The Caine Mutiny (1954)

Humphrey Bogart: Lt. Cmdr. Philip Francis Queeg

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Captain Queeg : Ahh, but the strawberries! That's - that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with - geometric logic - that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist! And I'd have PRODUCED that key if they hadn't've pulled the Caine out of action! I, I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officers -

  [breaks off in horror, becomes hesitant] 

  Captain Queeg : Umm... naturally, I can only cover these things roughly, from - memory... but if I've left anything out... why, you just ask me - specific questions and I'll be - perfectly happy to answer them... one by one.

• Lt. Commander Philip Francis Queeg : Aboard my ship, excellent performance is standard, standard performance is sub-standard, and sub-standard performance is not permitted to exist - that, I warn you.

• Lt. Commander Philip Francis Queeg : This is the captain speaking. Some misguided sailors on this ship still think they can pull a fast one on me. Well, they're very much mistaken. Since you've taken this course, the innocent will be punished with the guilty. There will be no liberty for any member of this crew for three months. I will not be made a fool of! Do you hear me?

• Lt. Commander Philip Francis Queeg : Anyone notice anything peculiar about Seaman First Class Urban? A shirt-tail hanging out of trousers is, I believe, regulation uniform for a bus boy, *not,* however, for a sailor in the United States Navy. These are some of the things we're going to start noticing again. Mr. Maryk, who is the morale officer?

  Lt. Steve Maryk : We don't have one, sir.

  Lt. Commander Philip Francis Queeg : Who, then, is the junior ensign?

  Lt. Steve Maryk : Keith, sir.

  Lt. Commander Philip Francis Queeg : Mr. Keith, you are now appointed the morale officer. In addition to your other duties, you are to see that shirttails are tucked inside trousers.

  Lt. Keith : Aye, aye, sir.

  Lt. Commander Philip Francis Queeg : If I see one more shirttail flapping while I'm captain of this ship - woe betide the sailor; woe betide the OOD; and woe betide the morale officer, I kid you not!

• Lt. Commander Philip Francis Queeg : Get that red-headed fellow over there, that one there!

  Lt. Keith : Sir, it's impossible to tell which one is red-headed. They're all wearing their helmets.

  Lt. Commander Philip Francis Queeg : Keith - you're an idiot!

• Captain Queeg : [during his personal introduction to the officers of the Caine]  Mr. Maryk, kindly tell the crew - on behalf of myself - that there are four ways of doing things onboard my ship: the right way; the wrong way; the Navy way; and my way. So long as they do things my way, we'll get along.

• Captain Queeg : [after bawling out Ensign Keith]  Willie?

  Lt. Keith : Sir?

  Captain Queeg : You look worried. Oh, I know that a man's shirt is a petty detail, but big things are made up of details. Don't forget: for want of a nail a horseshoe was lost, then the whole battle. A captain's job is a lonely one. He's easily misunderstood. Forget that I bawled you out. It was for the good of morale of all concerned. Okay?

  Lt. Keith : [cheering up]  Yes, sir.

• Lt. Steve Maryk : Stillwell, steady as she goes! Willie, note the time. Captain, with respect, you're in no state to give orders at this time. Effective immediately, I'm relieving you as CO of this ship under Article One-Eighty-Four.

  Captain Queeg : I don't know what you're talking about! Helmsman! Left, one-eighty!

  Petty Officer 1st Class Stillwell : Mr. Keith, what do I do? *You're* the Officer of the Deck!

  Captain Queeg : I told you to come left; so come left, and NOW!

  Lt. Steve Maryk : I'm sorry, sir, but you're not issuing any further orders on this bridge. I've relieved you of command. I take full responsibility.

  Captain Queeg : Mr. Maryk, you're under arrest! Go below to your cabin! Left to one-eighty!

  Lt. Steve Maryk : Helmsman, right standard rudder. Come to new course zero-zero-zero.

  Petty Officer 1st Class Stillwell : Mr. Keith! What do I *do*?

  Ensign Willie Keith : Come north, Stillwell. Lieutenant Maryk is in charge now.

  Captain Queeg : Mr. Keith, call your relief! You're under arrest, too!

  Lt. Steve Maryk : [DELETED LINE]  No, sir; YOU are. Ensign Keith, please escort Mr. Queeg to his cabin.

  Ensign Willie Keith : [DELETED LINE]  Yes, sir. Captain, please come along peacefully. Otherwise, it'll be the brig for you.

  Captain Queeg : [DELETED LINE]  How dare you! You'll hang for this, all of you! *Do you hear me?* YOU'LL ALL HANG! *I KID YOU NOT...!*

  [Keith marches him from the bridge] 

• Captain Queeg : I think you should all know that I'm a 'book' man. Everything in it was put in for a purpose. Deviate from the book, and you'll still get an argument from me, and I don't lose arguments aboard my ship! That's one of the nice things about being Captain.