Henry Jones: Henry Rufus
Photos
Quotes
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Henry Rufus : [watching reporters swarm a movie star] What's Rita saying?... Turn on the TV.
Rock Hunter : Which station?
Henry Rufus : Any station! It's like when the president speaks.
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Henry Rufus : If talent had anything to do with success, Brooks Brothers would go out of business. Television studios would be turned into supermarkets. We are talking about success, a world where fancy foreign cars replace subways and bus transfers. Where all women are beautiful and willing. A world created, designed and running like a charm for those few who've scaled the heights, broken through the soundy barrier, by whatever fashion, but invariably by being at the right place at the right time, when success, like a crock of cherries, comes crashing down on the head of fortune's child, as it did on yours. There she was, an actress fresh from the shores of Romanoff's. There were you, with a hangover, fresh from the steam baths, standing on the threshold, the veritable threshold of success. I rest my case, and may it be Napoleon Brandy.
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[last lines]
Rock Hunter : We've learned that success - is just the art of being happy. And being happy is - well, being happy is just...
Rock Hunter , Rita Marlowe , Henry Rufus , Violet , Jenny Wells , April Hunter , Irving La Salle Jr. : The very living end.
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Henry Rufus : Gladys talks too much. I ought to get rid of her, but she has it on me ever since I got juiced up at that Christmas party and made a couple of passes at her IBM machine.
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Rock Hunter : [singing] Stay-Put Lipstick stays put-put, Stay-Put, Stay-Put, Stay-Put, If on your lips you'll only put, Stay-Put, Stay-Put, Stay-Put, You'll kiss-kiss here, You'll kiss-kiss there, Here, there, everywhere, Stay-Put Lipstick stays put-put, Stay-Put, Stay-Put, Stay-Put.
[speaking]
Rock Hunter : You have to imagine it sung by three chickens, Rufe.
Henry Rufus : Singing commercials are dead, Rocky boy.
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Rock Hunter : Hi, Rufe. Must be your fifth tranquilliser by now.
Henry Rufus : Gladys also tell you I drank my lunch? She forgets I eat the olives. That's where the nourishment is.
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Henry Rufus : What's the matter, Rocky boy? No kopecks put aside?
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Henry Rufus : My Evelyn, she was a perfectly normal juvenile delinquent until she got a breakdown. Rock-n-Roll got to her. Now I take her to the analyst three times a week. The bills! The man must be building a monument to Freud. But, that's the way the banana splits.
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Henry Rufus : You can always write TV scripts. You know, expand the one-line joke into the hour-and-a-half spectacular.
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Henry Rufus : You girdle popper, you.
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Henry Rufus : [on the phone to Earl] I'll ask him.
[to Rock]
Henry Rufus : He wants to know Rita's measurements.
Rock Hunter : How would I know?
Henry Rufus : [on the phone Earl] He doesn't know, it was dark. Okay, Earl, he'll appreciate that.
[to Rock]
Henry Rufus : He's sending you a tape measure.
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Henry Rufus : We're on the gravy choo-choo, chickie.
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Henry Rufus : This is Miss Carstairs. She's new here.
Miss Carstairs : Good morning, Mr Hunter.
Rock Hunter : Good morning, Miss Carstairs.
Miss Carstairs : [leans in] If you want anything, just call.
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Henry Rufus : Really stacked, that Carstairs dishy, huh?
Rock Hunter : Attractive.
Henry Rufus : She's on the 80 proof side but you're a drinking man.
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Henry Rufus : Take a gandy at this, laddie.
Rock Hunter : The key.
Henry Rufus : Your key to the executive powder room.
Rock Hunter : Wow.
Henry Rufus : You're gonna love that liquid soap. It's imported.
