The Sin of Harold Diddlebock (1947)
Jimmy Conlin: Wormy
Photos
Quotes
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Harold Diddlebock : A fool and his money are soon parted.
Wormy : Yeah, but think what beautiful memories he lays up. How 'bout two dollars 'til tomorrow?
Harold Diddlebock : He who lendeth money endeth friendship.
Wormy : Oh, that's alright, we ain't friends. I never even seen you before!
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Wormy : What you need is a drink.
Harold Diddlebock : No, I never touch it. I never have. It runs in my family, not to. The demon rum...
Wormy : I tell you what I'm going to do, since you've been so generous and all...
Harold Diddlebock : No. No. I tell you I have never in my whole life...
Wormy : You're never too old to learn.
Harold Diddlebock : You can't teach an old dog, new tricks.
Wormy : Every dog is entitled to one bite.
Harold Diddlebock : Let sleeping dogs lie.
Wormy : A barking dog never bites!
Harold Diddlebock : He who sleepeth with dogs, rises with fleas!
Wormy : Now, wait a minute. How 'bout, eh, a little wine for thy stomach's sake. That's from The Good Book! He who hesitates is lost.
Harold Diddlebock : Lips that touch liquor, shall never touch mine.
Wormy : Eat, drink and be merry!
Harold Diddlebock : The priest and the prophet have erred through strong drink, they are swallowed up of wine, they are out of the way through strong drink; they err in vision, they stumble in judgment. Isaiah 28.
Wormy : Ya got me.
Harold Diddlebock : What kind of a drink would you suggest? Nothing too strong, of course.
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Jake : It has always seemed to me that the cocktail should approach us on tip-toe, like a young girl, whose first appeal - is innocence.
Wormy : What a poet!
Jake : Here's to innocence!
Wormy : Bottoms up!
Harold Diddlebock : Over your ears!
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Harold Diddlebock : Did you ever hear of the Trojan Horse?
Wormy : Where was he running?
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Robert McDuffy : I don't want to be popular. I don't like nobody and nobody likes me. If it's all right with them, it's all right with me.
Wormy : Here, have a drink.
Robert McDuffy : Certainly. That's the one thing I do like.
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Jake the Bartender : [Fixing Harold's first alcoholic drink] Do you prefer showers or sitz baths?
Harold Diddlebock : Well, we have a shower over the tub, but there's always the danger of stepping on the soap.
Jake the Bartender : Vodka!
Harold Diddlebock : What?
Jake the Bartender : With vodka, you don't care WHAT you step on!
Wormy : You can step on snakes!
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Jake : This calls for a little celebration, Mr., eh...
Harold Diddlebock : Diddlebock. Harold Diddlebock.
Jake : Diddle what?
Harold Diddlebock : Diddlebock. Bock - as in beer.
Jake : Oh, I thought you said, Diddlebuck - as in buckwheat cakes.
Harold Diddlebock : No, I didn't
Wormy : Brother Diddlebuck, eh, back, eh, bu, eh, what's the matter with me?
Harold Diddlebock : Bock.
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Wormy : [Deciding what to fix for Harold's first drink - ever] I was thinking of a Texas Tornado.
Jake : Oh, not for an occasion like this, Wormy. To me, it is a perfectly reliable commercial drink for conventions and hangovers and things like that. But this, this is almost, eh, is the word: vestal? I mean it ought to have organ music. I mean opportunities like this come along all too rarely for a man with his heart in his work.
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Harold Diddlebock : My circus? Who, in heaven's name, ever gave you the idea that I had a circus?
Wormy : Who ever give me the idea? You sent me out to take care of it, didn't you? Right in the middle of a party, didn't you? Just when I'm gettin' in good with this big blonde, I got to beat it out to Queens, just in time for an elephant to squirt a bucket of ice water in my kisser and for one of them cats to, well never mind that.
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Harold Diddlebock : I was even in love with the same girl all my life; except, in different bodies.
Wormy : Same with me. I gotta have change all the time. So long, Suzie. Hello, Nellie! Hail - and farewell!
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Harold Diddlebock : You know something else? He may have been right to fire me. I'm just an old has-been.
Wormy : What are you talkin' about? If ever I seen a live wire, a good-time Charlie with the rubber off his roller and a whistle for the dames.
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Harold Diddlebock : Now, where do you get money?
Wormy : Eh, Wall Street?
Harold Diddlebock : Correct. And where in Wall Street?
Wormy : A bank?
Harold Diddlebock : Correct, again. And how do you get that money out of that bank?
Wormy : A hold-up?
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Wormy : [Repeated line] I hate bankers!
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Harold Diddlebock : There's nothing that succeeds...
Wormy : Like success!
Harold Diddlebock : No! Like thought! With thought you can penetrate...
Wormy : Granite walls!
Harold Diddlebock : Right! - All we need, then, is a thought!
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Harold Diddlebock : Drop that gun!
Wormy : Here, have a drink.