Desk Set (1957)

Spencer Tracy: Richard Sumner

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Sumner answers the phone while the girls are at a Christmas party] 

  Richard Sumner : Hello? Santa Claus's reindeer? Uh, why yes I can... let's see, there's Dopey, Sneezy, Grouchy, Happy, Sleepy, uh Rudolph, and Blitzen! You're welcome!

• Bunny Watson : I've read every New York newspaper backward and forward for the past 15 years. I don't smoke, I only drink champagne when I'm lucky enough to get it, my hair is naturally natural, I live alone - and so do you.

  Richard Sumner : How do you know that?

  Bunny Watson : Because you're wearing one brown sock and one black sock.

• [Richard gives Bunny a personality test] 

  Richard Sumner : Now what is the first thing you notice in a person?

  Bunny Watson : Whether the person is male or female.

• Bunny Watson : Just for kicks. You don't have to answer it if you don't want to. I mean, don't dwell on the question, but I warn you there's a trick in it: If six Chinamen get off a train at Las Vegas, and two of them are found floating face down in a goldfish bowl, and the only thing they can find to identify them are two telephone numbers - one, Plaza Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh, and the other, Columbus Oh-1492 - what time did the train get to Palm Springs?

  Richard Sumner : Nine o'clock.

  Bunny Watson : Now, would you mind telling me how you happened to get that?

  Richard Sumner : Well, there are eleven letters in Palm Springs. You take away two Chinamen, that leaves nine.

  Bunny Watson : You're a sketch, Mr. Sumner.

  Richard Sumner : You're not so bad yourself.

• Mr. Azae : You don't care whether you impress people or not, do you?

  Richard Sumner : You wait until you get my bill. You'll be impressed.

• Richard Sumner : [watching the computer result on "Corfu", which is mistaken as "curfew"]  What the devil is this?

  Bunny Watson : [also having a look]  It's the poem, "Curfew Shall Not Ring Tonight." Isn't that nice?

  Bunny Watson : [reciting]  "Cromwell will not come till sunset, and her lips grew strangely white... as she breathed the husky whisper, curfew must not a-ring tonight."

  Miss Warriner : [while Bunny goes on]  Mr. Sumner, what can I do?

  Richard Sumner : Nothing. You know you can't interrupt her...

  [the computer] 

  Richard Sumner : ...in the middle of a sequence.

  Miss Warriner : Yes, but, Mr. Sumner...

  Richard Sumner : Quiet! Just listen.

  Bunny Watson : "She had listened while the judges read, without a tear or sigh, at the ringing of the curfew, Basil Underwood must die."

  Richard Sumner : Uh, how long does this go on?

  Bunny Watson : That old poem has about 80 stanzas to it.

  Richard Sumner : Where are we now?

  Bunny Watson : "She has reached the topmost ladder. O'er her hangs the great dark bell, awful is the gloom beneath her like the pathway down to hell. Lo, the ponderous tongue is swinging. 'Tis the hour of curfew now, and the sight has chilled her bosom, stopped her breath and paled her brow."

  [telephone rings] 

  Bunny Watson : "Shall she let it ring? No, never! Flash her eyes with sudden light, as she springs and grasps it firmly...

  [answers the phone] 

  Bunny Watson : ...curfew shall not ring tonight!"

  [audible click] 

  Bunny Watson : They hung up. And I know another one! "Out she swung, far out, the city seemed a speck of light..."

• Richard Sumner : That's correct!

  Bunny Watson : Yes, I know.

• Richard Sumner : You were late this morning.

  Bunny Watson : I know, but it's all right - I brought a note from my mother.

• Richard Sumner : Tough question?

  Bunny Watson : No... (chewing)... Tough roast beef.

• Mike Cutler : [to Richard Sumner]  I suppose I should have called first?

  Richard Sumner : Yes, do that next time.

• Richard Sumner : I'll bet you write beautiful letters.

• Bunny Watson : Don't you like women?

  Richard Sumner : Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. I like women, specifically as a sex and specifically.

• Richard Sumner : This office of yours is bigger than the whole research department.

  Mr. Azae : Well, it's supposed to be. If the office of the president isn't big enough to impress the sponsors, then there's nothing for the girls down in Research to research.

• Richard Sumner : [reading a math problem to test Bunny]  Now, a train started out at Grand Central, with seventeen passengers aboard and a crew of nine. At 125th Street, four got off and nine got on. At White Plains, three got off and one got on. At Chappaqua, nine got off and four got on. And at each successive stop thereafter, nobody got off, nobody got on till the train reached its next-to-the-last stop, where five people got off and one got on. Then it reached the terminal.

  Bunny Watson : That's easy. Eleven passengers and a crew of nine.

  Richard Sumner : Uh, w... That's not the question.

  Bunny Watson : I'm sorry.

  Richard Sumner : How many people got off at Chappaqua?

  Bunny Watson : Nine.

  Richard Sumner : [stunned]  That's correct.

  Bunny Watson : Yes, I know.

  Richard Sumner : Uh, would you mind telling me how you arrived at that conclusion?

  Bunny Watson : Spooky, isn't it? Did you notice that there are also nine letters in Chappaqua?

  Richard Sumner : Are you in the habit of associating words with the number of letters in them?

  Bunny Watson : I associate many things with many things.

  Richard Sumner : I see. Hmm.

  Bunny Watson : Aren't you going to ask me how many people got off at White Plains? Three.

  Richard Sumner : But there are ten letters in White Plains.

  Bunny Watson : No. Eleven.

  Richard Sumner : [beat]  But only three got off there.

  Bunny Watson : You see, I've only ever been to White Plains three times in my whole life.

  Richard Sumner : Well, supposing you'd only been there twice.

  Bunny Watson : But I wasn't. I was there three times. Aren't you gonna ask me how many people got on at Croton Falls?

  Richard Sumner : There is no Croton Falls mentioned at all in the question.

  Bunny Watson : No, but it is the next-to-the-last stop on that line. Anyway, one.

• Richard Sumner : Will you hold this tape for me please?

  [hands Miss Blair the end of a tape measure] 

  Sylvia Blair : 35-24-35.

  Richard Sumner : And very nice too. I mean, hold it against the wall.

• Bunny Watson : What do you do?

  Richard Sumner : I'm a methods engineer.

  Bunny Watson : Is that a sort of efficiency expert?

  Richard Sumner : Well, that term is a bit obsolete now.

  Bunny Watson : Oh. Forgive me. I'm so sorry. I'm the old-fashioned type.

• Richard Sumner : What are they gonna think of me hanging around there? They'll think I'm a Peeping Tom.

• Richard Sumner : All clear?

  Bunny Watson : You can tell those five other guys they can come out from under the bed.

• Richard Sumner : Something about the way you wear that pencil in your hair spells money.

• Richard Sumner : Caroline was a model. Five feet ten in her stockinged feet.

  Bunny Watson : You had occasion to measure her?

  Richard Sumner : Among other things, yes, yes.

• Richard Sumner : Now, do you notice anything unusual about the following sentence: "Able was I, ere I saw Elba."

  Bunny Watson : Um, no. But... I doubt that Napoleon ever said anything like that.

  [He smiles a little smugly] 

  Bunny Watson : Unless you mean because it's spelled the same way backward and forward. Is that what you meant? What do they call it? A...

  Richard Sumner : [a touch disappointed]  A palindrome.

  Bunny Watson : Mmm. I know another: "Madam, I'm Adam."

  Richard Sumner : I doubt if he ever said that.