The Nutty Professor (1963)

Buddy Lester: Bartender

Quotes 

• Purple Pit Bartender : What'll it be?

  Buddy Love : Aww... That's no way to talk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. "What'll it be?" That's no way to treat a customer. C'mere. Try it like this. Pay attention. You'll feel better and the customers'll be happier. Try this: "What'll it be? Hmmm?" Try that. Come on. We haven't got all night. Try it.

  Purple Pit Bartender : What'll it be? Hmmm?

  Buddy Love : Good! That was wonderful. Did anyone ever tell you you couldn't sing?

• Buddy Love : All right, let's continue. A shot of vermouth.

  Purple Pit Bartender : [continues mixing the drink]  A shot of vermouth...

  Buddy Love : A shot of gin.

  Purple Pit Bartender : A little gin...

  Buddy Love : A little brandy.

  Purple Pit Bartender : A little brandy...

  Buddy Love : Lemon peel.

  Purple Pit Bartender : A lemon peel...

  Buddy Love : Orange peel.

  Purple Pit Bartender : Some orange peel...

  Buddy Love : Sherry.

  [Bartender look at Buddy in shock] 

  Buddy Love : Some more scotch.

  Purple Pit Bartender : Some more scotch.

  Buddy Love : Now mix it nice and pour it into a tall glass.

  [the bartender shakes up Buddy's drink, then places the tall glass by him] 

  Purple Pit Bartender : Hey, I've never tried one of these. Do you mind if I take a sip?

  Buddy Love : No, go right ahead.

  Purple Pit Bartender : [Bartender pours a small helping in a small glass, then sips it]  Not bad.

• Purple Pit Bartender : [Arrives with several bottles of spirits; to Buddy]  Did you say a Polar Bear Heater?

  Buddy Love : No, YOU said it! I said an Alaskan Polar Bear Heater.

  Purple Pit Bartender : I never heard of that.

  Buddy Love : Until now.

  Purple Pit Bartender : [mumbles]  Until now.

  Buddy Love : All right, pay attention. Two shots of vodka.

  Purple Pit Bartender : [starts mixing the drink]  Two shots of vodka...

  Buddy Love : A little rum.

  Purple Pit Bartender : A little rum...

  Buddy Love : Some bitters...

  Purple Pit Bartender : Some bitters...

  Buddy Love : And a smidgen of vinegar.

  Purple Pit Bartender : [grabs the vinegar]  A smidgen of... Are you gonna drink this here or you're gonna take it home and rub it on your chest?

  Buddy Love : Hey, that was terrific! Hey, did ya hear that, folks? A regular George Bernard Shaw. Good boy! And he did it all by himself. You did all by yourself and nobody helped you. That's terrific...

  [insulted and angry] 

  Buddy Love : and with your very own big mouth! Now if you don't want this cocktail shaker to be a part of your gums, mix the drink, shut your mouth and pay attention. Is that clear? Repeat after me. I'll...

  Purple Pit Bartender : I'll...

  Buddy Love : I'll pay...

  Purple Pit Bartender : I'll pay...

  Buddy Love : I'll pay attention.

  Purple Pit Bartender : I'll pay attention.