Carry on Teacher (1959)

Hattie Jacques: Grace Short

Photos 

Quotes 

• Grace Short : Mr Wakefield, these children discovered you were planning to leave. They don't want you to leave. It's as simple as that. They feel, as does the entire school, that Maudlin Street wouldn't be the same without you. They thought of getting up a petition, but decided that wasn't certain to succeed. Besides such an action was considered by them to be soft, not the Maudlin Street way. So, with all the circumstances in their favour, they decided to make sure you would never obtain a post anywhere else, and launched their campaign to that end, with the whole school behind them. You may wish to proceed with punishing these boys. Personally, I would count my years in the profession well spent if they do half as much to make me stay among them.

• [Grace Short believes that the answer to all problems with children is to cane them] 

  Grace Short : There's only one thing to do - WHACK!

  Edwin Milton : Extraordinary theory - you bend a child double in order to get an upright character.

• Grace Short : [upon entering her classroom where all the students are at their desks, and walking around the room]  There's been some trouble this morning. There isn't going to be any trouble in *my* classes. The first of you... to talk... or move, out of turn... or in any way disrupt...

  [Miss Short abruptly stops at Atkins' desk] 

  Grace Short : Atkins.

  [Atkins stands, and as Miss Short holds out her right hand, Atkins gives her a handshake] 

  Grace Short : [in holding out her hand again]  What's that?

  John Atkins - Saboteur : Your hand, Miss.

  Grace Short : [raising an eyebrow]  Right! What size is it?

  John Atkins - Saboteur : [in a questioning tone]  Outsize?

  Grace Short : [after some giggling by another student which is shot down by her glare]  Smack size! Do I make myself clear?