh, American money? It's equivalent to about three cents a day. Of course, it varies with the rate of exchange.

  Stanley : Well, how much do we get for overtime?

  Oliver : There ain't gonna BE any overtime. If you think that you're gonna get that much work outta me for three cents a day, brother, you are crazy!

  Commandant : Is that so?

  Oliver : Ab-so-lutely!

  Stanley : Yeah, and that goes for me too. Cause we don't work for less than twenty-five cents a day! Do we Ollie?

  Oliver : Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh - Uhhhh!

  Stanley : Mmh-Mhm-Mhm-Mhm - Mmhmm!

• Stanley : What did you say in the note, Ollie?

  Oliver : I said plenty and if I could have spelled raspberry, I'd have told him a lot more!

  Stanley : That'll learn him!

• Oliver : I'm in love.

  Stanley : You don't tell me! Who is it?

  Oliver : The most gorgeous creature in the world. Georgette, the innkeeper's daughter.

  Stanley : Well, I don't blame you. She sure is a swell dish!

  Oliver : She certainly - don't call her a dish! She's the girl that I'm going to marry!

• Stanley : Is there anything else I can do for you?

  Oliver : Yes! Leave me alone!

  Stanley : Don't talk to me like that after all the hospital I've given ya. I've tried given you candy and a nice, fat, juicy steak. I've waited on you with your hands and feet! Tried to tell you that there's plenty more girls. You don't have to worry about that.

• Francois : Pardon me gentlemen, what seems to be the trouble?

  Stanley : Well, if you don't mind, we're going to jump in the river.

  Francois : But, why commit such a foolish action? Surely, your troubles can't be as bad as all that.

  Stanley : Well, that's what I've been trying to tell him.

  [points to Ollie] 

  Stanley : All because he fell in love with a dame. Now, isn't the silly?

  Francois : No woman is worth that.

  Stanley : I should say not.

  Oliver : You haven't seen her. If you knew her as I know her...

  Francois : I understand. But, don't you get, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

  Stanley : He's not in love with a fish. It's a girl!

• Francois : Well, advice is cheap. Maybe if you'd listen to my suggestion, your problem would be solved.

  Oliver : What is your suggestion?

  Francois : Join the Foreign Legion!

  Stanley : What for?

  Francois : To forget.

• Commandant : I'll now assign you to your duties. Revely at five, you dress quickly, make up your bunks and get ready for inspection. Inspection until seven. Ten minutes for breakfast. You drill until one and march until four.

  Stanley : What about lunch?

  Commandant : You'll have that while marching. You have inspection until six. Fifteen minutes for mess. Kitchen duties until ten. Inspection until eleven. Then, taps. That is all.

  Stanley : [to Ollie]  If we have to do all that, you won't have time to forget.

• Oliver : Haven't I got enough trouble without you making it tougher!

  Stanley : Well, it's your own fault. If you hadn't fallen in love with Georgette, we wouldn't be here. We wouldn't have to...

  Oliver : Will you stop reminding me of that! Here I am, trying to forget and you keep talking about it all the time! Now, here's another day wasted!

  Stanley : Well, maybe you don't try hard enough. If you can't forget, why don't you try and pretend to forget.

  Oliver : How can anybody pretend to forget?

  Stanley : Well, I know if it was me, I'd sit down and relax. I'd close my eyes and I'd concentrate and I'd think of nothing. It wouldn't be long then. That's what I'd do.

  Oliver : Say, I think you've got something there.

  Stanley : I know I've got something. Why don't you take a whirl at it? Now, don't think of anything.

  Oliver : I won't.

  Stanley : I know it's tough to forget a swell gal like that. Gorgeous hair and lovely eyes. Beautiful teeth. Ruby lips. Mmm. Gorgeous. I can see her now.

  Oliver : Oh-oh-oh. So can I. - Will you shut up!

• Stanley : Say, I thought you'd said you'd forgotten her?

  Oliver : Don't be silly! How could I forget my little Georgette?

• Francois : Now, once more, I'm going to give you a piece of advice. Keep away from my wife! If I ever see or hear of you being in her presence again, I'll see to it that your worthless carcass lies sizzling in the desert sun at the mercy of the vultures! Do you understand?

  Oliver : Yes, sir.

  Stanley : [Francois turns and glares at Stan]  Yes, sir.

• Stanley : Say, where are we going?

  Oliver : This tunnel leads to the outside wall. We're making our escape.

  Stanley : Well, are we allowed to do that?

  Oliver : Go ahead!

  Stanley : I was just asking.

• Oliver : Go back to the cell and get those tin plates.

  Stanley : I don't want to go back to the cell.

  Oliver : Will you hurry! This is our last chance.

  Stanley : Why do I have to do everything? Always, me. Me. Me.