- Howard Foxhugh: I'm glad you like the car, and we're going to give you a chance to drive it, but you've got to promise me one thing.
- Mike McCoy: Well, let's have it!
- Howard Foxhugh: Don't encourage Cynthia!
- Mike McCoy: Cynthia? What's she got to do with it?
- Howard Foxhugh: Well, I didn't mind you singing for her. That was her birthday present, but now she is talking about marriage, and that, of course, is out of the question.
- Mike McCoy: You're trying to say I'm good enough to drive your car, but I'm not good enough to marry your daughter?
- Howard Foxhugh: Oh, now, Mike, don't put it that way!
- Mike McCoy: I'll put it this way - if I want to marry Cynthia, and she wants to marry me, we'll get married! As for your car, you can drive it yourself!
- Howard Foxhugh: Philip, are you a millionaire?
- Philip: Umm... No?
- Howard Foxhugh: Then shut up and keep writing
- Cynthia Foxhugh: [Cynthia has just driven Mike and his racing car into a pond] Hey! You're all wet! I saw you last night at the Crazy Club, you sing great!
- Mike McCoy: You know you could've got me killed!
- Cynthia Foxhugh: You sure killed me! Oh, and what you do with a song! Do you know it was all I could to to keep from jumping up on that stage.
- Mike McCoy: Aw, knock it off will you? You just demolished me and you stand there yapping as if nothing happened!
- Cynthia Foxhugh: You're cute!
- Mike McCoy: No, you're cute!
- Cynthia Foxhugh: The way you sing, the way you drive, the way you get mad! Mike, I really go for you!
- Mike McCoy: Honey, I'm just about to go for you!
- Cynthia Foxhugh: Oooh! I can hardly wait!
- Mike McCoy: If you're not out of here in about three seconds, I'm gonna put you over my knee, I'm gonna paddle your bottom until it's as red as that jalopy you're driving!
- Cynthia Foxhugh: But I'm only wearing it!
- Mike McCoy: That's good because you're gonna feel it too!
- [Mike steps down from his car and falls deeper in the water to the top of his head]
- Cynthia Foxhugh: [Cynthia laughs] So long, Mike... For now!
- Mike McCoy: [Repeating after Cynthia in snide mockery,] "So long, Mike, for now!"
- Diana St. Clair: As soon as I domesticate you--get you housebroken--you'll be the best husband a girl ever had.
- Mike McCoy: Husband?
- Les: [clangs her cymbals to interrupt the conversation] Over my dead body!
- Larry: [as Mike test drives Foxhugh's Fox 5 car on the racetrack] Sure knows how to handle that car!
- Les: Well, best driver on any track!
- Howard Foxhugh: Yeah, it looks like your plan worked.
- Les: Yeah!
- Howard Foxhugh: You seem pretty anxious to have Mike drive for me.
- Les: Oh, yeah, well the prize money is good.
- Larry: You see, Mr. Foxhugh, if we keep him busy driving, he won't have any time for your kid.
- [Les kicks Larry in the leg]
- Larry: Ow! Hey what did you kick me for?
- Howard Foxhugh: Cynthia?
- Curly: Yeah, if we don't break this up they're liable to do something terrible like get married.
- [Les kicks Curly in the leg]
- Curly: Ow! What did you kick me for?
- Les: It's nothing to worry about. Cynthia isn't even Mike's type.
- Larry: Oh, well sure! Who'd want to marry a gorgeous millionairess?
- Curly: Yeah!
- Les: Not me.
- [Larry and Curly both at once kick Les in the leg. She screams in pain]
- Les: Ow! Oh! Ow! Oh!
- Les: [as Lt. Richards enters her kitchen through the back door] What? Is this a raid?
- Lt. Tracy Richards: Yeah, reach for the ceiling! Now turn around.
- [When she complies, he slaps her derriere]
- Lt. Tracy Richards: I just wanted to see if you packed a gun.
- Larry: Didn't you write "Ten Ways to Trap a Bachelor"?
- Diana St. Clair: Why, yes.
- Curly: And "The Mating Habits of the Single Male"?
- Diana St. Clair: Yes, I did.
- Curly: That was a great book.
- Les: I saw the movie and it was dirty!
- Mike McCoy: [singing] Now Adam and Evil, they go hand in hand, Eve taught him sin, that's the way it all began, But every time you kiss me, my heart pounds like a drum, So trouble is a woman, trouble, here I come...
- Mike McCoy: Have you been looking for me?
- Diana St. Clair: As a matter of fact, I was.
- Mike McCoy: Are you from the FBI?
- Diana St. Clair: No.
