Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963)

Hugh Beaumont: Ward Cleaver

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Ward Cleaver : How'd the fishing go Beav?

  Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : Great Dad. We didn't catch any fish, but Larry and I saw a man slip on a wet rock and heard everything he said.

• Ward Cleaver : I'm going to change my clothes and finish painting those trash cans myself; the boys ran out on the job.

  June Cleaver : Well dear you can't blame them too much, they went over to see the big fire at the lumber yard.

  Ward Cleaver : Fire?

  June Cleaver : Yes, they couldn't resist it, and after all they are just boys.

  Ward Cleaver : Tom Corton's lumber yard?

  June Cleaver : Yes, it's been on the radio. Why, they've called out fire companies from all over.

  Ward Cleaver : Well it must be quite a fire.

  June Cleaver : Yes, it must be.

  Ward Cleaver : June, I wonder if you'd go out to the garage and put those brushes in some turpentine, I won't be too long. (Rushes out the back door.)

  June Cleaver : Once a boy always a boy.

• Ward Cleaver : Beaver, you know what Larry was doing was wrong. You could have stopped him.

  Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : Gee, Dad, I have enough trouble keeping myself good without keeping all the other kids good.

• [Ward has opened the car door for June to enter] 

  June Cleaver : Thank you dear. It's so sweet of you to be the thoughtful husband after all these years.

  Ward Cleaver : You're very welcome. Besides the neighbors might be watching.

• Ward Cleaver : Ah, June, Gilbert's always talking about his parents. Have you ever met them?

  June Cleaver : Oh, I see her at the supermarket every once in a while. She seems like a calm sensible person.

  Ward Cleaver : You can't really go by that. You might look the same way to her.

• [June has prepared a lovely dinner of barbecued pork ribs] 

  Ward Cleaver : Well, you boys are very quiet tonight. What are you thinking about?

  Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : I was just thinkin' what I'd do if I was a pig eatin' peoples ribs.

  June Cleaver : Beaver, please.

• June Cleaver : Dear, do you think all parents have this much trouble?

  Ward Cleaver : No, just parents with children.

• [Ward has arrived home from work and is reading the mail in the living room, unbeknownst to June and Wally who have just come down the stairs] 

  June Cleaver : Now Wally, I want you to go in the living room and pick up those orange peels that you left on the coffee table. If your father comes home and sees them he'll be in a terrible mood all through dinner.

  Wally Cleaver : Yeah, I don't want him hollerin' at me again.

  [June sees Ward in the living room, who has overheard their exchange] 

  June Cleaver : [sheepishly]  Hello Dear. I was upstairs, I didn't know you were home.

  Ward Cleaver : Oh yes, the monster has returned to his cave.

• Wally Cleaver : Hi Dad. I didn't do anything.

  Ward Cleaver : Why do you say that?

  Wally Cleaver : Well, I don't know, but, uh, you have that look on your face like somebody did something.

• [Ward is sharing the story of Pandora's Box with the boys] 

  Ward Cleaver : According to Greek Mythology, she's responsible for all of Man's troubles.

  Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : She must be like Judy Hensler.

• Wally Cleaver : Gee Dad, how come you know so much about buying cars?

  Ward Cleaver : Well, Wally, as unbelievable as it may seem they did have cars in my younger days.

  Wally Cleaver : Used cars?

• Ward Cleaver : Let's face it, June, Wally and Eddie have been friends for four or five years now - nothing's ever really happed.

  June Cleaver : But Eddie has that look about him that makes you think something's always about to happen.

• [Fred has walked to the Cleaver's to catch a ride to work with Ward] 

  Fred Rutherford : I hate to mention it, but this neighborhood's getting a little on the rough side.

  Ward Cleaver : Oh?

  Fred Rutherford : Yes. Coming down the block just now, a kid yelled, "Hey skinhead" at me.

• Ward Cleaver : Sometimes I wish I had stayed single and raised silver foxes.

• Ward Cleaver : A man never gets so old, that he forgets how it was being a little boy.

• Ward Cleaver : Wally, believe it or not, I was your age once.

• Ward Cleaver : It's that friend of Beaver's. You know, the one who always talks like he was just frightened by something.

  June Cleaver : Whitey Whitney?

  Ward Cleaver : That's it.

• [repeated line] 

  Ward Cleaver : Oh, fine!

• [repeated line] 

  Ward Cleaver : Beaver, your mother and I are very disappointed in you.