Carry on Screaming! (1966)

Frank Thornton: Mr. Jones

Quotes 

• Constable Slobotham : [taking notes, about the break-in at the shop, and the dummy being stolen]  Now, what precise time would you say this happened, sir?

  Mr. Jones : How should I know? I was only called out of bed half an hour ago.

  Constable Slobotham : Your bed was that, sir?

  Mr. Jones : No, it was... What difference does it make whose bed it was?

  Constable Slobotham : It might make a difference to somebody, sir.

  Det Sgt. Bung : [arrives in his car]  What's happened here then?

  Constable Slobotham : [looking at the shattered glass window, and shards of glass everywhere.]  I'd say it's a clear case of breaking and entering.

  Det Sgt. Bung : [sarcastically]  No. You don't say.

  Constable Slobotham : And the footprints inside. I was going to examine them closely for any distinguishing marks.

  Det Sgt. Bung : [amazed at his stupidity]  Distinguishing? Can you think of anything more distinguishing than having SIX TOES?