The Silence (1963)

Ingrid Thulin: Ester

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Quotes 

• Ester : I didn't want to accept my wretched role. But now it's too damn lonely. We try out attitudes and find them all worthless. The forces are all too strong. I mean the forces... the horrible forces. You need to watch your step among all the ghosts and memories.

  Ester : All this talk... There's no need to discuss loneliness. It's a waste of time.

• Ester : Erectile tissue... it's all a matter of swollen tissue and secretion; a confession before extreme unction. Semen smells nasty to me. I've a very keen sense of smell and I stank like rotten fish when I was fertilized.

• [first lines] 

  Johan : [points to a sign]  What does that mean?

  Ester : I don't know.

• Ester : No, I don't want to die like this. I don't want to suffocate. Oh, that was horrible. Now I'm frightened. That scared me. That mustn't happen again.

  Ester : Where's the doctor? Must I die all alone?

• Ester : What have I done to deserve this?

  Anna : Nothing in particular. It's just that you always harp on your principles and drone on about how important everything is. But it's all just hot air. You know why? I'll tell you. Everything centers around your ego. You can't live without feeling superior. That's the truth. Everything has to be desperately important and meaningful... and goodness knows what.

  Ester : How else are we to live?

  Anna : I used to think you were right. I tried to be like you, because I admired you. I didn't realize you disliked me.

  Ester : That's not true.

  Anna : Oh, yes, it is. You always have. I just never realized it before.

  Ester : No.

  Anna : Yes. And in some way you're afraid of me

  Ester : I'm not afraid of you. I love you.

  Anna : You always talk a lot about love.

  Ester : You can't say...

  Anna : What can't I say? That Ester feels hatred? That's just a silly idea of mine, right? You hate me, just like you hate yourself. Me, and everything that's mine. You're full of hate.

  Ester : That's not true.

  Anna : With all your education and all the fancy books you've translated, can you answer me one thing? When Father died, you said, "I don't want to go on living." So, why are you still around? Is it for my sake? For Johan's? For your work, perhaps? Or for no reasoning particular?

  Ester : It's not like you say. I'm sure you've got it all wrong.

  Anna : Don't use that tone of voice! Get out! Leave me alone!

  Ester : Poor Anna!

  Anna : Why don't you shut up?

  Ester : [smiling and caressing Anna]  Poor Anna!

  [leaves the room] 

• Anna : I went to the cinema and sat in a box at the back. A man and a woman made love right in front of me. When they were finished, they left. A man came in, someone I'd met at the bar. He sat down next to me and started stroking my thighs. Then we had intercourse on the floor. That's how my dress got dirty.

  Ester : Is that true?

  Anna : Why would I lie?

  Ester : Right. Why would you?

  Anna : It so happens that I was lying.

  Ester : It doesn't matter.

  Anna : I sat and watched that couple make love. Then I went to the bar and this man left with me. I didn't know where to go, so we went into a church. We had intercourse in a dark corner behind some pillars. It was cooler there.

  Ester : I see.

  Anna : This time I'll make sure I get my clothes off first.

• Johan : Why doesn't Mommy want to be with us?

  Ester : Oh, but she does.

  Johan : No, she leaves whenever she can.

  Ester : She's just gone out for a walk.

  Johan : No, she hasn't.

  Ester : She hasn't?

  Johan : She's with somebody. They kissed and kissed. Then they went into a room. I saw them myself.

  Ester : Are you sure about that?

  Johan : I saw them.