- Pvt. Ted Brewer: Only one good man ever got into Parliament.
- Pvt. Herbert Davenport: Oh really? Who?
- Pvt. Ted Brewer: Bleedin' Guy Fawkes.
- Pte. Luke: Oh well. I've come to a conclusion.
- Pvt. Ted Brewer: What's that?
- Pte. Luke: I don't like the army.
- Pte. Evan Lloyd: You can't fight any war without infantry.
- Sam - Friend of Pte. Lloyd in Pub Scene: That infantry stuff 's as old as the hills. Air-power, tanks, they're the new weapons. Engines of war. The only engine the infantryman has is the human body, and that has grievous limitations.
- Pte. Evan Lloyd: I don't agree.
- Sam - Friend of Pte. Lloyd in Pub Scene: Here, what I mean is...
- Pte. Evan Lloyd: No, listen Sam. An infantryman is one of the most highly skilled technical men in a modern army. He has to be a mechanic, a gunner, an explosives expert and an athlete to begin with. He has a greater variety of weapons than all the rest of the army put together. He has to be trained in not just one sort of tactics but every sort - street-fighting, tank-hunting, wood-clearing and all the rest!
- Lt. Jim Perry: When this regiment was formed, our country was doing pretty badly. Napoleon's armies were just across the channel getting ready to invade us. We'd had defeat after defeat and a great many people thought we were finished. We weren't, but not because we were lucky. When the first battalion of this regiment marched, it was against Napoleon. Talavera, 1809, that was the first battle they made their own. And they marched 42 miles in 24 hours through a Spanish summer and every man jack of them carried 60-pound pack. Talavera, look at your cap badges - you'll see the name on it, and other battles too. Barrosa, Sabugal. At Sabugal, together with four companies of riflemen they defeated five times the number of Napoleon's troops. Salamanca, Ortez, Waterloo, Alma, Sevastopol, Tell El Kebir, Mons, Ypres, Somme. Those are battle honours. You are allowed to wear that badge with those names on it to show that you belong to the regiment that won them, and that when the time comes you'll do as well as they did. Last year that badge was in France. This year it's in Libya. It hasn't been disgraced yet. Now you're wearing it. I know what went wrong today. It so happens that Captain Edwards doesn't. You needn't worry - I'm not going to tell him. He's quite depressed enough as it is to think that it was his company that let the whole battalion down. But I just want to tell you this. If you ever get anywhere near any real fighting - I don't suppose you'll be good enough - but if you do, you'll find you'll be looking to other men not to let you down. If you're lucky, you'll have soldiers like Captain Edwards and Sergeant Fletcher to look to. If they're lucky, they'll be with another company.
- Pvt. Ted Brewer: Talk about the mysterious east. I reckon the Lyons Cornerhouse Coventry Street's got more mystery than this place.
- Lt. Jim Perry: My old battalion were all Territorials so I haven't had much experience of these men just called up. Do they usually make complaints?
- Sgt. Ned Fletcher: Lloyd, sir?
- Lt. Jim Perry: Yes.
- Sgt. Ned Fletcher: Well, all soldiers like a bit of a grumble, don't they sir? After all, it's not very funny to run when you feel like walking, or to stand up when you could do with a sit-down, or to have someone shouting at you when you're doing your best. No, I believe it does the men good to let off steam a bit, sir.
- Lt. Jim Perry: Yes, if, if that's all it is.
- Sgt. Ned Fletcher: Well they're new sir, but there's some good men there. Lloyd for one. he hasn't got the hang of things yet, but he's got the knack of handling men alright. He's a bit of a nuisance now, sir, but later on, he'll make an NCO.
- Chelsea Pensioner: All I say is, if there is a war, which God forbid, then you can say goodbye to England, home and beauty because the young chaps now, they can't fight.
- Lt. Jim Perry: You know being in the army has a lot of disadvantages, but there is one compensation - you're not alone against anyone.
- Lewis Gun Instructor: Now this is the 1914 type. When we get a gun, and we may any day now, we'll probably get the 1917 type with improvements. Used it myself in 1918. The main thing is, keep it clean. Mind you, don't drop the magazines and remember the eight stoppages. A bit o' mud on one of the feed pulls, you'll 'ave trouble. A bent magazine, you've got more trouble. Shan't be a minute old man. But it's a good ole gun. And in my 'umble opinion, the perfect answer to attacks from the air. So if hostile aircraft try to interfere with you, all you've got to do is touch 'em up a bit with the old Lewis. Got it?
