Hot Millions (1968)

Maggie Smith: Patty Terwilliger Smith

Photos 

Quotes 

• Willard C. Gnatpole : You like working for Mr. Smith?

  Patty : Oh, yeah, yeah. He's nice. I like tubby men.

  Willard C. Gnatpole : Fat! He's fat!

  Patty : Yeah, well, he's well covered.

• Pendleton's Landlady : So you're a traffic warden now? That's a nice steady job.

  Patty : Yeah, I got fired today.

  Pendleton's Landlady : Whatever for?

  Patty : Well, I haven't the heart to give anyone a ticket. It's wicked trying to park out West. I let them treble park right along the Strand, see.

• Patty : What's he want?

  Marcus Pendleton : Assets.

  Patty : What are they?

  Marcus Pendleton : Young female donkeys.

• Patty : What do you want me to do?

  Marcus Pendleton : [as Caesar Smith]  Well, I want you to look as though you're doing something.

  Patty : Oh.

  Marcus Pendleton : That's half the battle, isn't it?

• Patty : [after she's told Marcus that she's going to have a baby]  Look, love. Are you all right?

  Marcus Pendleton : I don't know. I don't know. I just know that in a few month's time, someone is going to be looking up to me for the rest of my life, and that's terrifying.

• Patty : A woman's place is in the home... making money!

• Patty : As my broker always says, the first million is always the hardest.

• Patty : I'm in the puddin' club. I'm going to be a mother.

• Patty : Boy, it's hot in here, idn't it? May I take my coat off?

  Willard C. Gnatpole : Yes, any - anything.

• Patty : I don't know how I'm gonna like it here.

• Marcus Pendleton : I suppose you can see my window from yours?

  Patty : Uh, well, no... only from the kitchen.

  Marcus Pendleton : Oh, I'd better be careful to keep my curtains drawn.

  Patty : I'm sure you've got nothing to hide.

  Marcus Pendleton : Myself.

  Patty : Oh, heh, heh.

• Patty : If I do get lonely, I think I'd probably, you know, keep to myself.

  Patty : Yeah, well that's the trouble with most people. That's what they all do. Keep it to themselves. Well, I've got beyond that. I'm so lonely I could scream it from the rooftops.

• Patty : It's just I'm sorry about the curry.

  Marcus Pendleton : Oh, no mind about that. I was dreading that. You know, I hate curry.

  Patty : Do you?

  Marcus Pendleton : Yeah.

  Patty : Yeah, I hate it too. It's vile idn't it?

  Marcus Pendleton : Vile. It is vile. Yes, it is.

  Patty : I've got a couple of bangers if you'd like them.

  Marcus Pendleton : Well, now, look here, I don't want to impose.

  Patty : Oh, well, shut up. Light the candles. They're on the mantlepiece.

• Patty : Why don't you marry me?

  Marcus Pendleton : You poppin' the question?

  Patty : Well, it's gotta be popped, idn't it?

  Marcus Pendleton : Yeah, you put it that way, yes.

• Marcus Pendleton : Have a deck of cards?

  Patty : Yeah, in that dr... hey, you're not gonna start playin' cards. I just asked you to marry me.

  Marcus Pendleton : I know, but if you shuffle them and then cut with the queen of hearts I'll marry you

  Patty : Oh, you will. Yeah, let's get the cards.

  [after many cuts, she exposes the queen of hearts] 

• Patty : It's money, idn't it.

  Marcus Pendleton : Yeah, they told me it was. Yes. I wouldn't believe them at first.

• Patty : Mr. Smith, are you afraid of women?

  Marcus Pendleton : No. Why should I be? Women? No. Oh, mark you, I haven't known very many in my life, apart from mother.

  Patty : You were fond of your mother, is that it?

  Marcus Pendleton : No, no. I hated her. Very hateful. She couldn't cook, you see, and all through my youth, I remember having to eat the muck she dished up and pretend to like it. She was very sensitive, quite apart from being a bad cook.

• Patty : [He's brought home a large zippered satchel filled with cash]  What you got in here? It weighs a ton.

  Marcus Pendleton : Oh, open it up. I've got no secrets from you.

  Patty : What you brought back? Dear, this is money, idn't it?

  Marcus Pendleton : Yeah. They told me it was, yes. I wouldn't believe them at first.

  Patty : There's about 1 million pounds here.

  Marcus Pendleton : You've got the exact right figure, you have. I got a slight raise.

  Patty : Where did you get... You would never. You've been stealing!

  Marcus Pendleton : Well, you want to be careful what you say, you know. Any fool can steal. Everybody does a bit. I've been embezzling.

  Patty : Is that what you've been doing on all them trips? Yeah, I thought it was the "other" you were doing.

  Marcus Pendleton : I would never do anything dishonest like that. Patty!

• Patty : They work the shirt off your back here, don't they?

  Willard C. Gnatpole : Yes, I heard about that.

• Marcus Pendleton : Why'd you take your dress off?

  Patty : Well, look at this filthy, rotten ribbon, I don't want to get it dirty, do I?

• Marcus Pendleton : Any particular time?

  Patty : What for? Oh, no! No. I'm easy.

• Patty : Would I ask you to if I didn't want you to?

• Patty : It was ever so nice of you to see me, Mr. Gnatpole.

  Willard C. Gnatpole : Oh, not at all. I mean, the fact that, well, you called me, I'd like to sort of consider that a, well, a bond of friendship. And there is nothing more beautiful on earth than - friendship.

  Patty : Oh. Oh, no. Now, I agree. It's beautiful - particularly between, well, people.

• Patty : Sit down. Take your shoes off.

  Marcus Pendleton : You take them off.

  Patty : All right.

• Patty : We both got our pride, didn't we, that's the trouble. I'm not the only one, eh?

  Marcus Pendleton : No, you're not. No.

  Patty : Be more economical, wouldn't it, if we could share our pride. You know, kind of wend pride between two.

  Marcus Pendleton : Yeah, well how can you do that?

  Patty : Well, there must be a way.

• Marcus Pendleton : That's what comes out of loneliness, see?

  Patty : Are you pleased?

  Marcus Pendleton : Oh, I'm delighted you're going to be a mum. And I'm going to be a dad. Yeah, I'll be expected to tell it the facts of life, won't I, when I've only just discovered a few of them now myself.

• Patty : Why do you let your hair grow long then? Look at it! Go, look at it, all hanging down there.

• Patty : You can go to jail for embezzling, can't you?

  Marcus Pendleton : Yes, that's why I'll have dinner on the plane, see.

  Patty : I see. You gonna keep it, are you?

  Marcus Pendleton : That was my intention, yes.

  Patty : Well, I better get used to it, hadn't I?

• Patty : I know why men go to Paris. I'm not daft.

  Marcus Pendleton : It so happens that nowadays even the French come over to London for *that*.

• Patty : 'Ere, what's that funny smell? It's like burning rubber.

  Marcus Pendleton : Ah, that smell you get when you've got the air conditioning turned on to "Fresh air".