The Stooge (1951)
Jerry Lewis: Theodore 'Ted' Rogers
Photos
Quotes
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Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : Well, my mother loves me.
Bill Miller : I'll bet she was disappointed. I'll bet she wanted a child.
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : She got one. Look up the records. I was born at Mercy Hospital.
Bill Miller : Were you sick?
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : No, I wanted to be near my mother.
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[Ted is drunk]
Mary Turner : [whispering] Don't you think Ted has had enough?
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : You whisperin' about me?
Bill Miller : Oh, no. What gives you that idea?
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : I don't know. Am I being very extraordinary
[hiccups]
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : "Extraordinary". That's a funny one.
[drinks more champagne]
Mary Turner : How do you feel?
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : I feel very... gling glong. Thank you.
Bill Miller : Gling glong?
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Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : Bill love Mary? Huh?
[Bill nods]
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : That's right. Mary love Bill? Huh?
[Mary nods]
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : That's right. Cause I love the both of you.
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Mary Turner : I'll turn the covers down.
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : She'll turn the covers down.
Bill Miller : And you'll go right to bed.
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : Bed? Ha. What's playin' there?
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Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : You wouldn't hit a man wearing his mother's glasses, would ya?
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Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : Hello, ma! Hey ma, look at me! I'm in Mr. Sutherland's Review! No! No, ma, I'll keep my clothes on.
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Bill Miller : Mrs. Miller, we're going out and celebrating.
Mary Turner : At this hour?
Bill Miller : Sure, I'll find a club open, or I'll open one!
Mary Turner : Now what would people say? A big star seen out in public with his own wife. It's too normal.
Bill Miller : We'll take Ted along as a chaperone.
[They kiss. Ted blushes.]
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : Well, I can't help it. It's so romantic.
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Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : Are you for real?
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Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : LAAAADY!
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Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : [to Frecklehead] How long have you had freckles?
Genevieve 'Frecklehead' Tait : All my life! I hate them!
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers : Well, I think they are very becoming.
Genevieve 'Frecklehead' Tait : [Angrily] Shows what you know!