Bandolero! (1968)

Dean Martin: Dee Bishop

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dee Bishop : Mace, you think we could make a go of it in Montana?

  Mace Bishop : Dee, there's a town up there called Missoula. Prettiest little place you ever saw.

  Dee Bishop : What about the Indians?

  Mace Bishop : And the Rockies, they're snow-capped, and the slopes are forested. And there are lots of lakes and valleys.

  Dee Bishop : What about the Indians?

  Mace Bishop : And there's deer in Montana, Dee. And antelope, and elk, and black bear. And the...

  Dee Bishop : Mace, what about the Indians?

  Mace Bishop : What Indians?

  Dee Bishop : Ain't there no Indians in Montana?

  Mace Bishop : Well, they - a few.

  Dee Bishop : Ain't the Northern Cheyenne in Montana?

  Mace Bishop : The Nor - well, Northern Cheyenne in Mon - I, I wouldn't lie to you.

  Dee Bishop : And the Crow, and the Sioux?

  Mace Bishop : Well, they're around...

  Dee Bishop : What else, Mace?

  Mace Bishop : Listen, Dee...

  Dee Bishop : What else?

  Mace Bishop : Well, they, they - Blackfeet and Chippewa...

  Dee Bishop : Some Cree?

  Mace Bishop : Yes. Yes, there are Cree in Montana.

  Dee Bishop : And the Shoshone, and the Kutenai, and the Stoney...

  Mace Bishop : Just what are you tryin' to say?

  Dee Bishop : I'm trying to say there's a lot of gosh-darn Indians in Montana, Mace!

  Maria Stoner : [rolls her eyes]  Ooh.

• Dee Bishop : [incredulous]  You robbed a bank? You, Mace?

  Mace Bishop : Well, Dee, the bank was there... and I was there... and there wasn't very much of anybody else there... and it just seemed like the thing to do. Y'know, it's not like you didn't - something you never heard of. Lots of people rob banks for all sorts of different reasons.

  Dee Bishop : [bemused]  You just walked into a bank and helped yourself to ten thousand dollars 'cause it seemed like the thing to do?

  Mace Bishop : That's about the way it was, yeah, as, as well as I can remember, yeah.

• Mace Bishop : Why do you ride with men like these?

  Dee Bishop : Oh, I don't know. I just got used to it, I guess, through the years. You begin one way, you keep going that way, and pretty soon there's no other way.

• Deputy Sheriff Roscoe Bookbinder : Alright. Step up and get it.

  Dee Bishop : Same damn chili and beans! Ever hear of beef steak?

  Deputy Sheriff Roscoe Bookbinder : Beef steak, my ass.

• Dee Bishop : [to Maria Stoner]  We make a perfect pair, you and me -- I'm broke without a woman, and you're rich without a man.

• Maria Stoner : From here south - is the Territorio Bandolero.

  Dee Bishop : Well, what's that? Territorio Bandolero?

  Maria Stoner : Bandit country. They kill every gringo they can find.

  Dee Bishop : You don't look too worried.

  Maria Stoner : I am not a gringo,

• Maria Stoner : I thought he was your friend?

  Dee Bishop : He is, but that don't make him any less disgusting. You take Pop, for instance. He was due to be shot the day he was born. And that heart of his is nothing more but a festering sore.

• Sheriff July Johnson : I'm a different kind of Sheriff than you been used to.

  Dee Bishop : What's that supposed to mean?

  Sheriff July Johnson : It means you can't beg, borrow, steal, buy, break or pray your way out of my jail.

• Dee Bishop : Get down, Mace. Help yourself. It ain't much, its just like a woman I once had back in Kentucky: warm and free.

• Maria Stoner : You didn't have to do this!

  Dee Bishop : I didn't do it, he did it. If he hadn't a done it, I'd a done it.

• Dee Bishop : Still pickin' up after your brother. Mama would be proud of that. Seen Mama lately?

  Mace Bishop : Not since the funeral.

• Babe Jenkins : She sure is pretty.

  Dee Bishop : She's not pretty. She's beautiful! Beautiful is somethin' real fine. Somethin' you can't never have, no matter how bad you want it.

• Mace Bishop : Don't you think its about time we have a talk?

  Dee Bishop : To tell you the truth...

  Mace Bishop : You know, eh, liars always start that way.

  Dee Bishop : No, Mace, I'll tell you the truth. I can't remember back to a single instance where talkings ever got me any place.

• Dee Bishop : You know how long it's been since I've been with a woman I could respect?

• Dee Bishop : Still picking up after your brother, Moma would be proud of that. Seen Moma lately?

  Mace Bishop : Not since the funeral.

  Dee Bishop : Mama's dead?

  Mace Bishop : Buried her six weeks to the day after Appomattox. It was raining.

  Dee Bishop : [moved]  Sh..Sh..She didn't suffer?

  Mace Bishop : Only in her mind.

  Dee Bishop : Because of me, you mean.

  Mace Bishop : Now you're the one that said that.

  Dee Bishop : I killed her! That's what you mean.

  Mace Bishop : You never did her any good Dee. That's what I mean. The day she found you joined Quantrill she started going downhill for the last time. And then when you fellows burned Lawrence Kansas, after that she never spoke another word, she just sat by the fire and didn't say anything.

  Dee Bishop : Hey Robbie, there's a Moma for you. One boy goes with Quantrill the other goes with Sherman. One helps to burn down a town the other helps to burn down a state. And the one that burned down the town is the one that done in his Moma.

  Mace Bishop : Sherman was war Dee, Quantrill was meanness.