Billion Dollar Brain (1967)

Michael Caine: Harry Palmer

Photos 

19 more photos

Quotes 

• [Harry is shown a terminal of the Brain] 

  Harry Palmer : What does it do, tell fortunes?

  Leo Newbigen : It *makes* fortunes: ours! Just a little toy, but it puts the MI5 and the CIA back into the Stone Age.

• Harry Palmer : Okay Leo, what's the job?

  Leo Newbigen : The usual. Only more money.

  Harry Palmer : What's the catch?

  Leo Newbigen : No catch.

  Harry Palmer : Who gets killed?

  Leo Newbigen : Nobody. I'll take care of you.

  Harry Palmer : No catch and nobody gets killed?

  Leo Newbigen : That's right.

  Harry Palmer : I'd still like to know more about it.

• Colonel Ross : Your business is dead, Palmer. And you're just about keeping alive on Corn Flakes.

  Harry Palmer : The're full of vitamins.

  Colonel Ross : Really?

  Harry Palmer : Yeah.

• Colonel Stok : I suppose a young man like you wouldn't know the pleasure of removing a tight collar.

  Harry Palmer : I thought Lenin called such comforts "momentary interest."

  Colonel Stok : Don't tell me what Lenin said. I touched Lenin. I stood by him in Ruzheinaya Square in July, nineteen hundred and twenty; the second congress. I touched him. Those are the words he used to describe the comforts and pleasures with which the proletariat are diverted from their more important historic mission. But I am not being diverted. Well, are you going to offer me another drink?

  Harry Palmer : In England, Colonel, the historic mission of the proletariat consists almost entirely of momentary interest.

• Colonel Ross : Of course you realize I could draft you back any time I like, but I'm doing the decent thing and asking you to come back. You should be bloody grateful.

  Harry Palmer : I'd be bloody grateful if you'd leave, Colonel.

  Colonel Ross : This is work of national importance.

• Leo Newbigen : [Nude in the sauna with Anya]  Harry hey, what do you think, huh? Isn't she something?

  Harry Palmer : Yeah, she's great. How's the wife and kids, Leo?

• Anya : Do you think I tried to twice cross you?

  Harry Palmer : If you mean double cross, I think, yes.

  Anya : How exciting!

• General Midwinter : You have disappointed me Harry, you have let me down. You've sold out!

  Harry Palmer : What have I done?

  General Midwinter : These photographs show what you have done!

  Harry Palmer : I think you're making a big mistake, General.

  General Midwinter : You are the one who's made a mistake, boy!

  Harry Palmer : What's going on?

  General Midwinter : I am not going to rest until every communist, and everyone who works for the communists, is six feet under ground. Go down and join you're communist friend.

  Harry Palmer : You, General Midwinter, are the biggest idiot I have ever met.

• General Midwinter : [Addressing a crowd of loyal supporters]  The Lord gave us strength! The Lord gave us courage! The Lord said, "Use them!"

  General Midwinter : [continues, as the crowd yells "Amen!"]  The Lord said we must fight communism. We must smite communism! "Why dost thou sit there?" sayeth the Lord. "Rise up and spread my word. Rise up and fight my fight. Rise up and fight for what I say is right!"

  Harry Palmer : [Quietly standing amongst the crowd, with a bemused look]  Amen.

• Colonel Stok : Such fantastic dreams.

  Harry Palmer : What fantastic dreams?

  Colonel Stok : They think the Latvians are on the verge of overthrowing their tyrannical overlords. They think the people walking in the street out there are dreaming of the moment when they can become capitalist serfs again. They think we all lie awake dreaming of going to America. They think they can distribute pamphlets and gold and a vast monarchist army will materialise overnight. This is what I call fantastic dreams.

• General Midwinter : I'm leading a crusade, son. A world crusade for freedom. Why? Because I love. It's as simple as that. I love my country. Do you understand me?

  Harry Palmer : Yes.

  General Midwinter : No, you don't understand the kind of love I have for this great country. Love's not built that way, my way, any more. These days love is marriage and the compensation is alimony. Love these days is bravery under fire and the compensation is medals. Love's a donation to party funds and the compensation is a political plum. It's some lady you left back in St Louis or a fast haul in the back seat of a car. My love is nothing like that. It's this company of brave young men who are proud to make their country strong. I want my country to win. So we have to strike hard and strike first. I love my country and my dream is to make it strong. Do you understand?

  Harry Palmer : Yes, sir.

  General Midwinter : Strong! Strong! Strong! Strong!

• Colonel Stok : When I was a young man we had a song: "Where tears fall, a rose will grow". Do you know that song?

  Harry Palmer : No.

  Colonel Stok : If that was true, Latvia would be a land full of roses. You've no idea what things happened here during the war. Latvia had its share of war criminals, that worked with the Nazis, even joined the SS and massacred thousands of their own countrymen.

  [they all raises their glass] 

  Colonel Stok : Down the hatch! We've dossiers on hundreds of such Latvians. You would imagine that people guilty of such terror would remain quiet. But no, these scum are the worst troublemakers.

• Harry Palmer : What exactly have you been saying we do in Latvia?

  Leo Newbigen : I told the brain exactly what it wanted to hear.

