Not with My Wife, You Don't! (1966)

Virna Lisi: Julietta Parodi, Julie Ferris

Photos 

Quotes 

• Juiletta 'Julie' Peroni : With everyone making love, who is fighting the war?

• Tom Ferris : I'm gonna be jammed right to the hatch.

  Julietta 'Julie' Ferris : How much room can it take?

  Tom Ferris : Can what take?

  Julietta 'Julie' Ferris : A little corkscrew. A corkscrew only that big. You can stick it ANYWHERE!

• Tom Ferris : You're Italian, aren't you.

  Juiletta 'Julie' Peroni : Yes.

  Tom Ferris : But, you're blonde.

  Juiletta 'Julie' Peroni : It's not allowed?

  Tom Ferris : Oh, I'm not complaining. But, it's just that I never think of brunettes as blondes. I - I mean Italian. I - I mean it's usually more one way than the other. I mean, whatever the other way was, I like it better your way. Yes, that's what I mean.

• Tom Ferris : Arrivederci. That's Italian.

  Juiletta 'Julie' Peroni : Go to sleep. That's English.

• Tom Ferris : I loved your voice, but, now that I can see, I love where it comes from.

  Juiletta 'Julie' Peroni : I think you're pulling my foot.

  Tom Ferris : You mean, your leg - and I'd love to.

• Juiletta 'Julie' Peroni : He can't be that much of a monster.

  Tom Ferris : He can't, huh? Then why does he sleep in a coffin?

  Juiletta 'Julie' Peroni : Oh, stop.

  Tom Ferris : I mean it. When he orders a Bloody Mary, it's the real thing.

• Juiletta 'Julie' Peroni : Tank, when you're - up there - do you ever think about - about anything happening?

  'Tank' Martin : What's the use of kidding. There isn't one of us that doesn't think about it. The terror. Cold, numbing, terror that you're alive and whole and then - all the sudden, without warning, there you are: married.

• Juiletta 'Julie' Peroni : I am so confused.

  'Tank' Martin : Tom? And me? Well, it's the war Julie, Everything's upside down. The trick is - not to think about it.

  Juiletta 'Julie' Peroni : It's not the war, it's me. I've always wanted two of everything. As a little girl, I was afraid to lose what I loved. Wit two tings, you're - you're always safer. Two blue blankets. Two puppy dogs. Two pussycats.

  'Tank' Martin : You'd a been a smash on the Ark.

• 'Tank' Martin : Tom's had 58 missions. I'd say his nerves are desperately in need of a retuning.

  Juiletta 'Julie' Peroni : He seems fine to me.

  'Tank' Martin : Well, perhaps. But, as his flight commander, I'm afraid I'm going to have to recommend a solid month in Japan. Away from any undue stimulation. And I'm afraid, Lieutenant, that includes you.

• 'Tank' Martin : Alla tua salute.

  Juiletta 'Julie' Peroni : You do speak Italian.

  'Tank' Martin : Well, just enough to get my face slapped.

• 'Tank' Martin : Why do I have the distinct impression I have been the subject of a bit of character assassination?

  Juiletta 'Julie' Peroni : There's been some... target practice.

  'Tank' Martin : Well, I don't know what was said, but, I can assure you that when it comes to the fairer sex, my behavior has always been respectful, considerate and totally lecherous.

• Julietta 'Julie' Ferris : Do you want to marry me? Or, just crawl into my bed?

• Julietta 'Julie' Ferris : Captain Phillips. He's awfully sweet, but...

  Tom Ferris : But, you've got to go!

  Julietta 'Julie' Ferris : Not with busy fingers Phillips.

• Julietta 'Julie' Ferris : I want to be a woman. He wants to be a Colonel.

• Julietta 'Julie' Ferris : Come on! Last one in is a rotten pizza!

• Julietta 'Julie' Ferris : Oh, Tank, Tank. You - you haven't changed a bit. You and - and Cary Grant.

  Tom Ferris : If he only had my charm.

• Julietta 'Julie' Ferris : [at the beach, two young girls walk by]  If you want to go and play, don't feel you're stuck here with Mamma.

  'Tank' Martin : No, I'll stay with Mamma.

  [sees Julie putting on suntan lotion] 

  'Tank' Martin : Mamma Mia!

  Julietta 'Julie' Ferris : I bought this suit for my husband.

  'Tank' Martin : It'll never fit him.

• Julietta 'Julie' Ferris : Open that door or I'll *scream* it down!

• Julietta 'Julie' Ferris : Put your bottle on the table.

  'Tank' Martin : If he puts the girl on the table.

  Tom Ferris : If you put the cigars on the table.

  Julietta 'Julie' Ferris : Alright. Alright.

• Julietta 'Julie' Ferris : He's leaving for Copenhagen in an hour. I'm just packing for him.