We're No Angels (1955)

Humphrey Bogart: Joseph

Photos 

Quotes 

• Joseph : We came here to rob them and that's what we're gonna do - beat their heads in, gouge their eyes out, cut their throats. Soon as we wash the dishes.

• Jules : Tell him there's a deadly poisonous snake inside of the cage. Tell him.

  Joseph : [Joseph eaves the room. Re-enters a few seconds later] 

  Jules : You didn't tell him?

  Joseph : [after a pause]  He knows already.

• Albert : I read someplace that when a lady faints, you should loosen her clothing.

  Joseph : [Sarcastically]  It's that kind of reading that got you into trouble.

• Albert : What if she knows his handwriting?

  Joseph : If you got a beautiful note like this, would you bother comparing signatures?

  Albert : No. It'd have to be signed by a girl, though.

• Joseph : Jules, you rush in and tell him before it's too late. Tell him there's a snake in that box.

  Jules : He won't believe me. He doesn't like me.

  Joseph : Albert, maybe you ought to run in and warn him.

  Albert : Why don't we cut cards for it?

  Joseph : Good idea. I'll get the cards.

  [Long pause as he slowly saunters over to get a deck of cards and returns] 

  Joseph : Who cuts first?

• Joseph : I'll say one thing about prison. You meet a better class of people.

• Amelie Ducotel : I'd like to talk to you if can spare a few minutes.

  Joseph : A man sentenced to life can always spare a few minutes.

• Joseph : That's the way it is, "in the midst of life," et cetera, et cetera, I forget the rest of it.

• Joseph : In the immortal words of somebody or other, "Well done, Adolphe."

• Joseph : I'm going to buy them their Christmas turkey.

  Albert : "Buy"? Do you really mean "buy"?

  Joseph : Yes, buy! In the Spirit of Christmas. The hard part's going to be stealing the money to pay for it.

• Albert : Even the girl herself called us angels.

  Joseph : We're no angels.

• [Joseph brings Andre a spiny pineapple on a plate to eat with no utensils] 

  Andre Trochard : Knife! Fork! How am I supposed to eat that?

  Joseph : [matter-of-factly]  You eat it like an apple.

  [Joseph gives him a look like this is common knowledge] 

• Joseph : If you don't mind my saying so, Albert, he's got it all over you.

• Jules : The defense... rests. How's that for a defense?

  Joseph : It reminds me of my lawyer.

• Joseph : It's true. He died in his sleep.

  Felix Ducotel : That was very considerate of him.

  Amelie Ducotel : I don't know what to do.

  Felix Ducotel : The first thing to do is make sure that he's dead. I don't trust him.

• Joseph : [Referring to the Ducotels]  People like that - how can you cut their throats?

  Albert : [Dryly]  It isn't easy.

• Albert : Now I've really lost her.

  Joseph : You never really had her.

• Andre Trochard : You men are murderers.

  Joseph : Not me. I'm a maniac.

• Amelie Ducotel : I can't believe it - Andre dead.

  Joseph : It happens to everybody.

• Amelie Ducotel : It's you?

  Joseph : How could I be anybody else?

• Jules : It isn't fair. Here we are, three desperate criminals who'll stop at nothing to escape from Devil's Island, and we have to fall in with nice people.

  Joseph : You guys act like you don't wanna cut their throats.