Houseboat (1958)

Cary Grant: Tom Winters

Photos 

Quotes 

• Robert Winters : That's you, sir.

  Tom Winters : Who, sir? Me, sir?

  Cinzia Zaccardi : Yes, sir. You, sir.

• Tom Winters : [after punishing his son]  Well, now where were we?

  Cinzia Zaccardi : [She turns on the spray paint and sprays him in the face on purpose]  Oops.

  Tom Winters : Thank you, Michelangelo. Thank you.

• Tom Winters : Well, you must have had a lot of experience raising children.

  Cinzia Zaccardi : No, I have no experience. But I know when a little child is unhappy. I know, and how I know, when a father is unreasonable. Try to be a parent, not a policeman.

  Tom Winters : I don't know what you know about parents. But I imagine you've had a wide acquaintance amongst policemen.

  [Cinzia slaps him] 

  Tom Winters : I'll have to call one if you keep that up.

• Cinzia Zaccardi : Where is their mother?

  Tom Winters : What did you say?

  Cinzia Zaccardi : Their mother?

  Tom Winters : You are looking at her. I'm a little new at the job.

• Tom Winters : How long is it since you had a bath?

  Cinzia Zaccardi : Che cosa?

  Tom Winters : A bath! You look as if you need a good scrubbing.

• Tom Winters : You'll get a spanking you'll never forget.

  Cinzia Zaccardi : Oh, yes. A *spanking* solves so many things. Or a slap in the face. It's so much easier than understanding.

• Tom Winters : I'm delighted you're the belle of the ball, but ,may I have this next dance?

  Cinzia Zaccardi : Oh, yes.

  Tom Winters : My recollection is a little hazy, but, I believe I'm the fellow who brought you.

  Cinzia Zaccardi : Oh, yes, you are the *stuffy* one.

• Tom Winters : I think I should apologize for the behavior of the upper classes in America.

  Cinzia Zaccardi : They behave like the upper classes in Italy, also the lower classes.

• Tom Winters : There's nothing wrong with kerosene lamps. As a matter of fact, they're rather quaint.

  Tom Winters : [bumps into a chair] 

  David Winters : But you can't see good with them.

  Tom Winters : Of course you can.

  Tom Winters : [bumps into a box] 

  David Winters : I warned you.

• Cinzia Zaccardi : You see? When a fish comes, the bell rings and announces his arrival. Isn't it nice?

  Tom Winters : Very nice. But tell me, do you think if you attach one end to a dust rag, the fish might dust the furniture for you?

• Tom Winters : It happens that I care. I don't want my kids parceled out like cabbages.

• Tom Winters : How are you and John getting along these days?

  Carolyn Gibson : Well, it's one of those modern marriages. Electric blankets and everything.

• Cinzia Zaccardi : Arriveiderci, Roberto.

  Robert Winters : Roberto's me. It's Italian.

  Tom Winters : Is it really?

• Angelo Donatello : Did you make up your mind about the boat? Do you want to rent? Do you want to buy? Do you want to make a deal?

  Tom Winters : It's a leaky, broken-down soggy derelict that'll probably sink and dump us all in the river. But I wouldn't think of living any other place.

• Tom Winters : Cinzia, come on. Your date is here, *straining* at the leash.

• Angelo Donatello : My brother once took a dame like that to the Sons of Italy ball. Boom - he's married.

  Tom Winters : Oh, boom.

  Angelo Donatello : And ever since, he's been having sons of Italy all over the place. You know what I mean? Six kids, doctor bills, his wife getting fat and sloppy. I mean, who needs it?

• Cinzia Zaccardi : Me? I?

  Tom Winters : Yes.

  Cinzia Zaccardi : With you?

  Tom Winters : Me. I.

• Angelo Donatello : Is the dame ready?

  Tom Winters : The lady is finishing dressing.

• Tom Winters : I'm certain you wouldn't do anything to embarrass me - or would you?

• Tom Winters : I know how you feel. But nothing ever stays exactly the same. Everything changes. Everybody has to leave. Everybody, sooner or later, and it's not so bad. Everything's different, but it's not so bad. You'll all be leaving me before long, and I have to get used to that. You can't remain children forever, no matter how much you want to.

  Elizabeth Winters : Oh, why do you talk so much?

• Tom Winters : Think what the world would be like if nothing ever died. There'd be no room for the new and the young and beautiful that's being born all the time.

• Tom Winters : Everything is constantly changing. So perhaps when our souls leave our bodies, we go back into God's universe in the security of being part of all life again and of all nature. So, for all we know, that sort of life after death may be very beautiful.

  David Winters : If you say so. Hey, Pop.

  Tom Winters : What?

  David Winters : Don't do anything beautiful for a while, will you?

  Tom Winters : I'll try not to.

  David Winters : And give up smoking. It's bad for older people.

• Tom Winters : Go to your room. You're not gonna get anything to eat tonight.

  David Winters : Thanks. I'm trying to lose weight.