- Stella: You're hurtin' my arm.
- Joseph B. 'Joe' Chapin: I frequently hurt people without meaning to. It's my specialty.
- Ann Chapin: Where have you been?
- Joseph B. 'Joe' Chapin: Hotel in town, where I got drunk.
- Ann Chapin: Never occurred to you to let me know where you were?
- Joseph B. 'Joe' Chapin: It occurred to me.
- Stella: Say, whatcha doin'? Gettin' drunk all by yourself?
- Joseph B. 'Joe' Chapin: That's the general idea.
- Joseph B. 'Joe' Chapin: I wouldn't have made much of a president but I could at least have been a good father.