- [first lines]
- R.J. Dobson: Good evening friends. Let me invite you for a stroll down graveyard lane, where beauty and love abide. And in death, we are born into eternal life.
- Carl: Oh, I just wondered if Lew's assignment was as weird as mine.
- Bob: Weird? Yeah, I guess that is the word for it... weird.
- Lewis B. Moffitt: Do you remember that nightmare I had? I said I didn't know what it meant.
- Carl: Yeah.
- Lewis B. Moffitt: Well I didn't, but I do now. When I was 8 years old, my grandfather died. The coffin was in the living room. The night before the funeral I begged my mother to leave the light on in my room and she wouldn't do it. And I cried, and she told me that if I didn't stop my grandfather'd get up and give me a licking! And then she turned out the light and she left me. I laid there all night in the dark, listening to all the sounds... scared to death that body'd get up and come into my room.
- Tiny: [after being informed he has to skip meals for a week for his hazing] Ah no, that's too much. I quit! Here, you can have my saccharin bottle and take back your assignment. I don't wanna be anybody's brother that bad. Besides, I already got me a brother, and I got a sister, too. I'm gonna go find Ragdoll 'cause she likes me just the way I am!
- Bob: Now wait a minute, Tiny. Wait a minute.
- Tiny: What do you want?
- Bob: Ya passed!
- Tiny: Yeah?
- Bob: I was just kiddin' ya. You passed your initiation. You're one of us!