Kiss and Tell (1945)

Robert Benchley: Uncle George Archer

Quotes 

• Uncle George : Corliss, I have a bone to pick with you. How dare you get married without letting me perform the ceremony?

  Corliss Archer : But Uncle George -

  Uncle George : It isn't everybody that has a chaplain right in the family, you know.

  Corliss Archer : Yes, Uncle George -

  Uncle George : Ever since you were that high it's been understood that it was to be my privilege.

  Corliss Archer : Yes, Uncle George, but -

  Uncle George : It's all right. Don't worry. We've been discussing it all, and we're going to give you children a real home wedding right now.

  Dexter Franklin : Holy cow.

  Janet Archer : That's right, Corliss.

  Mary Franklin : Won't that be lovely?

  Corliss Archer : But Uncle George, that's awfully sweet of you, and everything, but - but we don't need to get married anymore.

  Uncle George : Now look, eloping to a justice of the peace is all very modern, but there's nothing like an old-fashioned wedding ceremony if you want the marriage to last. Isn't that true, Janet?

  Janet Archer : I think Uncle George is perfectly right. Now run along upstairs, dear, and put on your new dress.

  Corliss Archer : Mom, I don't want to .

  Janet Archer : Why, Corliss!

  Dexter Franklin : Sure, Corliss, go on. I think it's a swell idea.

  Corliss Archer : Dexter Franklin, you keep out of this!

  Dexter Franklin : [to Uncle George]  Yes, sir. I wouldn't feel properly married to Corliss unless you did it.