The Bride Came C.O.D. (1941)

James Cagney: Steve Collins

Photos 

Quotes 

• Steve Collins : This is Californie, they were married by a justice of the peace from Nevada, so legally they're not married.

  Lucius K. Winfield : Well if they're not married, that's fine.

  Steve Collins : But they THINK they're married! And they're flying back to Los Angeles for their honeymoon!

  Lucius K. Winfield : They think they are and they're not?

  [laughs] 

  Lucius K. Winfield : That's the funniest thing I've heard in years! They think they are and they're not! And they've gone back for their honeymoon?

  [stops laughing] 

  Lucius K. Winfield : What am I laughing about? That's my daughter.

• Pop Tolliver : What do you want with your eggs, bacon or ham?

  Steve Collins : Bacon.

  Joan Winfield : Ham.

  Pop Tolliver : Okay, you'll both get bacon because I don't feel like cutting into a new ham.

• Pop Tolliver : How do you want your eggs, up or over?

  Steve Collins : Up.

  Joan Winfield : Over.

  Pop Tolliver : Okay, I'll make them all up so we don't get confused.

• Steve Collins : But, you can't marry this man you've known only four days. You've known head waiters longer.

• Pop Tolliver : Who's down there, or I'll shoot!

  Steve Collins : Well, go ahead and shoot - only make sure you aim at me!

• Pop Tolliver : Remember that bullet I whizzed right past your head?

  Steve Collins : Yeah, for a minute I thought you trying to hit me.

  Pop Tolliver : I was.

• Steve Collins : That dame. Undoubtedly the outstanding screwball of her generation.

• Joan Winfield : [singsong]  I'm not going anywhere with you!

  Steve Collins : Oh yes you are!

  Joan Winfield : No I'm not I'm not I'm nooooot.

  Steve Collins : Then Stevie will just have to come in and taaaake you!

• Joan Winfield : [pushes the dresser against the door to keep Steve out, he climbs in the window behind her, singsong]  I'd like to see I'd like to see you taaaaaake me!

  Steve Collins : [mocking singsong voice]  Anything to oblige, anything to oblige, anything to oblige a laaaaady!

• 3rd Reporter : This morning Joan was married to Steve Collins, the pilot who abducted her. The newlyweds confided in me that they are going to South America on their honeymoon. They are probably flying over Rio De Janiero now, where beneath the unbelievably blue sky, with the strumming of guitars...

  [voice fades out under Steve's voice] 

  Steve Collins : Oh Peetah?

  Lucius K. Winfield : Yes son?

  Steve Collins : A hundred and eighteen pounds.

  Joan Winfield : Oh, a hundred and ten!

  Steve Collins : A hundred and eighteen, and at ten dollars a pound, that's eleven-hundred eighty ya owe me.

  Lucius K. Winfield : Ok son.

  [Lucius and Pop laugh] 

  Lucius K. Winfield : One hundred and eighteen pounds: eleven-hundred and eighty dollars. Wh-what am I laughin' at? This is not deductable from my income tax.

  [the scene splits to Joan brushing her hair by the window as Steve howls realistically like a wolf while lying in bed - they both smile and the scene fades out]