- Mike McCoy: The CIA?
- Diana St. Clair: No.
- Mike McCoy: The PTA?
- Diana St. Clair: Parent Teachers Association?
- Mike McCoy: No. The Peeping Toms Association.
- Mike McCoy: Why are you spying on me?
- Diana St. Clair: For my new book.
- Mike McCoy: "The Sex Life of Mike McCoy"?
- Diana St. Clair: I bet that would make an interesting movie.
- [whistles]
- Diana St. Clair: My name is Diana St. Clair.
- Mike McCoy: Diana St. Clair. You're the most gorgeous spy I've ever seen.
- [moves in for a kiss, looks down]
- Mike McCoy: Excuse me. I seem to be--bumping your binoculars.
- Diana St. Clair: How about, "The Mating Habits of the Single Male."
- Mike McCoy: You wrote that?
- Diana St. Clair: Did you read it?
- Mike McCoy: No, but I saw the movie.
- [whistles]
- Howard Foxhugh: He drives a Duesenberg, he races a Cobra, and he told me to go to hell. He's quite a boy.
- Mike McCoy: Where are you goin', buddy?
- Les: I'm turning in! Buddy. Pal. Guy. Louie. Norman. I'm going to join a girls band!
- Mike McCoy: When you find this Mr. Perfect, does he get some kind of award?
- Diana St. Clair: Oh, yes. He gets me.
- Mike McCoy: [singing] Here's the secret of my success, Never say yes, No, no, never say yes, No, no, never say yes...
- Cynthia Foxhugh: And then, he kissed me.
- Howard Foxhugh: Kissed you? That wasn't in the deal.
- Philip: That's disgusting!
- Howard Foxhugh: Oh, wait till somebody kisses you. You'll feel differently.
- Cynthia Foxhugh: But, Mike, it's my birthday.
- Mike McCoy: Oh, it's your birthday. Oh, who are you? George Washington?
- Mike McCoy: Look, I'm not marrying you. I'm not marrying her. I'm not marrying anybody. I'm staying single. Single! Single! Single! Single! Single!
- Violet Ranley: A 1929 Duesenberg! Just like the one Papa gave us for our first honeymoon.
- Bernard Ranley: They sure don't make them like that anymore.
- Violet Ranley: Bernard! Please. Oh, you mean the car!
- Mike McCoy: How would you like to live in the mansion?
- Larry: I'd like to live in that mansion.
- Curly: How are you gonna do that?
- Larry: How are you gonna do that?
- Mike McCoy: I think I better start some investigating.
- Mike McCoy: When was the last time you had some fun? Well, when?
- Violet Ranley: Well, on our honeymoon.
- Cynthia Foxhugh: Can't you just see those headlines now: "Singer Speeds To Victory In Fabulous Fox Five Race Car."
- Philip: May I ask, how can he speed to victory if he is not there?
- Cynthia Foxhugh: Philip, don't be technical.
- Cynthia Foxhugh: You are a snob.
- Howard Foxhugh: I am not.
- Cynthia Foxhugh: My hip, modern Daddy is a snob.
- Howard Foxhugh: Imagination built this car. It needs imagination to drive it. That's why I want you.
- Mike McCoy: Mister, if she feels as good as she looks, you've got a deal.
- Mike McCoy: [singing] When you're through swimming, I'll dry your back, Come and relax girl, In my little beach shack...
- Mike McCoy: You're quite a girl.
- Cynthia Foxhugh: You're quite a guy. Mike, there's something else I want.
- Mike McCoy: Well, do you want to tell me now or should I wait until after you get it?
- Cynthia Foxhugh: I want you.
- Cynthia Foxhugh: We knew if we tried to make you stay, you'd go. So, we figured the simplest way to get you to stay, was to tell you to go. So, we told you to go and here you are.
- Diana St. Clair: Mr. Foxhugh, we've just met. You don't even know me.
- Howard Foxhugh: No? I've read everything you've written and, believe me, I know you. You told a lot of intimate things about yourself. In bed, you don't wear any...
- Diana St. Clair: Okay, okay. You know me.
- Mike McCoy: [singing] Doncha know she's out to prove, she can really score, Never saw parts move, boy, Like that before...
- Mike McCoy: [singing] Better watch those curves, never let her steer, If she can shake your nerves, boy, She can strip your gears, She'll get your heart, goin' fast...
- Les: What is this? A raid?
- Lt. Tracy Richards: Yeah. Reach for the ceiling. Alright, now, turn around.
- [spanks Les' behind]
- Les: Well!
- Lt. Tracy Richards: I wanted to see if you packed a gun.