- Charles Grant Jr.: Dad, I've been trying to tell you - we weren't gonna elope. I only followed her to bring her home.
- Charles Grant Sr.: Why?
- Charles Grant Jr.: Because her running out left me holding the bag. She's my leading lady, and the show goes on tonight.
- Charles Grant Sr.: By tonight you'll be on your way to your Uncle Wilbur's farm.
- Charles Grant Jr.: What'll I do on a farm?
- Charles Grant Sr.: You'll do what I did at your age: work! You'll... you'll till the soil and... and grow the crops.
- Charles Grant Jr.: Crops? What do I know about crops? I'm... I'm a writer.
- Charles Grant Sr.: Well, you'll fit in perfectly - your uncle raises corn.