- Pvt. Herbert Davenport: By the way, Parsons, I think it might be less, shall I say, embarrassing to both of us if we forget and disregard any differences in status which may have existed at the store.
- Pte. Bill Parsons: Yes, sir. Thank you.
- Pvt. Herbert Davenport: I must say I think you're very, to put it mildly, thoughtless of the powers that be to allow such a situation to arise.
- Pte. Bill Parsons: Oh I do agree, sir.
- Pvt. Herbert Davenport: After all it's not as if my activities were confined to toys - I was in charge of officers' kit.
- Pte. Bill Parsons: And garden ornaments.
- Pvt. Herbert Davenport: I know, but it's the offices kit which makes er, well it doesn't matter...
- Pvt. Herbert Davenport: Sorry Parsons, but it's been agreed by the company that Mr Thyrtle in the bargain basement will deal with all deferments now, so if you care to go and see him...? But you must realise you know, there's a war on. Only key men are deferred now.
- Pte. Bill Parsons: Oh, I understand sir, but do you think there's a chance that Mr Thyrtle might do something? You see, my wife...
- Pvt. Herbert Davenport: We've lost Collins from Refrigerators and Barker from Winter Sports this week. There was nothing Mr. Thyrtle could do for them.
- Pte. Bill Parsons: I see, sir.
- Pvt. Herbert Davenport: I'm sorry, Parsons.
- [Reads his own call-up papers and grabs telephone]
- Pvt. Herbert Davenport: Mr Thyrtle, please, quickly!
- Pvt. Ted Brewer: We're going to have a war? Right. Let 'em start one now. Let 'em get on with it. Let us get home early to our supper for once in a change.
- Pvt. Ted Brewer: I can't understand it - the government puts up walls with broken glass on top to protect its property, then trains blokes to get across it, at its own expense.
- Pte. Luke: At our expense, man. We're just cogs in a great machine - we pay for our own discomfort.
- Pvt. Herbert Davenport: These living conditions are most insanitary!
- Pte. Sid Beck: Not if we keep all the doors and windows open.
- Pvt. Herbert Davenport: I can't sleep with the windows open!
- Pte. Bill Parsons: How is your stomach, Mr Davenport?
- Pvt. Herbert Davenport: Acute.
- Pte. Bill Parsons: Hmmmm. That'll be the worry.
- Pte. Luke: It's your bowels. Driving a tractor for a week would it right for you.
- Pvt. Herbert Davenport: Are you a farmer, then?
- Pte. Luke: I wouldnae be here if I was. I worked on a farm though. They have a lassie doing my job now.
- Pvt. Herbert Davenport: [unimpressed with the entertainment] Who are these people?
- Pvt. Ted Brewer: The Pollocks.
- Pvt. Herbert Davenport: I wish we wore uniforms with a collar and tie - this makes you feel like a convict.
- Pte. Geoffrey Stainer: Well, what do you think you are?
- Pte. Bill Parsons: Any truth in the rumour, sir that the Sergeant Major's got bronchitis?
- Lt. Jim Perry: He's just lost his voice on parade.
- Pte. Geoffrey Stainer: Shouting, sir?
- Lt. Jim Perry: Just giving orders, Stainer.
- Buster - Marjorie's Boyfriend: Been in long?
- Pvt. Ted Brewer: Seven weeks. Seems like years.
- Buster - Marjorie's Boyfriend: I know.
- Pte. Geoffrey Stainer: What are you in? Bombers?
- Buster - Marjorie's Boyfriend: No, fighters.
- Pvt. Ted Brewer: On leave?
- Buster - Marjorie's Boyfriend: Sick leave.
- Pte. Evan Lloyd: You're lucky. We could do with a bit of that. How did you wangle it?
- Pte. Luke: Really sick, eh?
- Buster - Marjorie's Boyfriend: Well, shot up a bit.
- Pte. Sid Beck: If we land at Phillipeville, there's a three-star hotel there with an American bar, which will doubtless have beer in stock. Those who prefer more exotic beverages, will find your curiosity amply satisfied by the mysterious bazaars and coffee-houses of the casbah, or Moslem quarter.