The Bed Sitting Room (1969)

Marty Feldman: Nurse Arthur

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nurse Arthur : What I have here, sir, is your wife's Death Certificate.

  Father : Oh, why, thank you.

  Mother : Oh, dear. There. Well, it was a lovely way to go.

  Penelope : But, Mum is alive!

  Father : I'm afraid not, dear.

  [hands Mother her Death Certificate] 

  Mother : It makes me feel all funny to read it.

• Nurse Arthur : It's your wife being alive that seems to be all the trouble, sir.

  Father : I'm sorry.

  Mother : Oh, I'm sorry. We don't want to cause any trouble.

• Nurse Arthur : Best thing to do is to talk dirty among yourselves. Well, if you can't come to that, flip through the dirty books.

• Nurse Arthur : We have this new system. Instead of moving the baby out, we move the furniture in.

• Nurse Arthur : We should have asked ourselves, "Is it really necessary for people to leave the womb nowadays? That's when most of the trouble seems to start in this wicked world."