Kiss Me, Stupid (1964)

Kim Novak: Polly The Pistol

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dino : Did you hear a story about the girl and the lobster?

  Orville J. Spooner : No, how's it go?

  Dino : Well, this girl was sittin' in a movie house and this guy sat down next to her, and they were sittin' in the dark, and they were watchin' the picture, see? And suddenly she felt somethin' crawling up her leg and

  [pinches Polly] 

  Dino : pinched her!

  Polly the Pistol : [jumping]  Ouch!

  Orville J. Spooner : Go on!

  Dino : Then she felt something crawling again and

  [pinches Polly] 

  Dino : pinched her again! She said, "What is the idea, you pinching me?" And he said, "Well, it wasn't me...

  [laughing] 

  Dino : it was my lobster!"

  Orville J. Spooner : [laughing]  His lobster?

  Dino : He explained it. He said, "A friend of mine gave me a live lobster and I said, 'Gee, that's wonderful, I think I'll take it home for dinner!' He said, 'No, it already had dinner...

  [laughing] 

  Dino : why don't you take it to a movie?'"

• Polly the Pistol : It's a nice place you got here.

  Orville J. Spooner : Oh, you'll like it... It's not very big but it's clean.

  Polly the Pistol : What is?

  Orville J. Spooner : What is what?

  Polly the Pistol : I don't know, you brought it up.

• Polly the Pistol : Are you sure you want to be alone with this guy?

  Polly the Pistol : Look, Mister, I got a job to do, and you're in the way.

• Orville J. Spooner : You don't understand. It's not for me. It's for him.

  Polly the Pistol : Who's him?

  Orville J. Spooner : Back there. He's asleep.

  Polly the Pistol : What are we playing, musical chairs? Barney says it's not for him, it's for a friend of his. Now you say it's not for you, it's for a friend of yours.

  Orville J. Spooner : Oh, but he's not exactly a friend. It's more like a business promotion... and he likes action all the time. I got nothing against that, but not with Zelda.

  Polly the Pistol : Who's Zelda?

  Orville J. Spooner : You are!

  Polly the Pistol : Me?

  Orville J. Spooner : It's my wife, but tonight you're her - so you're Zelda.

  Polly the Pistol : What did I get myself into?

• Orville J. Spooner : Not in here. In the bedroom.

  Polly the Pistol : You name it.

  Orville J. Spooner : Don't mind me if I'm a little nervous; but, so much depends on this. I just hope we can swing it.

  Polly the Pistol : We'll do our best.

• Orville J. Spooner : Oh, you just wait till you find out who he is. You'll flip!

  Polly the Pistol : Huh. I will?

  Orville J. Spooner : Oh, boy.

  Polly the Pistol : So who can it be? Richard Burton?

  Orville J. Spooner : No, but you're getting warm.

• Polly the Pistol : How'd you happen to get stranded here?

  Dino : Oh, just lucky, I guess.

• Orville J. Spooner : Domestic, domestic. We've got to make it look domestic. You sit here, and I'll sit here. No, that's not domestic enough. You knit, and I'll read.

  Polly the Pistol : I don't know how to knit.

  Orville J. Spooner : Well, then you read, and I'll knit.

• Orville J. Spooner : You should have a ring. Here, put this on.

  Polly the Pistol : You suppose there's a law against this?

  Orville J. Spooner : Against what?

  Polly the Pistol : Wearing a ring without a license.

• Polly the Pistol : I know that voice from someplace.

  Orville J. Spooner : Of course you do. He's a singer.

  Polly the Pistol : Who?

  Orville J. Spooner : Now don't flip.

  Polly the Pistol : Well, who is it?

  Orville J. Spooner : It's Dino.

  Polly the Pistol : Dino?

  Orville J. Spooner : That's right.

  Polly the Pistol : Hmm. I like Andy Williams better.

• Polly the Pistol : I suppose I've put on a few pounds.

  Dino : Well, don't you worry about it. As far as I'm concerned, there couldn't be enough of you, baby.

• Dino : How come he calls you Lamb Chop?

  Polly the Pistol : Maybe it's because I wear paper panties.

  Dino : Paper panties?

• Polly the Pistol : A woman without a man is like a trailer without a car. You ain't going nowhere. So when you find a good guy, you should stick to him.

• Polly the Pistol : Where were you?

• Polly the Pistol : Are you kidding? I'm not going in any truck.

  Barney : Listen to her. Princess Grace. Get your keister in here!

  Polly the Pistol : You know what you are? No gentleman.

• Polly the Pistol : The last time I took a job like this was July 4th. It was one of those bachelor barbecues with fireworks and everything, and they raffled me off. I went for $83. Except the next day, the check bounced so all I got out of it was a case of poison ivy.

• Orville J. Spooner : Now if you'll just put on one of my wife's dresses.

  Polly the Pistol : What for?

  Orville J. Spooner : Well, that's the only way it'll work. We've got to pretend you're my wife.

  Polly the Pistol : What are you, some kind of a weirdie?