- Davey: Love's all over the world dad. It protects us all.
- Grif Henderson: Well, I've been all over the world son. Take a gun.
- Jenny Henderson: [talking about their son] Well, you've been away on so many assignments this year, you and Davey... never talk anymore.
- Grif Henderson: When he was a kid we used to talk a lot. Used to make model airplanes together. Now all he wants to do is *sniff* the glue.
- Haskell Wax: Eh, do you think Vera... dominates me?
- Grif Henderson: [nods] Mm-hmm.
- Haskell Wax: My psychiatrist says it's good for me.
- [Grif nods]
- Haskell Wax: Of course, Vera picked my psychiatrist.
- [Grif looks at him warily]
- Vera Wax: [referring to her husband] Haskell does anything I tell him to. It's like being married to a Jell-O mold.
- Jenny Henderson: [after they've finished dinner in a restaurant] I'll buy you dinner, dear.
- [takes money out, looks at the bill]
- Jenny Henderson: Oh. The numbers all jumble together, heh. I think I had too much wine, heh.
- Grif Henderson: Well, I tell you what, *you* just hang on to me, sweetheart.
- [puts his arm around her]
- Jenny Henderson: Ooo, uh, I'll be better when I'm in bed.
- Grif Henderson: You always are.
- The Purser: Loook, were you assigned here to "C" deck?
- Jenny Henderson: Yes, but my husband and I specifically requested a private compartment.
- The Purser: Heh-heh, that should have caused some tiny titters at the reservation office. "C" deck is for the student tours. On this deck there is no "private." Ya have to bunch up. You're bunching with Selkirk and Ott.
- Jenny Henderson: We have a reservation. Look, my husband works for SC magazine, and Mr. Wax was supposed to get us a special compartment. We want to be together.
- The Purser: On "C" there is no "together." "C" is for cheap, crowded, cramped, crummy.
- [starts to walk away]
- Jenny Henderson: But I was...
- The Purser: Look, I'm *very* busy. I have enough troubles trying to keep these boys and girls apart. Whaddya wanna be together for anyway? *You're married.*
- Grif Henderson: [Grif taking photos of a group of female students on the ship] That's it, look natural.
- [looks at viewfinder, sees that Gloria is posing like a model, walks towards them]
- Grif Henderson: No, no, now look, Gloria, these are supposed to be student shots. Would you... try to look like a student?
- Gloria: But lots of times I feel more like a teacher.
- Grif Henderson: You sure you're only 16?
- Gloria: They've been asking me that since I was 11.
- [exasperated, Grif walks back to take more photos]
- Davey: Hey Dad- look, Dad, d- did you ever date any girls before you met Mom?
- Grif Henderson: Sure, Davey. Your mother didn't find me in a monastery, you know.
- Davey: Yeah, well, I just don't understand 'em. You know, one minute I'm just perfect with Bootsie, then wham!
- [slaps the bar]
- Davey: You know, I've given her honesty, and we shared everything. I always thought trust was the basis for all meaningful relationships.
- Grif Henderson: Uh, only with your dog. You can't trust women. *Your* mom is the one exception to the rule.
- Davey: Now, just what's so different about Mom? Ah, I mean, she's capable of doing some pretty stupid things. She- she's a woman.
- Grif Henderson: She's not a woman, Davey. She's *Mom.*
- Jenny Henderson: ...And then I wear *one* very normal bikini and you... Do you know what you are? You're a narrow-minded... prude!
- [sputters]
- Grif Henderson: You wore it with another man!
- [Jenny makes a sound of disgust]
- Grif Henderson: Even the Marquis de Sade had his limits.
- Paul: [after giving Davey advice] I know everything. A bus driver's like a cab driver, only with more gears... vroomm... vroomm!