Advance to the Rear (1964)

Stella Stevens: Martha Lou Williams

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Quotes 

• Martha Lou : All right. Let's say, just for the moment, that I *am* a spy.

  Heath : A very pretty one, too.

  Martha Lou : That would make us enemies, Jared.

  Heath : Yeah, of course it would. And, we'd be starting out at a point in marriage that takes some couples twenty or thirty years to achieve!

• Martha Lou : Well, aren't you something? First you break into my cabin with that disgusting display of animal lust. Then you accuse me of being a spy. And now, all of a sudden, I'm the only girl in the world for you.

  Heath : Well, that's the way it goes, sometimes.

  Martha Lou : Well, that's not the way it's going to go this time. So, you just better pull yourself and put me outta your evil little mind.

  Heath : It's a little late for that, isn't it?

• Martha Lou : Do you always just stand calmly by when you see a lady being molested?

  Heath : Oh, you'd be surprised how few ladies I've seen molested. Matter of fact, the last time was about seven years ago.

  Martha Lou : Well, what did you do then?

  Heath : Well, I, uh... I walks over to her and asks if I could be of some assistance, and she just slaps my face, like you did to that fella there. Told me to mind my own business.

  Martha Lou : Oh.

  Heath : Then this fella she's with, he starts to workin' me over, and between the two of 'em, they convert me to mindin' my own business, once and for all.

• Heath : Well, you're just about everything I've been lookin' for in a woman, so, even though you are a Confederate spy, I guess I'm just going to have to forgive you.

  Martha Lou : What do you mean I'm everything you've looked for?

  Heath : Well, not everything - but, you're close enough.

• Martha Lou : Well, all right. Unhook me, will you.

  Heath : Well, aren't you going to scream or anything?

  Martha Lou : Scream? For what?

  Heath : That's right. No need to play games. After all, we've both been around.

• Col. Claude Brackenbury : You know, Miss Williams, if it wasn't for that dear little woman that's been waiting for me back in Boston, I'd be *sorely* tempted to...

  Martha Lou : Just what would you do?