Hilfe, ich liebe Zwillinge (1969)

Georg Thomalla: Onkel Fritz

Quotes 

• Onkel Fritz : [disguised as the female teacher Mrs. Darling]  Excuse me, where is the hotel management school.

  Ziborius : Over there. I'm the principal.

  Onkel Fritz : So the way leads me to you.

  Ziborius : Ziborius.

  Onkel Fritz : Darling.

  Ziborius : Excuse me, do we know each other from earlier?

  Onkel Fritz : Unfortunately no.

  Ziborius : But dear lady said 'Darling'.

  Onkel Fritz : Oh, what unfortunate missunderstanding. My dear name is 'Darling'.

  Ziborius : Ah, Darling, the new cooking teacher. Hello. Kiss your hand. Are you doing well again?

  Onkel Fritz : By no means. I'm my niece. I mean my sister. I mean my sister cabled me that she is not doing well and she sent me here, because we can't leave you alone with the cooking classes.

• Andy : Uncle Fritz, wake up. He is sleeping like a sack again.

  [Suddenly sees Fritz on the floor, sleeping] 

  Andy : Fritz, what are you doing down there?

  Onkel Fritz : You see, tonight I heard something falling down, but I didn't realise that it was me.

• Onkel Fritz : [picks up the phone]  Hello?

  [suddenly scared, puts some fabric over the phone to disguise his voice] 

  Onkel Fritz : I told you already my uncle isn't here. What? He is dead. Away. In the puerperium.

  [slams down the phone] 

• Onkel Fritz : I tell you, this is some day today.

  Andy : Next year we are going to cancel that day.

  Onkel Fritz : If we are going to survive it.

  Andy : Why? Are you preparing a new experiment?

• Onkel Fritz : I have to send you dearest greetings from my sister.

  Mr. Brown : Where is she? I wanted to introduce her to my mommy.

  Onkel Fritz : The mommy, the good mommy. How is she?

  Mr. Brown : Very good. Why?

  Onkel Fritz : Still in Oklahoma?

  Mr. Brown : Where is she?

  Onkel Fritz : Who? Your mommy?

  Mr. Brown : No, your sister.

  Onkel Fritz : With the mommy.

  Mr. Brown : In Oklahoma?

  Onkel Fritz : No, in Bielefeld, with my mommy.

  Mr. Brown : But I wanted to introduce her to my mommmy. She already knows her mommy.

• Mr. Brown : What about the inventions I wanted to buy?

  Onkel Fritz : Ah, no problem. All invetions and patents were built by me and my sister together. I am just like my ister, you can do the same thing with me.

  Mr. Brown : I can't introduce you to my mommy.

• Onkel Fritz : [Dressed as a woman]  Isn't this a great boat, in which Hanna is driving.

  [suddenly realise Renate in front of him/her, thinking that this is Hanna] 

  Onkel Fritz : But aren't you out there right now?

  Andy : Oh auntie, auntie. You caught the Wörthersee-disease.

  Onkel Fritz : Not that. Browny darling, do I look sick?

  Mr. Brown : Not at all, sweety.

  Onkel Fritz : Darling.

  Mr. Brown : If you look at me like that I get weak.

  Onkel Fritz : Well you should drink tomorrow a MOBIS-bottle with your coffee. Makes you strong.

• Busebius's assistant : [Fritz opened up the oil container of a car. Oil is coming out]  What have you done again?

  Onkel Fritz : Don't worry, I just checked the oil.

  Busebius's assistant : Why? It is full.

  Onkel Fritz : It used to be.

  Busebius's assistant : We all have to do everything twice.

  [kicks Fritz, he lands under a different car] 

• Busebius : Where is the crazy guy?

  Onkel Fritz : I'm here, what can I do for you?

  Busebius : What are you doing down there?

  Onkel Fritz : As you told me, I'm fixing the car.

  Busebius : I can see that. But it's the car of the competitor, you, you, you...

  Onkel Fritz : Idiot?

  Busebius : Exactly.