Kissin' Cousins (1964)

Jack Albertson: Captain Robert Salbo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Captain Robert Salbo : Madam, words fail me. Your culinary talents supersede the most exotic cuisine.

  Ma Tatum : You don't like it.

  Captain Robert Salbo : Oh, no, no, no, on the contrary...

  Josh Morgan : He means he'd like some more, Ma.

  Ma Tatum : Oh, that's good.

  Pappy Tatum : Good! Good! I like to see a young fella who's a good eater.

  Captain Robert Salbo : I must say, in all my travels, I never tasted anything quite like it.

  Ma Tatum : You ain't never?

  Captain Robert Salbo : Unh-uhnmm!

  [meaning "No"] 

  Ma Tatum : Aw shucks, it ain't nothing but possum tails, owl gizzards, and grits fried in bear grease. And then that there gravy, that's just goat's milk with vulture eggs and mashed catfish eyes.

  Pappy Tatum : The catfish eyes brings out the flavor of the possum tails.

  [Capt. Salbo turns green] 

  Captain Robert Salbo : Excuse me. I think I forgot something in my jeep.

  Pappy Tatum : Why did he leave in such a hurry? Did something just come up?

  Josh Morgan : Not yet, Mr. Tatum, but I think it might.

• Captain Robert Salbo : How I long for the days when all I had was a war to worry about!

• Captain Robert Salbo : It's part of our national defense system. You know, I-C-B-M.

  Pappy Tatum : You-see-B-M, too? How can everybody see it but me?

• Josh Morgan : They won't be used at all unless somebody starts a war against us. See?

  Pappy Tatum : Oh, you mean if there's a feud.

  Josh Morgan : Yeah.

  Captain Robert Salbo : Yeah, we protect our country - like you do against the Revenuers.

  Pappy Tatum : Oh, I see.

  Selena Tatum : You-see-B-M now too, Pappy?

  Pappy Tatum : I think so.

• Captain Robert Salbo : Mr. Tatum, don't you get the newspapers up here?

  Pappy Tatum : Oh, sure. We use them to patch the holes in the wall.

• Josh Morgan : I'm no typist. I don't think anybody else up here is.

  Captain Robert Salbo : All right, well, tomorrow when you go down for the mail and supplies, pick up a steno clerk and a typewriter.

• Captain Robert Salbo : What's the meaning of this - this outrage?

  Midge : Well - w-w-well sir, I'm a stenographer, not a spy!