  Harry Palmer : Oh, yes? What would that be, Leo?

  Leo Newbigen : I told it we had three hundred agents in Latvia dismantling missile sites and professional saboteurs ready for armed insurrection.

  Harry Palmer : Er, or political assassination.

  Leo Newbigen : Um, hmn. Mass uprisings...

  Harry Palmer : Overthrowing governments.

  Leo Newbigen : Yeah, overthrowing anything at all.

  Harry Palmer : Three hundred agents? How much a week?

  Leo Newbigen : Thirty thousand dollars.

  Harry Palmer : Thirty thousand dollars a week?

  Leo Newbegin : Plus expenses and from now on, you're in on half.

  Harry Palmer : Oh, thank you, Leo. But I would like to stay alive to spend it. That lunatic is about to invade Soviet territory.

  Leo Newbigen : And we're not going to be around when he does.

  Harry Palmer : When he gets within five miles of the Latvian border, every alarm in the whole world will blow and four minutes later, nobody is going to be around.

  Leo Newbigen : You want your money, don't you?

• Harry Palmer : Some games are more dangerous than others.

• General Midwinter : You like the sound of gunfire? Me, I *love* it!

  Harry Palmer : Who are you fighting, General?

  General Midwinter : You don't know what's going on in the world. There's only one important issue today: Communism. That's the threat. That's what's important. You Europeans don't know anything about it. You've all been brainwashed, just like those politicians in Washington. Do you know that the air on the east coast of America is polluted by the Reds? Oh, you might look at me, but boy I tell you and I know that the air in Texas is the only wholesome air in this world. I haven't been out of Texas in 25 years. I don't like the air in other places.

  Harry Palmer : It's amazing how we all survive.

  General Midwinter : Communism threatens Europe and Europe has got to fight back. Close ranks. Hit them hard. Real hard. Understand me, boy?

  Harry Palmer : [sounding casual]  Sounds dangerous.

  General Midwinter : It *is* dangerous!

• Harry Palmer : You mean you really are going to try to start a revolution?

  General Midwinter : When the Hungarian people rose up in 1956 and they called to the world for help, to our everlasting shame, we failed them. I tell you, boy, we will not make that mistake again. When the people of Latvia rise up and call for help - and they will - my organization with all its resources will be right there. And once we have shown the way, the United States government and all the governments of the Free World will follow. I know!

• Harry Palmer : Mind how you go, colonel.

  Colonel Stok : Mind how *you* go. Be wise! Don't go to the meeting tomorrow. Good to see you, English.

  [departs] 

  Harry Palmer : Thanks for the warning, colonel.

• General Midwinter : [leading Palmer down to his high-tech underground control center]  Come on...

  Harry Palmer : Where are we going, General?

  General Midwinter : Into the 21st century, son. This is how wars are gonna' be fought, and how life is gonna' be lived!

  Harry Palmer : Oh, it's quite modern, then?

  General Midwinter : "Modern"? It makes the Pentagon look like a room in the Alamo.

• Harry Palmer : [as they're all sitting in a steamy Finnish sauna]  Leo, you look great... better than the last time I saw you.

  Leo Newbigen : Yeah, In Prague. I haven't forgotten.

  Leo Newbigen : [to Anya]  That guy there saved my life. Fished me out of the Moldau.

  Harry Palmer : I had to. He had the car... keys in his pocket.

  Anya : Well, we must have a celebration. What do you think? Champagne? Brandy? Whisky? Vodka? What do you like?

  Harry Palmer : I wouldn't mind a cup of tea...

  Anya : [Bursts out laughing]  How beautiful! It's so beautiful, for the Englishman to have his tea!

• Harry Palmer : Dr. Kaarna, I presume?

• Harry Palmer : I suppose I ought to wish you good luck.

  Dr. Eiwort : You may do as you please. For me this is not a game of chance. And I am not in it for the money.

  Harry Palmer : What is it then, your hobby?

• Leo Newbigen : [Offering Palmer a cigarette]  Cigarette?

  Harry Palmer : [accepting it]  Half-a-million thanks.

• [first lines] 

  Harry Palmer : [to the person he has caught having broken into his office]  Stay exactly where you are. One move and I'll shoot you dead.

• Harry Palmer : Listen dolly, where are we going?

  Anya : My name is not Dolly.

• Harry Palmer : [on the phone with the "Brain']  Who is this, eh? And how did you pick on me?

• Harry Palmer : It's a bit warm in here for me, Leo.

  Leo Newbigen : Well, don't be shy. Take your clothes off. Come on, don't be so British. It's good for you. Come on.

• Harry Palmer : Where is the Crusade for Freedom Organization?

  Basil : *We* are the Crusade for Freedom Organization.

  Harry Palmer : Is this all?

• Harry Palmer : Your schemes, General, are a load of old codswallop.

• Harry Palmer : What are you doing, Leo?

  Leo Newbigen : A little "brain" surgery.

• General Midwinter : This here I'm gonna show you now is gonna knock you right off your pins. My Brain. Cost me one billion dollars. Do you like it?

  Harry Palmer : I'm impressed.

• General Midwinter : How do I know you're telling the truth?

  Harry Palmer : You don't know, General. But you're gonna have to take the chance.