Nothing But Trouble (1944)

Stan Laurel: Stan Laurel

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Quotes 

• Oliver : Come Stanley, let no one say that we were afraid to die.

  Stan : I don't care who says it.

• Oliver : Yonder she lies, Stanley. The good old USA!

  Stan : Gee, I'm glad to be back.

  Ocean Liner Passenger : I'll bet you are. What did the Japs do when they took you prisoner?

  Oliver : It was most humiliating. They forced us to prepare dinner. My masterpiece: Steak à la Oliver.

  Ocean Liner Passenger : Gee, that was tough.

  Oliver : Tough? My masterpiece? I beg your pardon!

  Stan : After they finished eating it, they told us to please go on home.

  Oliver : Yes, it seems that they preferred some dish of their own. I think they called it: Hara-Kiri.

• Mrs. Elvira Hawkley : I thought a little spot of this might refresh you before taking up your new duties. It's Chateauneuf 1924.

  Stan : Gee, that's pretty old. Haven't you got anything new?

• Oliver : I don't think there's a job open in this whole country.

  Stan : Say, why don't we try some other country?

  Oliver : Stanley, I think you've got a good idea.

• French Restaurateur : [scolding in French]  ... Un Bifteck à la Olivier! Allez!

  Stan : What'd he say?

  Oliver : You heard what he said.

  Stan : I heard what he said but I didn't hear what he meant.

  Oliver : He simply said that he accepts our resignation.

• King Christopher : You're awfully kind.

  Oliver : Well, we just like to see kids have fun.

  Stan : Yeah, we think kids are nice.

  King Christopher : And I think you're swell!

• Oliver : Stanley, we've got to uphold the rights of human beings. That beautiful sirloin steak is enough for at least four people.

  Stan : And he's hoarding it.

  Oliver : Mrs. Hawkley needs it more than that lion. We'll do it!

  Stan : You're right, Ollie. Ladies first, I always say.

  Oliver : Stanley, get the meat.

  Stan : You mean - me get the meat?

  Oliver : Of course! Reach in and take it! Well, there's nothing to it. All you have to do is look the lion straight in the eye. Lions are afraid of that. I - I read that in a book.

  Stan : But, did the lion read the book?

  Oliver : No. Don't annoy me with trifles. Hurry!

  Stan : Are you sure he'll be frightened?

  Oliver : One look at you and he'll be terrified! - - - Did you look him in the eye?

  Stan : Yeah, but, something must have gone wrong. I got frightened.

  Oliver : Oh, I can't depend upon you to do anything!

• Oliver : I have it! I'll decoy him away from the meat, you grab it. I'll pretend that I'm another lion.

  [Ollie roars] 

  Stan : It's working! Pretend you're a lady lion.

  [Ollie gives a high-pitched roar] 

• Oliver : Now, I've got to think of another idea.

  Stan : What are you going to do now?

  Oliver : I'm going to tickle him. That'll attract him away from the steak. Then, you snatch it.

  Stan : Suppose he's not ticklish?

  Oliver : All lion's are ticklish! Gootchi-gootchi-gootchi-gootchi!

  Stan : Why don't you try and find his funny bone?

  Oliver : Gootchi-gootchi-gootchi! Gootchi! Gootchi-gootchi! See, he's laughing! Gootchi-gootchi-gootchi-gootchi-goo!

  Stan : Don't look like a laugh to me.

• Oliver : I can't understand why my Mock Turtle Soup à la Hardy isn't done yet?

  Stan : Well, you know how slow those turtles are.

• Oliver : Stanley, at times you are most trying.

  Stan : Well, you can't blame me for trying.

• Stan : [after answering the door]  There's a guy by the name of Mr. Ronetz. He wants to talk to a Mr. Highness.

  Prince Saul : Oh, that's my Secretary. Would you pardon me a moment?

  Mrs. Elvira Hawkley : Oh, certainly.

• King Christopher : You know, Mr. Stanley, Mr. Oliver, this has been the happiest day of my life!

  Oliver : Look, Chris, you don't have to say Mr. to us.

  Stan : Of course not. Just call us Stan and Ollie.

  Oliver : After all, we're pals.

• Stan : Chris, you ain't a King?

  King Christopher : I - I should have told you.

  Oliver : Your Majesty.

  [bows] 

  Stan : Your Majesty.

  [curtsies] 

• Prince Saul : His Majesty will be pleased to grant you an audience at a later time.

  Stan : Oh, sure, Chris.

  Oliver : Thank you, your Majesty.

  Stan : Mr. King, Chris.

• Mrs. Elvira Hawkley : There you are, Stanley. Oh, you pixie, you. After all this - excitement, I'm sure you'll be glad to come back and work at our little house, won't you?

  Stan : No, ma'am.