The Bed Sitting Room (1969)

Mona Washbourne: Mother

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mother : [On being shown her own death certificate by the nurse]  Do I lie down or something?

• Mother : I wish there were more people her own age on the Circle Line.

• Alan : Actually, sir, I'm a commuter chap. You know, backwards and forwards.

  Mother : That's nice.

  Alan : Forwards and backwards.

  Father : How dare you!

  Mother : Does it get boring?

  Father : How really dare you say such things.

  [looks at his pregnant daughter Penelope] 

  Father : And *do* them.

  [Penelope snickers] 

  Alan : Well, I'd be interested in joining your party. I'm sure you could use another pair of hands.

  Father : You keep your filthy commuter hands to yourself!

• Father : She's got big busts, hasn't she, for a girl her age.

  Alan : Yeah.

  Father : Well, this bust, especially, it seems to, the nipples seem to stand out more on that one.

  Mother : Father's very observant. He was in the Corp!

  Penelope : I wish you wouldn't talk about me in front of Alan. He doesn't want to know about my busts.

  Alan : No! I do! I do!

  [Penelope smiles] 

  Mother : Shall we stop her for tea?

  Father : I hope all this family talk isn't boring you, Alan.

  Alan : No, not a bit of it.

• Mother : If I had known the end would be such a relief, if only I'd--and I used to say, "For Christ's sake, drop it." Didn't I?

• Nurse Arthur : What I have here, sir, is your wife's Death Certificate.

  Father : Oh, why, thank you.

  Mother : Oh, dear. There. Well, it was a lovely way to go.

  Penelope : But, Mum is alive!

  Father : I'm afraid not, dear.

  [hands Mother her Death Certificate] 

  Mother : It makes me feel all funny to read it.

• Penelope : Mum's alive!

  Mother : Well, I thought I was, dear. By rights, I should be. But, how can you tell if it's here in black and white.

  [shows Penelope her Death Certificate] 

• Nurse Arthur : It's your wife being alive that seems to be all the trouble, sir.

  Father : I'm sorry.

  Mother : Oh, I'm sorry. We don't want to cause any trouble.

• Mother : Don't argue with the nurse, dear. She's bound to know best what's best for us.

• Shelter Man : Will you do for me what my first wife did? Doris tries but she can't coordinate, you see. Will you do it for me?

  Mother : Well, so long as we get it over quickly--before Daddy misses me.

• Mother : [as a cupboard]  Have you not yet finished with my poor bruised body?

  Lord Fortnum of Alamein : [as a bed-sitting room]  You that black man's woman?

  Mother : That's hardly likely in my condition.

  Lord Fortnum of Alamein : And what is your condition?

  Mother : I'm a cupboard. Will nobody close my drawers?