Bob Hope: Sgt. Dan O'Farrell
Quotes
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Pvt. Johnny Bannon : Sarge, movie starts in about five minutes. It's a double feature, Sarge. Two Bing Crosby pictures.
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : Bite your tongue.
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Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : Snavely's at the Crosby double feature, so it's a cinch he's asleep.
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Calvin Coolidge Ishimura : Don't shoot. I'm an American like you. I'm Calvin Coolidge Ishimura.
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : Yeah, and I'm Sessue Hayakawa O'Farrell.
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Maria : And I don't care if the Army does come first... as long as I'm the first woman.
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : And the last.
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Lt. Lyman P. Jones : Sorry, I bit your hand, but I was dreaming about Nurse Krause again.
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : Yeah, those reruns are murder.
Lt. Lyman P. Jones : You wouldn't believe it, but she doesn't look too bad in a long, blonde wig.
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : Not if she wears it backwards.
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Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : Sit down, red man. I'll drive you to the cigar store.
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Capt. Elwood Prohaska : Now, what else do you have to suggest we do about this dry spell?
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : Get girls.
Capt. Elwood Prohaska : Girls? That's impossible.
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : Well, I know they'll never replace beer, but it's worth a try.
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[while on guard duty as others on the base watch a Bing Crosby movie, Sgt. O'Farrell hears the crowd laughing]
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : He must be singin' again.
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Nurse Nellie Krause : Remember, I'm a nurse. I've got the cure for what ails you.
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : Nobody's THAT sick.
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[after seeing Nurse Krause, Sgt. O'Farrell screeches his jeep to a halt before Lt. Jones]
Lt. Lyman P. Jones : Yeah, I know. You're lost and you need a map to get home.
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : Worse. I know where I am. I need a map to get lost.
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[Dan and Maria reunite]
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : I haven't been kissed like that since I re-enlisted.
Maria : Then you ARE glad to see me.
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : I got the shakes. It's either you or malaria.
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Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : [in regards to accessing beer] This war's gonna have a head on it.
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Capt. Elwood Prohaska : [delivering Sgt. O'Farrell's eulogy] He always knew what to do... till the day he died.
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : He died? Who, me? That's the Army for you. Nobody tells ya anything.
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Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : [looking down at Maria on the beach] Pardon me, have we met somewhere before? I never forget a face; I'll get to yours in a minute.
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Lt. Cmdr. Roger Snavely : Not being a drinking man myself, I probably don't understand the importance of liquor.
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell : Right, sir. That would be like a cannibal ordering a baked potato.
