- Commandant Burger: Are you taking Le Pice?
- Sgt. Nocker: Please sir, I'm trying to ask a serious question.
- Sgt. Nocker: Hold it baby. How about giving us the Dance of the Two Veils?
- Corktip: You mean seven veils.
- Sgt. Nocker: Why bother with preliminaries?
- Abdul: The Prophet has truly said. The behaviour of the white infidels is like blood coming from a stone. Bleedin' mystery.
- Lady Jane Ponsonby: [while on her way to Africa, different people coe to check something - though they actually have sex with her] Thats a funny way to check my...
- Sgt. Nocker: Ah, Egypt. Land of mystery. Home of the mighty fairies.
- Bertram Oliphant West: You mean pharaohs.
- Sgt. Nocker: I know what I mean.
- Captain Le Pice: Excuse me, Commandant. There is a woman here for you.
- Commandant Burger: A woman? But it's not Saturday, is it?
- Captain Le Pice: No, no not THAT woman.
- Simpson: You mean all these ladies are the Sheikh's wives?
- Sgt. Nocker: Yes. What's so terrible about that?
- Simpson: Think, all those mothers in law!
- Bertram Oliphant West: If you're going to kill us, why don't you just shoot us now and get it over with?
- Abdul: That is an EXCELLENT idea.
- [Sgt. Nocker and Commandant Burger are checking the supplies]
- Sgt. Nocker: Salt Tablets, The Pill... The Pill? What do you suppose they use that for?
- Commandant Burger: I cannot conceive!
- Commandant Burger: [after unveiling Sgt. Nocker as a fake, and he refuses his medal] Nein, nein, nein!
- Sgt. Nocker: Well one should be enough!
- Abdul: It has been truly said. The mind of the white infidel is like the action of the cleanser. Clean round the bend.