- Eric Yeager: [to Rhubarb] Now listen ya lug, you're in the chips now, the blue chips. So stop acting like a goon squad. This is an okay dame. She doesn't want a nickel of your dough.
- [to Polly]
- Eric Yeager: stroke him very gently on his head.
- Polly Sickles: Why, he doesn't even hiss.
- Eric Yeager: You're now a member of the club.
- Ball Player: A Rhubarb. It's a donnybrook... a dust-up...
- Eric Yeager: [takes phone] Lady, you know what happens at a sale, when two women get hold of the same dress? THAT's a Rhubarb!
- [slams phone down]
- Eric Yeager: How about some bait?
- owner of the pet shop: I'm sorry sir, we have no meat department.
- Eric Yeager: Meat? Golf balls is this cat's meat.
- Judge: [to Polly Sickles] You're sneezing under oath. An untruthful sneeze could find you guilty of perjury.
- Thaddeus J. Banner: I like things that fight back, whether it's animal or vegetable. That's why I eat artichokes all the time. An artichoke doesn't just lie on a plate like a mess of spinach waiting to be devoured! It gives you a battle! And it doesn't give up 'til you eat its heart out.