Marriage on the Rocks (1965)

Dean Martin: Ernie Brewer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ernie Brewer : Mr. Turner, if your cars are built half as good as those girls, you're home free.

• Dan Edwards : One of these days all these girls are going to show up at the same time and you are going to get shot.

  Ernie Brewer : Oh but what a cuckoo firing squad.

• Dan Edwards : Why don't you settle down and get married, find a nice girl.

  Ernie Brewer : I did; but, you married her.

  Dan Edwards : Oh, she just picked the better man.

  Ernie Brewer : Yeah and you ought to be ashamed of yourself, eloping with an 18-year old kid and here I am in the twilight of my life, approaching middle age, a lonely bachelor. And what have I got?

  Dan Edwards : Only the best collection of dames in the town.

• Valerie Edwards : Oh, sit down, Ernie, I'm not trying to make a pass at you. I'm merely trying to find out if anything's wrong with me.

  Ernie Brewer : There's nothing wrong with you, Val, you're just as attractive today as you were the day I met you. In fact, I think you're much better looking now than you were then. And if I'm right, you were quite skinny.

  Valerie Edwards : I wasn't skinny, I was 18. There's a difference.

• Ernie Brewer : Now, let me see, an application. The position is secretary. Oh, here it is. Well, it says here your first name is Kitty.

  Kitty : Uh-huh, with two t's.

• Miss Blight : Mr. Brewer, our quota is 30 letters a day. We must make our quota.

  Ernie Brewer : I know what we'll do Miss Blight. Why don't you write them and I'll just sign them.

  Miss Blight : Oh, now, it won't take too long. My shorthand is 150 and my typing is 100.

  Ernie Brewer : And Lola was 38-22-36.

  Miss Blight : I beg pardon?

  Ernie Brewer : I'm just dreaming. Just dreaming!

• Ernie Brewer : Look Dan, you can't force me to stay married to your wife.

• Ernie Brewer : David, give my regards to your parole board.