The Oscar (1966)

Tony Bennett: Hymie Kelly

Quotes 

• Hymie Kelly : [narrating]  Frankie wanted the town to be aware he was alive and he knew how to do it. Man, he wanted to swallow Hollywood like a cat with a canary. And he did it. The parts got bigger, and Frankie was hooked. Like a junkie shooting pure quicksilver into his veins. Frankie got turned on the wildest narcotic known to mortal man: Success. And he needed larger and larger doses. As the years went by, it became part of his life like air. The attention, the recognition. Now he was somebody. He was always too hungry. Too much and too far ahead of himself. He bought a Rolls before he could afford it. He bought the mansion in Bel Air. He went the route. The interiors were from the best shops on decorators row. Even Sam the houseboy was imported. Frankie played the part for real, the whole image. He had arrived.

• Frankie : I never said anything about creaming Barney Yale.

  Hymie Kelly : Birdseed, daddy!

• Sheriff : Hymie Kelly. Where'd ya get the name Kelly, *Hymie*?

  Hymie Kelly : From my father, Michael Kelly! And he got it from his father, Timothy Kelly! And my mother's name was Sadie Rabinowitz, any more questions?

• Hymie Kelly : [thinking]  You finally made it, Frankie! Oscar night! And here you sit, on top of a glass mountain called "success." You're one of the chosen five, and the whole town's holding its breath to see who won it. It's been quite a climb, hasn't it, Frankie? Down at the bottom, scuffling for dimes in those smokers, all the way to the top. Magic Hollywood! Ever think about it? I do, friend Frankie, I do...

• Hymie Kelly : [narrating]  Frankie found himself married, but, uh, he still couldn't change his feelings about women. So his only avenue was escape. He employed the slimy services of the Hymie Kelly broad-procuring agency. I was running out of numbers! He used 'em like Kleenex! Once, and threw 'em away!

• Hymie Kelly : She died on the table, ya bastard! She died under the knife! She miscarried!

  Frankie Fane : What's that got to do with me?

  Hymie Kelly : It was your baby!

• Hymie Kelly : If you lie down with pigs, you get up smelling like garbage.

• Hymie Kelly : [narrating]  He was living in a posh place just off the Strip. It was a far cry from the motels we used to crawl into. It had hot and cold running everything!

• Frankie Fane : Speaking of broads, whatever happened to Laurel?

  Hymie Kelly : I married her.

  Frankie Fane : Oh yeah? How is she?

  Hymie Kelly : She died.

  Frankie Fane : What'd you say?

  Hymie Kelly : I said she died.

• Sam : He's in a funky mood today.

  Hymie Kelly : Well, you know that pattern, every time he starts a new picture, snarly Fane, the boy-faced dog.

• Sam : Miss Cheryl Barker. Butter would melt in her mouth.

  Hymie Kelly : [laughs]  Why not? She's got a hot mouth.

• Hymie Kelly : [narrating]  But Frankie couldn't face reality because he'd lost touch with it.

• Hymie Kelly : You must be suffering from oxygen starvation!

• Hymie Kelly : Take it easy. It's not gonna help if you get a thrombo!

• Hymie Kelly : Where've you been? They told me you left the network three hours ago!

  Frankie Fane : I took a drive.

  Hymie Kelly : The phones haven't stopped! While you were out playing the part of the Wandering Gentile everyone who wouldn't look our way last week is calling to proclaim buddyhood.

• Frankie : What's the talk around town?

  Hymie Kelly : That you're an ex-pimp and I'm a child molester! I've heard of dirty politics, but this is the lowest!

• Hymie Kelly : Prostitution? What have we got to do with prostitution?

• Hymie Kelly : I hate to leave you by yourself, Frankie. It's supposed to be a swingin' party in the village. Lots of chicks.

• Hymie Kelly : Man, what a scene. Forget it!

• Hymie Kelly : I came, I saw, and he conquered.

• Hymie Kelly : Wow! What a pad!

• Hymie Kelly : Hey, are there always that many broads around?

  Frankie Fane : Wait till the weekend!

  Hymie Kelly : Hey, I'm gonna like it here.

• Frankie Fane : Hymie, fix Kappy a plate of Huevos Rancheros.

  Hymie Kelly : Eggs rancheros coming up in honor of our Mexican friends below the border. Eggs made with chopped green tomatoes, some chilies, and a couple of squirts of Tequila guaranteed to cement inter-American relations.

  Alfred 'Kappy' Kapstetter : Just orange juice.

• Hymie Kelly : Kappy, he was busy trying to save the pieces of Frankie's career. But the word was out, he was box office poison. It was like trying to save Humpty Dumpty. All the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't do it. Neither could Kappy.

• Hymie Kelly : You don't care who else it smears, do you?

  Frankie Fane : Can't make an omelet without breakin' eggs.

• Frankie Fane : You start balkin', I start cuttin' the hired help. And you ain't got a union, baby.

  Hymie Kelly : No, but I've got a patron Saint. Saint Judas.

• Hymie Kelly : The scene to be played: Humble but proud. Color it Sincere. Lights. Camera. Action.

• Hymie Kelly : Can't you reason with Yale?

  Frankie Fane : Sure I can reason with him, but it will take 15,000 green reasons. You tell me where I'm gonna dig up that much logic.

• Hymie Kelly : You know what I did when I ran out this morning, Frankie? I ran and I ran and I didn't even know where I was going. And after a while my face grew cold and I started ballin'. You know what I was cryin' for, Frankie? For all the years that I haven't been me. For all the years that I've been sittin' like an extra nose on your face. What happened to me? When did I die? When did I get buried inside you? I'm so much a part of you, Frankie, that when I shave in the morning I see your face in the mirror.

• Hymie Kelly : Frankie, I'm nothing but a parasite. I've never had the guts to tear myself away from you. I've let you castrate me inch by inch. I'm weak! I'm a leech!

• Hymie Kelly : If there's one thing that somebody can learn from a guy like you, Frankie, it's what I've learned: Don't be afraid to fight dirty.